Back when I had an active OkCupid account, I'd run across a profile or five that would say they were in a relationship but the member was online within the last week. Other profiles would say they were only looking for friends or long-distance pen pals.
When my ex and I first started dating, he said he kept his profile mainly to "troll" or keep in touch with interesting conversationalists. I didn't mind so much because he was listed as "in a relationship" and I trusted him.
My roommate met her current boyfriend on the dating site and was more than peeved when she saw he was still logging in and listed as "single" months after they started dating.
I always thought that those who created profiles on dating sites just to meet friends were more those who didn't want to rule out relationships completely but also didn't want anything resembling a commitment right away (but they didn't want to check "casual sex" under "what I'm looking for" either). Murky grounds they be.
Would you ever join a dating website merely to find new people without any motive to date them? What do you think of those who do join dating sites seeking platonic friendships? Would you be upset if your new SO continued to peruse a dating site? (
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In some cases, joining a dating site may be a good way to meet local people in your area and expand your social network. On the other hand, you often have to pay for these services so you might as well find more cost-effective ways of doing that.
My husband still has an account with perfectmatch but never logs on and never even put up a picture or filled any of the information out. He was just playing with it before we met. I used to use Hotornot to meet people and when I'd be in a relationship, I'd switch it to lesbian until I was single again. Now, I have it inactive and no picture up but it's still there because I didn't feel like deleting it plus my husband told me not to delete it fully, he didn't mind if I still had it or not because he knows I'm not going to cheat plus I met a few friends on it. As long as it is used strictly platonic and it's listed that the person is in a relationship, it shouldn't really matter.
no, I'd like to become friends with my crushes from work
their dreaminess is more than I can handle, so I'll pass on meeting new people online. I feel overwhelmed of the fantasy image that I have of them when they might actually be jerks or have something that annoys me, so once we become friends, I might lose that dreamy feeling or I might crush on them harder
different things work for different people, so whatever works and they feel comfortable doing. yep, I'd be upset.
It seems a little deceiving to do so. You can meet people on sites for friendship and similar interests you dont need to use dating sites.
Keeping your profile on a dating site while in a relationship means the person is looking for someone better than you. Looking for “friends” on a dating site?? cmon..please, people. More like they are looking for “special friends”
I have never joined these sites but perhaps there should be a categorical site, if there isn't already. Kinda like porn sites where you choose an interest. Except it will be a general site where you can click one for serious dating, hook up, friendships, etc. So that you're looking in the right direction. People should just be honest I say.
I've done it.
Well, I made my OkCupid to take quizzes back in the day. Then I filled it out in hopes of conversation with and making friends with people I wouldn't meet otherwise while dating my boyfriend. I listed myself as "In a Relationship," turned "Looking for" to "Penpals and Friends," and posted a notice at the top of my profile that I wasn't interested in anything non-platonic.
So yes, it does happen. ;) I think the "why" varies a lot between people - I just like meeting new people, so I used it accordingly.
I still had it back when i was with my last ex, but I didn't log in. When we had relationship problems I logged in there to talk to some people about it and also to see if it was worth exploring my options back then. I don't know about my ex back then, I didn't check his profile.
In today's world, you can do whatever you want. I believe OKCupid allows you to do it all.
No, but I haven't deleted my accounts on dating sites since my boyfriend and I got back together. Although I'm now marked as 'In a relationship' or 'Seeing someone' or whatever, I still get more messages from guys hoping for a romantic relationship than a pure friendship. I only ever log on when I get sent a message, and even then only sometimes.
well when i was with my long distance bf i kept an okc account. i wasn't gonna meet anyone and didn't for a year. i was lonely and was looking for attention. i chatted with a lot of dudes and it was not completely innocent.
Eh, I'm not into dating sites. I never had the inclination to join a dating site either. My boyfriend used to go on dating sites and met a few girls. It didn't work out with any of them, though. He happened to see me walking around the college I attend (he's alumni of the same college) and he pursued me further a few months later on Facebook. It took him a while to figure out what my name was...it's a small word on Facebook!
These people are rarely ever really looking for friends. You want to know how I know? Because when you message them in a friendly non-romantic way and even go out of your way to mention something about their profile that you liked(meaning you actually read it), but they don't respond it begs the question if they didn't respond because they don't find you attractive. However if you are just looking for friends why would attraction matter? I have friends I'm not attracted to hence why they are friends.
I think a lot on this depends on the person and also the level of commitment. Personally, I desire a relationship if I am on a dating site but I am also a lot more weary of meeting someone online than in person. If I went out on a date one time, I would still be active but if I became her boyfriend and was in a relationship, I do not think I would be active on the site. I think that is highly inappropriate. But not everyone is like me.. and not everyone believes in monogamy nor want to makes commitments. Sometimes I think I want to rush into exclusivity myself. I see it as mostly a strength but sometimes I think it may make people seem either too needy or too eager.
Yeah, I deactivated my okcupid account every time I met someone, but they never did (the one did right after we had sex, but apparently that had nothing to do with me I later found out). No wonder I only was with each for 2 months, right. I felt by 2 months, they should know what they want with me and it wasn't a relationship.
I guess other people can do whatever they want, as long as they aren't misleading people. But IF I ever go back to using okcupid (and that is a huge if), I'm going to be more direct with some of these dudes so I'm not wasting my time. Keeping your dating profile up, and not at least expressing that you are seeing someone is wasting my time.