While searching for pictures for my article on the craziest places people have had sex, I came across this picture of the various definitions of a relationship status. This got me thinking about the
ever-important Facebook relationship status.
Yes, this has been
covered before, but I thought I'd put in my own two cents.
Now, I know that your relationship status on Facebook shouldn't affect how you feel about the relationship in real life. But for most of us who grew up in the Facebook generation, it does.
I was 'official' with my current boyfriend for about a week before we made it Facebook-official. But it wasn't until I saw the words "In A Relationship With __" staring me in the face that I thought to myself
Oh. This is actually happening.On a more narcissistic level, there's an ego boost that comes with changing your relationship status. This might be more of a girl thing. But, whenever I change my relationship status, my friends like the status and congratulate me (and of course, I do the same for them). They do the same thing when I tell them in person, but
having the physical evidence staring me in the face is just so much more satisfying. It's also a great way to catch up with old friends who say, "Congrats!! By the way, how are you? It's been ages!"
And sometimes, the Facebook relationship status actually does matter, especially if either one of you is on the more promiscuous side. Facebook-official is a public declaration of your togetherness. Where else are you going to find the fact that you are in a committed relationship written down somewhere, unless it's a marriage license? Facebook-official says to other people, and by other people I mean those who might go after your S/O, "We're happily unavailable. Back off."
Of course, not everybody agrees with this. I certainly have friends that think the difference between regular-official and Facebook-official shouldn't matter. I'm OK with not having our relationship on Facebook, but I feel more comfortable with it there. And if your S/O refuses to take down his/her "Single" status, you should probably rethink your relationship.
What do you think? How much does Facebook-official matter?Image Source
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Comments (44)
Sadly it matters a lot. Whether it be to set your partner at ease, affirm for yourself, or to keep others away. I don't really like putting it up because it feels pretentious to me, similar reason I never introduce my girlfriend like "hey this is my girlfriend." I just introduce her by her name. But I've had issues with relations in the past where they complain and get really upset that I hadn't changed it to in a relationship because they felt I was using it to appear single and get other girls to want me.
Similarly I've changed it to married or in a relationship while single in order to keep people away. Strange how a little thing on an internet site can affect people's actions so much.
My friends and I joke about the silliness of the importance of Facebook relationship status. People who really care about you, know and love you, they would already know what your official relationship status is. They wouldn't need Facebook to confirm it. Recently 2 friends got married and we all joked that the bride needed to change her last name on Facebook and link to her spouse as "married" to be "official."
Side note: I do think people who change their relationship status more than 3 times in a month should really consider leaving that piece of information off of their page.
I personally think people should only use that if they're officially married. While they're in a relationship people shouldn't use it or if they know it's long term it's ok. I would probably put just in a relationship not with who. One time i put facebook official with one of my exes and his crazy psycho ex was stalking me for the 3 days i was with him. that ended fairly quickly when he didn't even bother to defend me. i have a zero tolerance for people's exes.
I have that I am in a relationship, but my boyfriend doesn't list anything at all. I don't think it matters what you put, but it's my personal preference to have all the fields filled out. I use facebook to keep in touch with my friends and I suspect they do the same for me, and the fact that I am in a relationship is a valid part of my life.
my guy is possessive and will post lovey dovey comments on my social network page to show that we're together. I barely post anything on his page, but he set his page to private, so it isn't like anyone else will know, not like he doesn't know that I like him, since I already showed him my love in other ways apart from the public profile. the other guys see his comments and still post their comments. however, I barely even check my page, but I know that I get comments since I get email alerts, so I let them post whatever they want in their own little territory battle. I think this schoolboy drama is quite adorable and funny that they are having comment wars. I think they might have ocd. I don't mind it because I'm possessive, too, and when he used to have his profile on the public setting, I was mad when these girls would post sexual comments regarding his pics. then I went to check out the girls page, who had a cleavage shot as her main profile pic and not even her face, and it was set to private, so I can't see if he posted anything flirty on her pics, too. I got over that insanity. he enjoyed my jealousy though. his turn to be jealous
I think people who think being Facebook official is extremely important are idiots.
My personal life is not anyone else's business unless I choose to make it so. I prefer not to have everyone know I am in a relationship; those who are important to me know if I am in a relationship with or without Facebook.
My boyfriend likes the idea of having a status up because he likes to brag about me to his friends (haha), but he didn't mind when I took my status down.
I think making it that important is kind of ridiculous. I don't even have a Facebook anymore. When I did, it said in a relationship for most the time I had it. I never thought it was that important though. As long as you know what you are and you're both committed to it, other people don't really matter.
It tends to be more of an ego boost, showing off the new SO in a way. Though not 100% of the time, it can be something to ward off those seeking that person.
To each their own. For some, it offers security about the relationship. For others, it's trivial.
It's very important. Some cherry tart wouldn't add me as her boyfriend so I ran away with a pineapple. Let that be a lesson to you.
