Well, look who found himself a comfortable cubby between the relationships and the friend zone?
After another bored stroll through the often correct and incorrect waters of Wikipedia, I was looking up various amounts of friends and relationships. The very last search I did in the relationships category not only caught my interest, but also described how I am most of the time:
a romantic friend.
For those who don't know what a romantic friend is,
it's a friend of yours that you flirt with, hug, cuddle with, say "I love you" to... basically a romantic friend is someone who treats you like a girlfriend or a boyfriend with the exception of having sex, and maybe kissing.
The reason this term interested me is for two reasons:
1. Because I have had one of those moments in the past where I may have been just a friend, but some of the women friends I had, treated me pretty much like the second boyfriend. Back then, they called it either being in the friend zone or being the maintenance man, which I will discuss later.
Anyway, I found it as peculiar as I did interesting that I settled into the role of being a romantic friend to plenty of my girlfriends. Whenever they need a boyfriend or someone to tell them they are beautiful or anything of that nature, it seems like I am always there to play both roles of a friend and somewhat a boyfriend.
It's not something you are supposed to do as a friend, but no one I knew had any complaints.
2. Because it feels like in the days where people are marrying, pairing up and breaking up, a romantic friendship feels like one of the truest loves left. Think about it. These days, people are trying to marry quickly and breakup after a couple of weeks or months. The institution of marriage is only being destroyed by poor understanding of the partner, impatience to work out personal problems or poor pairing of the couple. Heck, a few celebrities pair up for what seems like the publicity sometimes.
Anyway, a friend is a true friend by your side for life. Him or her flirting with you, telling him he loves you, or doing most of the stuff that a boyfriend would usually do... that could just be the gateway to something promising for both parties, if they cared enough to stick the romantic gestures out. You know?
What are your thoughts on the whole "romantic friendship" thing?(
Image Source)
True
Comments (24)
I first heard of something similar in the romantic drama film The Mirror Has Two Faces starring Barbara Streisand and Jeff Bridges. The two main characters actually agree to a platonic marriage, but due to their romantic feelings the sexual component becomes hard to avoid and ignoring it causes problems.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mirror_Has_Two_Faces
I kinda had two of them (only for a short while, like several weeks) before they returned to regular friendships. It involved mainly holding hands in both, but one of them was when she kissed me while I was drunk. *shrugs* Both are in long, lasting relationships at the moment.
Ooh this is the perfect description of a relationship I have at the moment! We are friends but cuddle and hang out and say nice things like we are bf/gf but we aren't together and we don't sleep together.
I know that if I had a friend that did things like this, my fiance would promptly punch him in the face. :D
like being a romantic friendslut? how about no.
No.
rent a cuddle buddy
only if he looks like the korean actor/model, dennis oh
I was merely watching vids of dennis oh and there were times that I had to close the browser window because I can't stand it anymore due to wanting him badly but I can't have him
if a cuddle buddy looked like him, I don't know how I'd react, fight or flight. it would be sad if he was near me and I was so nervous that I fled the scene and hid behind the tree like the shy twerp charlie brown while the other girls mobbed him.
this describes me and my best bud perfectly! And it worked for us.. Well, up until 8yrs ago when we each married other people.. but we are still super close and we have known each other for 15 years.
I love romantic friendships! I prefer to have mine with girls, though. It's a pure and innocent affection that you can feel free to express with words, cuddling, even holding hands.
Actually, as this is the way I see other women, I can't help but view lesbians as somehow 'corrupting' this pure relationship with sex. ^^;; I'm not proud of this, of course!
I wouldn't really want a romantic friendship with most guys as there would probably be some sexual aspect involved, too (either I would be interested in them or feel awkward and repulsed because I'm not interested and they are). :/
If you're both single, fine, it's not a problem, but if one of you is in a relationship, it borders on cheating and is really unacceptable. If I was in a relationship and found out my partner was being like this with another girl, I'd probably end the relationship. There are some things you just shouldn't be doing while you're committed to someone else.
Even as a gay man, I have trouble believing that friendships like this are as sincere & "even" as you're making them sound. I might hug or occasionally give a kiss on the cheek to my girl friends, but that's it. And I definitely don't think a straight guy would do the other things (flirting, cuddling, giving gifts) unless he felt something *more* than just friendship.
To me, this seems to be something only women seem to be able to do.
I did that while I was in a relationship. I ended up having feelings for that romantic friend, and now he is my boyfriend. I don't think it can really work if one is in a relationship, but that's my own opinion, and it obviously didn't work for me. Also, I'm far too jealous for him to have a romantic friendship with someone else. But... to each his own.
I bet this is what relationships were like in the early stages before people started having sex on the first date. I bet people wouldn't need romantic friends as much if their actual relationships didn't reduce so quickly to their gonads :P What an interesting form of specialization!
*shrug* I do this with a few people, both men and women, I just call them my "littler mates." I don't have any real brothers and sisters, so it's kinda funny. People get really confused 'cause I say stuff like "My sis went to put her face on." or "Hey my brother has that shirt!" :D
there's no such thing. eventually someone gets hurt or wants more than the other can give. everything goes to hell from there.
this comes from current experience. any ideas how to not be #2?
I think once you hit this stage, you should really define the relationship. I dont have any problem with a friendship becoming and blossoming into a good relationship, but I smell trouble when such a relationship is not defined. Defining a relationship sets commitment and boundaries. How crushed would you be if your friend suddenly was going out with someone else? I would feel horrible; yet not defining the relationship almost doesn't give you any right to feel that way. Just too many problems. However, I am all for friendships, even if most girls dont seem to like the idea. I think the older I get, now 29, I see the fallacy in not being friends with the opposite gender, it really limits the vitality and diversity in ones life to only have same-sex friends (note: I am also Christian, so I know it is different in mainstream culture from Christian circles).
I'm currently somewhat in this predicament. This is how my ex and I started out, as real close friends and then we developed feelings for each other. But then I broke up with her and now over a year later I find myself wanting to get back with her. But now she has this romantic friendship with one of my closest (used to be) friends. And now I'm having a real hard time trying to get her back because of this relationship he and her have. I knew that this was going to happen when they started becoming close..
@monkie_dance@xanga - What do you mean by not to not be #2?
@youthinasia613@xanga - I have the same Mashimaro except mine has a yellow hat with lots of different colored dots on the clothing :3
Haha, I wouldn't like this. I'm pretty paranoid so I'm pretty sure I would never feel at ease doing this if I wasn't 100% sure my guy was feeling the love as much as I was. That doesn't mean we'd have to talk about it, but I would have to get a feeling for safety from him, and if he dated someone else while we were 'romantic friends' I'd be incredibly hurt.
WOW, THERE'S A TERM FOR ME AND MY BEST FRIEND?
IT SUCKS. A LOT. (Possibly because I'm still in love with him and he knows it... herp.)
bad idea for friends...there's really nothing good about romantic + friendship.
I have a romantic friend but I'm not sure how I feel about it. I sit on his lap, he gives me a kiss on the cheek/head whenever we part ways and there's nothing sexual going on.
I am currently dating my best friend and it's the best thing that has ever happened to me