Thursday, 14 June 2012
I've never had an orgasm.
If I were male, this would be cause for shock. But I'm a woman. So my orgasm-less state, despite the fact that I've been sexually active in some way for 4 years, is considered normal.
Which, all things considered, is really unfortunate.
Some women orgasm extremely easily. In one Sex And The City episode, Samantha becomes upset when she 'loses her orgasm' after not having it once, because she always does otherwise. I have a friend who is waiting until marriage, and will only touch or be touched above clothes. She's had an orgasm.
A small part of me hates them both.
Through a cruel trick of nature, the female orgasm is elusive. Elusive enough to be covered in a popular TV show. Elusive enough that June's Cosmopolitan had a feature showcasing some women's no-fail orgasm tricks. Elusive enough that there are multiple classes that teach women how to reach 'orgasm.'
Elusive enough that I, after 4 years of trying, still can't get there.
Some of it is me. I try to have an orgasm, therefore I can't. Some of it is my partners. Many boys in their teens are not overly concerned with their partners' satisfaction. And when one guy I slept with wanted to stop because he was tired, before he came, I was shocked. My ex would never have done that - sex was over when he was finished. Not that he didn't try to get me there, too. It just never worked.
But a lot of it has to do with the fact that society has taught me that the female orgasm is like dessert. The male orgasm is the main course - necessary to the meal. The female orgasm is great when it comes, but eh. We could do without. So a guy who can't orgasm is concerning, but a woman who can't is normal. Which, for me anyway, kind of sucks. I enjoy sex, of course. But it'd be nice to reach the big O, to experience this 'height of pleasure' and see what all the big fuss is.
What do you think? If you're female, how long did it take before you had an orgasm? Is a female orgasm necessary for you to enjoy sex?