I've had relationships where it was never FBO. I didn't mind it. However, I do like the idea of having a facebook official relationship. Is it important? No. Next time I'm in a relationship I would like to have it on facebook. It says he's mine, back off. Although maybe it's because I've been single so long I just want to show people that I'm not a total loser, haha.
well, i don't date 12 year olds, and i'm pretty sure they're the only ones who care, sooo no. i don't give a fuck. in fact, any girl who's *that* into facebook is someone in whom i'm not interested. i deleted my profile my senior year of college, anyway.
@sunflowersforlove@xanga - high five for non-facebookness!
I think FB official only complicates things... I once dated a guy with whom I didn't think the relationship would last, so i didn't think much of it and let my relationship status be "single." I think he got upset over this because I guess he thought the relationship was serious. I don't think FB relationships statuses(?) should matter so much, and just complicate things. So what if I don't want to show I'm in relationship to the entire world of facebook?
Like for example, if you post a lot of pictures of yourself at bars and drinking all the time; people will assume you are an alcoholic.
So its important to me that my SO puts that he is in a relationship.
Well, I have 2 profiles both say married. One is for friends and meeting new people, mainly other mothers preferably in my area. The problem is I met a lot of really cool people who live out of state or in other countries.. grrr. The other profile is for friends and family to keep updated on the progress of my daughter. The one for friends and family is linked to my husband (I wish the one with men and women I've never met would be linked so they'd know he's real because a few added me to hit on me then saw I was married- they quit respectfully immediately.) In cases where you use it to try to meet new friends, it is important if you're married or in a serious relationship. You can avoid being hit on and they know you're just about friendship. We tried as a social experiment taking down our marriage and a bunch of people flipped out on us for it so apparently it's pretty important with relatives and friends you don't see too often but I don't take it overly seriously. It's just a website and just a word.
He'd be 100% mine and I'd be 100% his no matter what our statuses said.
I think it only matters to the extent that it is a "physical" sign that your significant other is not ashamed to tell others he/she has any relation to you. I know it sounds really obvious/stupid, but my first boyfriend stayed "single" on Facebook for the entirety of our relationship and then used and broke up with me. Yeah, that should have been a warning sign, maybe. But I had previously thought it was because he didn't want the noise people make on Facebook when relationship statuses change.
Oh well, lesson learned.
If you put so much stock in a Facebook profile, you have a lot of growing up to do. Really, who cares?I leave mine blank - the whole world doesn't need to know my business. People need to find better things to than obsess over Facebook profiles. Get a hobby!
I think it matters because it's so insignificant, if that makes any sense. It just doesn't matter to me. I see no problem with making it "facebook official", with letting my friends know I'm happily in a relationship & having it out there, even if it doesn't work out & you're single a week later. It's all a part of life, & I want my loved ones to know what's going on in my life, as much as I want to know about theirs. But anyway, it's such a simple thing that it just feels so stupid to think twice about it. So I just do it. Whatever.
Lol I feel like facebook is our own personal reality TV shows.
Being FBO to gain security is useless. If someone is promiscuous and really wants to hide it, there is an option where you can select the people who can see your relationship status. He/she can select that only you will see it plus common friends who know about you. That way, he/she still appears single to other FB friends.
I don't think it's extremely important but I will confess that it would bother me if I were dating someone and they still listed themselves as single. I know that being "facebook official" doesn't keep people from cheating but I would wonder why they wouldn't want people to know they're in a relationship
I would be 3rd down from the right. And these are good symbols. I did adopt "Auntie" from Vietnam in Facebook. She's not my real Aunt, but I call her that and she likes it.
My friends and I make jokes about how nothing is official until it's on Facebook. When my brother got married, my sister-in-law said something about going downtown to get her name changed. We all told her, ahh, it's on Facebook! That's official enough! Joking around of course.
I keep my single status hidden so creepers don't creep on me. If I were in a relationship I'd still probably keep it hidden just because there is more to me than a relationship status.
my opinion is why not just do if if you're going to be on facebook anyway it takes too seconds. I understand the people who say they don't need a status to define their relationship but I like it because then I know whether or not to even bother hitting on someone haha. Also, not that is is always true, but if you are with me and have no shame in that, then why don't you want anyone else to know why not just change it. Heck I change it because I'm so happy about the relationship and that someone wants to be with me lol
I do get a kick out of being able to change my relationship status to "in a relationship." It's a way to let others know to back off, because I'm taken. However, I am currently single, so I just don't list my relationship status. That way, I can keep stalkers away. (I'm a performer, so that can be a problem at times, and they're usually people I would never consider relationship material.)
It's such a funny thing. The act of making it Facebook official is not that important itself. But it's so easy to do that when somebody doesn't, it makes you wonder why not. I would never have my status as single because I'm happily married. FB isn't that important to me, but I still want people to know I'm married. The timing of this post is funny, though, because a friend of ours recently changed her status from married to single, and we're all worried that she's getting a divorce. We'll see how that one goes I guess.