Sunday, 01 July 2012
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The Sex Schedule
When you first find someone to “bump uglies” with there’s no real routine to it. In fact, routine goes out the window as life is substituted for spontaneous de-clothing at any available opportunity.But as you settle into a relationship, and remember that doing well at your job is of some relevance, things get back to normal. But within the daily timetable of eat, sleep and work, do you consciously schedule sex?
I remember being horrified when my girlfriend and I stopped having sex every night. Even now I feel a bit whimsical about the good old days: It was so fun to just abandon life and fall in love.
Sure, “horror” is a bit of an overreaction, but having regular sex is important. And when lust chills out sex can get pushed to the side when your timetable gets filled up with boring shit like buying milk.
It sounds unromantic but I’ve heard that scheduling sex can work. Not along the lines of “tongue Tuesday” or “flick my bean Friday” but I know I definitely find comfort in having sex “so many times a week.”
This spring, about to fall asleep, I realized I was about to go a whole week without sex for the first time in our yearlong relationship. Needless to say I rallied. I’m 23, and I’m not ready to succumb to a fortnightly fuck just yet.
Are you a scheduler, or more “let’s go with the flow” when it comes to your sex schedule? Are you even conscious of it?
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About the Author
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- From: lovelife
- Name: Iona
- About Me: I love lots of things, although at the top of my list is Harper Beckham, possibly the best dressed baby ever. Aside from creeping Harper I love Stumbling, running, weight training, and eating chocolate pudding whenever possible. I'm not a relationship expert but I'm happy to throw my two cents in
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Comments (28)
I'm conscious of making time for it if I realize it's been a few days and I haven't gotten laid. I don't write "have sex" in my planner, it would put too much pressure on making sure I was in the right mood, and he was in the right mood... and that just doesn't happen. It's easier to just allow there to be time, and to take up that time if if I feel it.
Sex is better when its unpredictable.
if my s.o. calls it bump uglies, then that's enough to ruin the mood
I wouldn't schedule it. making sex routine or having sex everyday ruins it for me personally. I'd tease my guy for a few days or maybe a week. that way he'll crave me. he'll do the same to me. then we'll want each other so bad that when we do get together---our built up lava will explode upon contact
let things build up and explode
it's the same concept as masturbation; do it too much and you'll lose your juice power. withhold and then you'll have a bigger load. dangit I want my own penis to ejaculate with
this post gave me penis envy for some reason
If I could, I'd have sex daily. lol. But the schedule of my SO and I make that idea impossible. We typically have sex at night after work/ before I sleep since it is my schedule that's so tight right now. But once summer term is over, I hope to have way more random sex since I'll be less tired and have loads of time. lol. So essentially I guess it is planned but not to the minute. lol. Sometimes you gotta!
no sex schedule for me...but when i used to be in a relationship, i'd want sex all the time, like 3 times per day.
@superGchik@xanga - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1sMhn32n5g8 you've got a long way to go.
but i mean, we should still hang out sometime.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - man i want to be a tiger now. 3 times is reasonable for me. i can't have sex all day long, i'd get nothing done. we should def hang out sometime.
@superGchik@xanga - maybe you should just learn to multitask better. for example, i had a friend pick up the phone mid-bj once (which i thankfully didn't know when i called, cause i needed something rather urgently and i'd have hung up). the possibilities are endless!
let's go to that south indian restaurant in murray hill. i should warn you ahead of time though, i'm only gonna break your heart. just like taio cruz.
we always just go with the flow, but usually just do it late at night, anyway.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - actually i'm a great multi-tasker, the only problem is that i do travel a bit for work every now and then so it can be tricky.
lol...i have no idea where murray hill is at...let's see, i think i might be the one to break your heart.
We have to go with the flow....or trickle....or nearly dried up well. 8 years together, a toddler and another on the way well, to be blunt life has become a major cock block.
Bahahahaha just got the best mental image..
"Honey, wake up!!"
"What?"
"We need to have sex!"
"Why?"
"Because we haven't done it in almost a week!"
"..."
Hey now, it's as good a reason as any! ;]
I wish I could schedule it. My SO loves having sex, we've been together for almost a year now and he wants it multiple times a day. On average its about 2-3 times daily. I like having sex but I have a hard time keeping up sometimes. Some days I just want to cuddle and relax.
My boyfriend and I go with the flow. We don't live together so it's basically whenever we're alone. When we do start living together, I'm sure we'll be having sex all the time -- no schedule needed.
@lilxsillygrl@xanga - My SO is the same way. I just want to lay around and enjoy his company at times.
My boyfriend and I are 21 and 20 and I was a virgin when we first did it at the end of last October. We literally only have had sex about once every two weeks. Now it's maybe once every week or week and a half. We don't live together, but I could go for sex every time I saw him and that's probably about 4 times a week. I wouldn't mind more either ;P. But he doesn't seem to want it as bad as me... I'm not the first girl he's had sex with though. He had a 3 year long relationship before me and I'm thinking...SOMEHOW..he got a lot of his sexual urges out on her? ... =[ I don't know. But this sucks.
@superGchik@xanga - ha i'm pretty sure that like...70% of xangans are from new york, so i thought i'd take my chances. you're not one of those horrid cali girls, are you? cause that's a total dealbreaker.
no dude, this happens every time. you're going to think you can keep things casual, then you're going to develop feelings and want something serious, only to find that i'm emotionally unavailable. happens every time.
all i'm saying is, don't say i didn't warn you :p
2-3x/mo
Definitely not scheduled.
I guess I'd go for a schedule, bc I don't really love sex and it could prevent the partner from trying to hit up on me like every night.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - i'm a cali native but i actually live near the east coast.
isn't that how all relationships are these days? no one really wants a commitment and they don't want to be lonely either so they just play the in between bc they think it's safe.
@Awake_My_Soul420@xanga - Done it, haha! Woke up from a sound sleep and woke him up...well, he was already up in a sense... ; )
I like it when it's unpredictable, but there are times when I flat out say "we're having sex today. Period. No questions asked until after the show."
With my last girlfriend we pretty much scheduled our intimacy for Saturday nights, because we didn't get to see much of each other due to both being busy with work and living quite some distance from each other. We only saw each other one or two days a week, and that lack of time contributed to us breaking up, though we're still friends now (which can't be said for my other ex-girlfriends).
Sex is much better when it's spontaneous anyway, as long as you're not an idiot and decide to have unprotected sex. Scheduled sex is good, just... not as much. I think the best sex I've *ever* had was a few weeks ago with my best friend's sister. We've known each other for over ten years, it just happened on a complete whim one afternoon and we don't regret it whatsoever. I've always had a crush on her too but I was too scared to act on it, or she was with someone else or I was with someone else. We're not sure where we're going to go but it's nice to see the option finally open.
how is thursday "thirstday" and not "thrustday"...
@superGchik@xanga - hahaha i am *definitely* the wrong person to make such a judgment. i have only ever seen one girl for more than 1 month, and it was 2 years ago (for 2 months). though i guess what i said earlier is kind of happened with that girl.
as for being lonely, speak for yourself :p