So, this morning was like any other day, or so I thought. My mom's car was in the shop, so the neighbor took the kids to school. I figured I would treat myself to breakfast before work at my fav restaurant, Gigi's. I got dressed, did my hair, grabbed all my work stuff and headed out to take the bus to get there.
I sit down, put in my order and figured that while waiting, I would read my book. Not even 10 minutes after ordering, my cebf (crazy ex-boyfriend) shows up. He prattles on about how he wants to come back to me, how he tried to find someone similar and how it didn't work.
He even asked me if I was happy with my current relationship, how often we see each other and a whole bunch of other stuff that isn't his place to be asking or knowing. I didn't answer anything he asked, I just continued to read my book and eat my breakfast when it finally came.
Eventually he gave up and left. But to be honest, it left me kinda shook up. I can read him pretty well and let's just say that his mind is shot. Gone. I don't know what he's been up to, but I can tell you that whatever it is, it won't last too much longer--he will either snap or end up dead at the rate he's going.
At any rate, I told the current boyfriend on the grounds that if this bama is crazy enough to show up on me like he did, then he may be crazy enough to show up on my honey. Reasonable thought, right? Yeah, I thought so too.
The SO gets mad at me for not getting up when he sat down, mind you I didn't invite him to invade my space. Then he says that I should stop responding to him. Tried that already and it didn't work; in fact, it made things worse! My SO then says "Fuck it, have a great rest of the day... I'm out. It is what it is, smh" and that was that.
Okay so where the hell did I go wrong?
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Comments (28)
Seems like you attract the crazies lol
You didn't go wrong. It looks like this guy is a crazy current boyfriend. I say dump him too!
You did nothing wrong. What were you supposed to do??? @_@ Jeez. If you had got up and let all your food you just bought and walked out alone just to give him the opportunity to follow you, when he is crazzzzyyyy.... serious?! Your boyfriend is thinking too much. You're good. Right. He is wrong.
You did nothing wrong. If you'd walked, he'd probably have followed then, what? Your bf would have asked why you didn't kill him? Beat him? Call the cops? There are some guys who can't handle the ex. They are too insecure in the relationship or they are just too "anti-drama" they can't handle psycho exs and will take it out on the girl or guy who is trying to move on. Don't let it get to you, no matter how you handled it, he would have been upset.
Your boyfriend is too insecure. Prime ingredient for a miserable relationship.
You went wrong by assuming your man was mature enough to handle an adult relationship. It's okay. It's called a life lesson. Now you know what to do next time. Obviously, your boyfriend is insecure and claims to want honesty, but probably only if it's what he wants to hear. In relationships, I do try to be a decent person, but significant others can make that very difficult sometimes. So I have my own rule. If you can't handle the truth, I am going to lie to you. If you catch me in a lie, I am going to tell you that I lied because you can't handle the truth. Either way, I win.
yeah in the future, we should all keep in touch with our exes so that we can make sure we tell that person not to do that ever again.
You didn't do anything wrong! Your current SO sounds just as immature as your ex - he needs to be able to handle the fact that you have a past, and it's hardly your fault your ex turned crazy, lol.
Without knowing all of the history, perhaps you need to find another place to eat; one that your ex doesn't yet know about. As for the SO, who knows what guys really think. On a different note, I listen to 96.5 on my way to work in the am and they have a segment called "busted"; a person calls in claiming they think their SO is cheating on them and the radio hosts do a crank call to invite the person to have a free no strings attached free dinner or night at a hotel and inevitably the person gives the name of his "guest" as someone other than their SO. I'm sure the only ones that get played on the radio are those that are "busted" but it never seems to surprise me. Maybe your SO wants a way out and you happened to give it to him thinking you were doing the right thing. You just never know what people's motives are for what they do. Good Luck!
wait what? how did he know you were at the restuarant and why did you use a picture from American Psycho? lmao i am so confused??? i didn't hear anything crazy from this except him being where you went to eat and you saying 'he'll end up dead' which was weird.
Scaaaaary! Leaving aside your dick of a current boyfriend, you should be on the look out for your crazy ex. DO NOT IGNORE YOUR GUT!!!! If your ex is acting crazy then he's acting crazy, DEFINITELY stalking you and maybe he might do something bad.
Call the Domestic Abuse Hotline (1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-799-SAFE) and stop hanging out at your favorite spots where your crazy ex knows where to find you. Does he know your address too? You might have to get a restraining order on him and move yourself to a location that he can't find. Don't want to be scaring you here, but you just described a situation which often ends up with the girl dead and the boy in custody. Be vigilant!
