I've been talking to a friend who's just found out that the guy she's been interested in the last few months (and who had made some moves on her over the weekend) wishes to keep their relationship platonic due to him being in the air force and having to leave town in a couple months. She took it hard, having developed some pretty heavy feelings for the dude.
While I sympathize with her, as being rejected is no easy feat, I can't help wondering if I'm approaching this sort of situation the wrong way.
We've all been in a situation where someone we're interested in may not necessarily be on the same level as us. As much as it hurts and regardless of how many times we tell them about our true feelings, it won't necessarily change their mind or how they feel about the situation. It isn't selfish. It's just what it is.
We've all probably been in the reverse situation too--where someone was very much interested in us, but we simply didn't feel the same way... or didn't feel it was a good idea to get into a relationship at the time.
She was a bit hurt that he decided this on his own without really discussing with her how she may feel about the situation. She knows she couldn't change his mind, but I guess she wanted to at least let her feelings be known.
I remember when I was first broken up with, I was upset that he didn't talk to me about it. It seemed very out of the blue too. He simply decided that we were no more and what do you say to that? If a mind's been made up, it's awfully hard to change.
I think what's a strange concept to get around is the idea that the other person can end a potential source of happiness just like that and depending on the relationship, you may not ever know why. It could be out of left field or a long time coming, but it could happen. That's a very scary thing to accept walking into the dating game, I think.
The way I see it, it's just another experience. If it were me, I'd simply remember that I've liked people in the past and have gotten over them in the past and nothing would stop me from doing the same now. I wouldn't necessarily view it as a be all end, all kind of thing--regardless of how much I would have liked the guy.
I guess what I want to know is, how do you cope with these sorts of situations--be it unrequited love, rejection, or break ups? What are your views on them?