Sexuality isn't a spectrum of Gay or Not Gay and maybe you're bi inbetween by choice, it's much more fluid than that. You can be attracted to men and women but not be openly bi to other people (society has a hard time swallowing sexuality, it's "Taboo" even when it's vanilla and straight sex which is far more accepted.) It also has to do where you are in life, how open you are to accepting these feelings within yourself and who you are willing to open up to. It's much harder for people to come out as bi because some communities don't accept the term as a type of sexuality-- the wording "turn bi" or "choose to be bi" is fallacious because this assumes that the person was always straight just because they chose partners that were of the same gender previously. 

@pnrj@xanga - This may not be how sexual orientation works.  However, this may be how people may experiment with their sexuality.  Everyone is different and has their own preferences and concepts about sex.  There are people who have sex with both sexes merely because it's pleasurable, not necessarily because of a certain label they consider themselves to be.  And so on and so forth with all the other "labels" and self definitions out there. 

Blue Skye - I definitely understand how you're interpreting what Usher is saying.  It's definitely not something painfully literal.  He's oversimplifying becauseof the "simple" solution.  And that is for men to try harder as much as women are worth. 

i think i've learned to pick out which posts are yours based on the title alone. 

@winterEnds@xanga - so i think you're agreeing with @AmorVomnia7@xanga, right?  he's saying that women don't deserve special treatment, and you're saying that all people should be treated as individuals, and not part of a group. 

my budget for my first two dates with any girl is $6.

Seriously?

I don't think it's necessary or productive to police people's sexual orientations, and that includes their individual reasons, experiences, and timetables.  I prefer to just go along with whatever labels they presently decide upon for themselves, even if those labels have changed.

he absolutely deserved the backlash he got for saying this.
this is just a grossly sexist, homophobic thing to say.
all people deserve respectful treatment, but it has nothing to do with gender.
a woman doesn't choose to be a lesbian or bi because men aren't manly enough, that doesn't even make sense. if they wanted someone butch, okay, find a masculine man or woman, but you're saying it's because there's something wrong with men being feminine it sounds like, or because men are all the same. both wrong.
women choose or are there sexuality for a number of reasons. most don't actually involve men.
not everything a woman does is because of men, it's not the sole motivator, and it's grossly misogynistic to assume it is.

@pnrj@xanga - Read what @JustTheseWords@xanga said about my understanding of it.

This has nothing to do with saying it's a choice. At all. Ever. Everevereverever. Those who got that out of my posts have missed the point, as per usual.

It's me pointing out that some women (keyword: some, or rather a few) move on to women after the men started failing. I have heard and seen something like that happening. Even saw some kind of threat like that on Mancouch. (My defense was if you are going to threaten to be a lesbian because we are a little hard to swallow, you probably were never straight to begin with. That or they should really toughen their skin.)

I didn't say that in order to sway a lesbian you have to be a better man. We KNOW that's a stupid conclusion. I AM saying that perhaps we need to be a little better because there are women who suddenly turn lesbian because of some of the things we do. And while we are on the subject of "turning lesbian", if there is anyone who treat it like switching from team to team, it's them. Why can't they just come to grips with the idea that they might be bisexual from the get go? After all, it's not like things are going to completely change just because you changed teams.

@TakingxOverxMe@xanga - Look, I know we haven't really been seeing eye-to-eye on my posts. I try to decode the little nuances of man-women intereaction that is hardly ever covered, and you often disagree with my observations. Let's just agree to disagree on the fact that you aren't happy about my need to use Datingish to talk about those little minutiaes of dating, especially when it come to my Renaissance-like hunger to rid this world of the whole dating double standard.

Now, I don't know what problem you may carry of this post, but I'll assure you everything I wrote here was well-thought-out and, yet again, based upon both my observations and a good idea of what context he means by what he says. I assume Usher wasn't dumb enough to think the reason there are lesbians was literally because there aren't enough men on earth I think he knew what he was trying to say, and we took him kind of wrong. If everyone stopped taking shit at face value and really thinks about what the speaker is trying to say, I bet there would be less beef between comment and reader.

@RealistFantasies@xanga - It all depends on not only context, but what he has observed amongst women. I can't say I knew exactly what was his point in saying that, but my point here was assuming that he wasn't trying to be a dumbass and chalk it up to population, machismo or a supposed sexual potentcy men hold. I assumed by men, he was trying to differentiate a man and a boy.

@mynameisblueskye@xanga - but by saying that it's because of the difference between a man and a boy, he's giving all sexual power to men and that's not okay. he's saying that all of women's decisions sexually rest on men.

Hi, I think I know what your getting at but I don't understand what you mean, and how you differentiate between "being bi" and "turning bi." From my experience, and I do have it, being/turning are just two stages along one path, you can't be one without the other.

i would never turn gay no matter how a guy was trying me.. sure we may think sometimes about
being with someone who truly understands us, but it doesn't mean that i would do that. there aren't
enough good men out there

Who the heck cares what the heck Usher means? 

Even people who are only attracted to one sex would probably change if they were put in a different environment. In all-girl schools, girls develop crushes, nuns start to like other nuns in convents, and in jail people's urges sometimes overcome their straightness.