I think your SO is just angry at the fact that your ex was talking to you. You did nothing wrong, and you shouldn't have to change your life around just because your crazy ex is being... crazy. If anything, it was RIGHT to tell your SO about what happened. Better than having him hear about it from a friend or someone random, who might lie and say you two were having breakfast (since it might look that way from afar).
I've been in your SO's shoes. I've gotten angry about things like this and after talking about it and arguing and thinking, I realized as long as my BF does nothing wrong, then I shouldn't get angry. If anything, maybe your SO should give him a "stern talking to" if CEBF (totally using that from now on) keeps bothering you.
@forsakenchild@xanga - that's horrible! I'd rather tell my SO that they can't handle the truth and hit 'em with the facts than to lie. Why would you continue to lie instead of get things clear with each other? You can't grow with each other if you just avoid situations rather than try to fix things.
My current bf does that. He pulls the whole "I didn't tell you cuz I knew you'd get mad for no reason" crap and then I go off the walls. Now when he tells me the truth I try to calm down or I at least go off about how whore-ing the girl that's jumping up on him is being. Like I said in my other comment, as long as he didn't do anything wrong and there's no proof that he did do something wrong, then I won't go crazy or start a fight. There's no reason to.
The girl clearly stated the only reason she told the current SO was to cover herself in the case that the ex sought out her boyfriend and then she would have to explain why she omitted seeing the ex. That's ridiculous. Possessive and jealous people bring everything they get onto themselves and they deserve it. The fact is people who cannot handle the truth get lied to a lot. Lying avoids unnecessary arguments. Why ruin a nice day with an argument? Love is a game. People who don't realize that, are probably losing. Think about it. If this girl's man played the situation differently, such as making sure she was okay and not being a dick, she wouldn't have been so pissed as to post this blog and would be singing his praises to her friends about how amazing and understanding he was. Actually, his actions may even push her back to the ex. The ex is a moron too because if he had a brain, he would have said "hello", been respectful, and wished her luck with the new guy hoping she would tell the current SO that she saw him. Why? Playing the averages. Most guys don't deal with the ex boyfriend situation very well. The current SO would still have had the same reaction and shot himself in the foot no matter what transpired in the restaurant. He would have still been angry if she whipped her pancakes off of his face as soon as she saw him and stormed out. Let's face it. He was just pissed that she had contact with the ex in general. He probably didn't even hear anything after "So I ran into my ex today..." Your opinion differs from mine. It doesn't mean that I'm wrong. It just means we have different ideas on what constitutes an enjoyable existence. Then again, I never said lying wasn't horrible, but it is a means to an end and I fully endorse it. @xplode_2day@xanga -
@forsakenchild@xanga - can't we all just get along without having to clarify that we are entitled to our own opinions? I never said you were wrong, I just said what I'd rather do in such situations, which is why our opinions differ. i agree with you completely on everything else. looking at the title of this post, her current SO probably flips out a lot. if you can't talk it out and change things... then sorry to say you're better off leaving them.
sheesh. people are so touchy on here...
I apologize if I came off as being touchy, but the first two words of your reply to my comment were "That's horrible!" It made me re-read my comment and I just thought I needed to clarify what I meant. I wasn't trying to be critical of you or your point of view at all, and I didn't mean to offend you. Sorry. @xplode_2day@xanga -
@forsakenchild@xanga - it's all gooood. i stopped reading things on this site and other xanga sites because all that happened in the comments section was stupid fights about people who overreacted to simple things. now that i'm back i feel like i need to wear a helmet and carry a weapon...
you're fine; men r cray. follow yo heart girl
you didn't go wrong anywhere. you're current boyfriend might just be crazy like your last ex & proved why he too, is an asshole.
well, that's just relationships.
You did absolutely nothing wrong. Your SO is taking the anger he has of your crazy ex, not leaving you alone, out on you. He's also probably upset that the ex is crazy and can't leave you alone. Males do mature a lot slower than females. Your SO is just being immature.
It sounds like your SO is just mad at your CEBF! I don't think you did anything wrong. I would have told my boyfriend this kind of information also. Well, you wrote this on Saturday...how are things now?
Wow! I you current SO is probably WAY TOO insecure, has secrets of his own (thus way to touchy on certain subjects), or maybe he's angry he can't control the situation...whatever the reason, I think it might be time to move on from this guy.
you went wron when you started dating crazy a** holes.