It's a long story, so I don't quite know where to start....
When I first started dating my boyfriend, he told me that he had some credit card debts.... It was a significant amount--one that needed to be cleared before we could continue with our lives. I told him that he could only propose after he had paid off all his debts, not only for motivation but for him to show that he really wanted to be with me. At that time, he told me that it would take a maximum of two years to pay off.
A few months later, I moved overseas, and him being him, followed me here. We lived quite frugally as we were both on a low salary and he needed to use most of his salary to pay for the debts.
He required a credit card for his job as it required a lot of expenses. I agreed, but asked him to promise not to occur any further debts; spend money on what you cannot afford and nothing more, it was so simple. He knows how much I hate that he has a debt, but that was the past and this is now.
And so it continued, we lived overseas for nine months. Then, I decided that I should go back home to finish studying my Masters, which would take a year, we had a LDR, and survived.
Now I've recently moved back, and I asked him the same question, "how long until you pay everything off?" His answer was the same "two years." Two years ago, you said two years and now two years later you say two years again? I asked him to work everything out and indeed, this time it would take two years to pay off. I am quite happy with that amount of time as we still have our careers to pursue.
Then during Easter, he went to Japan for an important family event. He assured me that he could afford it.
Recently, I asked him randomly, have you been paying off your credit card? His answer, was a resounding "no." The personal expenses in Japan could not be paid for. Not only did he have personal expenses, but he had spent a large amount of money on "something" that he could not tell me.
I have a fair idea that this "something" is an engagement ring. We have been together for a little over two years. He knows that incurring a debt, for me, is worse than cheating.
I just can't get over the fact that he risked our relationship over an engagement ring. Why couldn't he wait another two years?
What would you do in a situation like this? You ask a person to make one promise; and he/she breaks it.