A friend of mine has recently lamented that her boyfriend isn't up for sex as much as he used to be when they first started dating a year ago. It has her worried that there may be something wrong or he's losing interest.
I've tried telling her that it's normal. We're not rabbits despite our higher hormone levels. Other stressors can play a huge part in the bedroom too and, from what she's told me, there's a lot on his plate right now.
Despite any sort of comfort or rationalities I may give her, she still seems a little uneasy that their sex life isn't a nonstop thrill ride anymore.
What do you do to get through a dry spell or spice things up in the bedroom? Do you think having a dry spell is normal?
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Comments (9)
If you're going through a dry spell in your relationship, the key is to COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR PARTNER instead of worrying and speculating about it with other friends.
People make things more complicated than they really are sometimes.
I agree with @QuantumStorm@xanga fullheartedly.
I'm sure there have been times where your friend has made her partner feel like they're experiencing a dry spell too, and she just thinks it's normal and all chicks have the right to deprive their partner of sex.
Your reassurance should be enough, but ultimately she needs to figure this out with her man.
Hormonal changes are a part of life. It happens. Stress can be a huge factor., too. Just because someone wants sex less does not mean they are uninterested in the person they're with. I'm going through something similar, but my boyfriend expresses his concern and we talk about it. Sometimes you just don't want to have sex and that's okay. If someone cannot understand that they either don't trust the other person or they kind of a jerk..
maybe you're not a rabbit...
maybe do stuff to him while he's asleep since he's too stressed/tired or whatever, but only if he agrees. of course if both are mutually into it, then it is more fun, but my guy doesn't mind if I'm asleep. if I'm too tired from work, I won't have the energy for it. I usually take a nap when I get home and I'm not in the mood. he has a fetish of doing stuff when I'm not aware. it is creepy if it is some stranger, but he's so hot that I don't mind but welcome him touching me. sometimes he's too tired, but I just watch him sleep and let him have his peaceful slumber. then I sigh about how gorgeous and adorable he is when he's sleeping. well, he's attractive when he's awake, too, but this psycho behavior combined with his rape fantasies or at least that's what I think it is with his do-stuff-to-a-sleeping/unconscious-person is okay with us. each couple is different, so decide for yourselves how to resolve it. it isn't normal or not normal depending on what your sexual desires are, so one couple might be comfortable with occasion sex while another isn't okay with it,etc.
Sex in a relationship is like a bike, sure it rides great when you first get it but if you don't keep the maintenance up, it will slowly fall apart.
maybe they should introduce new things to the bedroom together, it shouldn't be her having to do all the work, after the initial action.
there has to be something going on with him emotionally thats having him shut down!
they should go to sex shops, classes, and get gag gifts for each other and have some fun!
Try new things in bed, use toys, role play....go out and act like you just met ;)
It's normal and incredibly frustrating. We try mixing it up. Buying something slutty, or interesting. Trying something we haven't before.