Thursday, 28 June 2012
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Is She Being Serious?
I have a friend who's head over heels for a guy she just started dating, and I'd be happy for her...if he didn't buy them an apartment only a few days after they started dating. I know, it's none of my business but I worry about her sometimes. Just days before they started dating, she was telling me about all of these crushes she had, how she wasn't ready for a relationship (she had been hooking up...meaning sleeping with with a few guys).I was trying to keep an open mind, that okay maybe she truly does like this guy. I fell in love with Daniel after our first night together so who am I to judge, right? I was already dreaming about our wedding, what our home would be like, how amazing it would be to grow old with him.
Yesterday he sent me an IM saying, "I have the best boyfriend EVER!" Jokingly I said, "No I do!! :P" and I expected her to laugh and go off onto whatever she wanted to talk about but no, she got a little catty.
"Well did YOUR boyfriend buy you an apartment within a week of dating?!"
I was taken aback by this. Did she really think that her life was somehow superior? Was she really caught up in all of the possessions and not him? I didn't say anything back to her and she kept going on and on about how her boyfriend is "soooo amazing." What's even more shocking (I guess that's the world I wanna use) to me is that she boasts about him being a virgin."It's a horrible tease you know! It's hot!" I didn't know being a virgin automatically put you in the category of a tease.
I don't know, guys. She keeps bragging about all of the material stuff that they're going to do, blahblahblah and it's getting on my nerves! Loving somebody isn't about the things they buy you, at least to me it isn't.
I guess I should just smile and nod when she opens her mouth.
What would you do in my situation?
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- From: UnconventionalButterfly@xanga
- About Me: Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. — Marilyn Monroe
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Comments (42)
I don't think he's a virgin. He's probably got a wife somewhere and is living a double life. Like in the movies. Doesn't seem like a "virginly" thing to buy someone you don't even known an apartment the week after you meet. Is he loaded or something? Moving in like that's kinda fast isn't it for a "virgin's" supposed pace?
They didn't fix my typo I saw after I submitted this D: Its supposed to be she* instead of he.
I'd just be there to support my friend if and/or when things fall apart. Smiling and nodding is a good idea unless there are clear signs this guy is wrong for your friend.
lol this is such a petty post. Are you guys in high school or something
She's probably going to ditch all her friends to spend all her time in her apartment with her boyfriend, so I wouldn't even worry about it. Just be happy you're not as narrow-sighted as she is.
@Erika_Steele@xanga - Agreed.
My instincts are with yours, it sounds outrageous. But I also feel like all relationships are different, they could have something amazing. Though either way, she's an asshat for turning it into a competition....like, really?
he probably rented a bachelor pad and said that he bought it for her to make her feel special very quickly. then tells her that he's a virgin so that she can't resist him since she sleeps around, and that's his ploy to get her to sexually chase him and take his v-card that might not exist, because as soon as he has what he wants, she comes home and the entire place is empty and he fled to con another. although that's too much work just for sex. maybe he gets a sick fix out of conning people's feelings. who knows. or he is just that desperate to get laid. or he could be a rich guy with time to spare, so he has several mistresses. my guy sounds too good to be true, too. excuse mi whilst I do an interwebular inbestigation on him
You don't have to do anything. I mean, I'd be polite. Then, I'd sit back and patiently wait for this to end horribly, which it will.
sounds like you're just jealous. when you know you know. its her life. and as for the text convo- it just sounds like a misunderstanding because you didn't know she had a boyfriend so assumed it was about you, but no she does have one. so- time will tell. and yeah, people who don't have sex are sometimes called teases lol even if they're not teasing just the restraint of sex is sometimes a tease in itself to some ppl.
I think she is blinded by it, and thinks it's a prove of love. Probabaly he didn't even buy it....I mean I don't believe that. Perhapshe rented it or he or someone he knows had it before.
I think she's very very naive, and he is making use of it. I'd tell her to not let him blind her. Thats my concern.
If it is all true...well, let them.
I very much doubt he bought anything, and I very much doubt he's a virgin, but if she wants to be naive, let her - just be there to pick up the pieces when it all goes wrong.
In your situation, I'd probably leave her to make her own mistakes. It sounds like she's too far gone to listen to anything sensible. That photo at the top is so attractive. (fans self)
I agree with the others, you just have to step back and let her do what she's going to do. I'd probably stop talking to her just because I have ZERO patience for people like this, but that's your prerogative. G'luck.
@atl_luv@xanga - I agree, also she's speaking in a state of infatuation. Let her go on about her lovely life and eventually the honey moon phase will wear ff. In terms of fixation of material goods (including her bf's virginity since she's idolizing it as a thing), clearly she has incorrect mindset of what a relationship. let her make her mistakes and learn on her own...
@Shadowshif@xanga - Yep, I always say if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is and that there's always a catch. Nothing's ever really free. I wouldn't be there for her friend if it was a shitty friend who bragged this to me. She's probably gonna get stuck with the rent she probably can't pay when the guy ditches her. It'll be interesting to hear how it goes down. If she wasn't so braggish about it maybe I would be there for her, but she just uses it to 1-up her relationships it sounds like.
Your friend is crazy. End of story.
Sounds like you're kind of jealous.
What would I do in your situation?
I would think back to when you fell hard and fast for your man. Were you so head over heels that maybe for a while you talked about it a LOT. Maybe annoyed your friends a little and they just wanted you to let up?
It's pretty common at the beginning of a new love attachment for people to get tedious and braggy. It's annoying as f*ck, but it's temporary and friends put up with it for one another.
I wouldn't worry about it. Don't hang out with her if she annoys you. Easy.
Uhm, why dont you let your friend find whatever happiness she wants to find? You are the one being catty. After all, you fell in love with your man on the first night, why are you being so judgemental as to say that she cant find the same thing you have?
Check your self. This is why its so hard to have girl friends. They belittle and demean, even in your happiest moments. You should be a good friend and say "Im happy for you." And you should mean it. Otherwise, you are just another overly competitive bitch who is part of the problem.
She probably wants something to be able to impress people with, to be able to be proud of something to make up for whatever she may be lacking in her life. Let her have her moment, her joy, her new reason to be happy. Don't take it personally when she talks about this and that. It is her situation, so let it be.
on the flip side your response to her text sounds catty, jokingly or not.
Get a good description of him. Name, photos, etc. That way if your friend ends up going missing, you've got something for the police to go off of.