One of my best friends has managed to do what most would consider the impossible: she's remained best friends with an ex that broke her heart.
The two had a very close relationship, though saw themselves going in different directions. After breaking things off, the two took a couple weeks to regroup and were back to talking daily and seeing one another every couple weeks or so.
It's been a little over a year since the two have parted ways and they still remain as tight as ever. I've always envied their seamless transition from a relationship to being the best of friends. Her ex is now with someone else and the three of them seem to get along swimmingly.
Thought I'm on good terms with my ex, we don't necessarily have the strongest friendship. It's dwindled down to being mere acquaintances despite living less than a mile from one another. At least we're on good terms, though.
Are you still friends with any of your exes? Was it an easy transition or did you have to take some time apart before reconnecting and redefining your friendship? (
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I don't know, I hate to be this way, but I don't believe that they "get along swimmingly". I mean, can they really? I know that I wouldn't be okay with my boyfriend remaining "the best of friends" with someone that he dated for so long...
I'm still friends with all but one ex; one of them is also my best friend. It really depends on the people involved and if they can handle maintaining some form of civil contact after a big of their lives together.
1. No.
2. It was an easy transition.
"Let's be friends."
If I'm breaking up with them: "No. I already have friends. We both know that's not why we were close."
If they're breaking up with me: "Sure, if we're still having sex exclusively with each other on a regular basis and everything else. Otherwise, no."
Greedy people that want the best of both worlds with no commitment irritate me to no end... when they can't admit it, anyway. At least then I'd be able to avoid them and the ensuing heartbreak in the first place.
I'm not friends with any of my exes. They're too immature to maintain a friendship.
One's married now and has a baby on the way, if I try to message out of the blue he doesn't respond now. He probably thinks there's some sort of hidden agenda.
I have a very tight relationship with the person I'm currently seeing so I guess I wouldn't call him an "ex" since it's still going on. He's so close to me that he's even cried in front of me. Bet he hasn't cried in front of his guy friends.
The only one I talk to is my first love. Even that is limited. It took years to get over him fully although I think you will always love your first love in some way... think of them fondly ya know??? But other exes, I'm good. I was never their friend before so there was nothing there to salvage.
I'm friends with all my ex's. Not best friends, but when I see them I still say hi and hug them. It's never awkward. My most recent ex and I are not best friends, but we're more than just friends. We've settled for friends with benefits for now haha. We live long distance so even the benefits part is few and far between. The distance is also a major factor for why we broke up. When and if we do fully call it quits, I hope that we remain really awesome friends though. I love him to death, I love talking to him, and I think I've benefited a lot from all of the different relationships we've had with one another. I don't think we could ever be best friends because of the distance, but I think we could remain friends. The transition from boyfriend/girlfriend to friends was really difficult for about three months. It's been eight months now since we broke up and it's gotten a lot easier. I think the reason for breaking up and how it happened accounts a lot for if you can remain friends. We broke up due to distance, not knowing what we wanted out of life anymore, etc. Although he broke up with me I realized it was actually a good thing a few months down the road. Now if he had cheated on me, I wouldn't want him in my life at all.
she probably wants him around so that he might fall for her again and ask to get back together, then she can reject him and say that he broke up with her, so his loss forever
if I ever decided to stay friends with an ex, then that's probably what would happen. he'd hear all about the new guy that I'm with and wish that he was him, then try to win me back. so they are both enraged and rip their shirts off as they have a face to face warrior bloodbath battle
one of them wins the fight and then brings me a sunflower
I've always wanted to see tarzan versus tarzan
or jason momoa versus dennis oh
but get realllll
I tired and tried and tried because we both agreed to stay friends considering we had a 4 year friendship before we became a couple, but he never put in any effort.. Sooo, I gave up. I'm happy I ended up not staying friends with him, though. It was a blessing in disguise I guess you can say.
Absolutely! My first real love & I are still good friends - even after we called it quits. We had an odd & seamless transaction - much like your friend into just being best friends. Perhaps it's because neither of us cheated on the other or it was a mutual break up I don't know, all I know is while it did hurt for a long time since I still had feelings for him I ended up okay with how we are now. I couldn't imagine life without him in it!
@Saridactyl@xanga - I know it's hard to believe, isn't it? Apparently his new girlfriend is okay with the dynamic and they often hang out together without the beau. It's a very interesting thing to witness because it's one thing to maintain the kind of friendship they do after dating a year, but another to have new love interests not feel threatened by their dynamic and actually form a weird new group out of the whole thing.
@brittmichele - Good for them. It shows a lot of maturity to be able to do something like that. It's just rare because of all the factors that are involved. If neither of them have ulterior motives and are honest throughout the whole thing then I guess it could work... just not for me haha
I'm pretty good friends with an ex. He totally broke my heart a couple years ago. We were awkward acquaintances for a month or two and then we didn't speak for the next year. Eventually we decided to put everything behind us and we get along pretty well now. We talk to each other periodically, and when I'm in town we hang out fairly often. We are totally comfortable talking about good times from the past, and the bad, with no hard feelings. We give each other advice on current relationships. It works really well, and I'm glad we are friends.
For the most part, I'm friends with all of my exes. It really does depend on the people though. I think I've just dated very similar personalities that can handle break-ups in a mature fashion. Hooray?
It all depends on the relationship. I only had one other relationship besides my current one and it was a stupid two-month thing... I'm still friends with my ex because i had no feelings for him and he had no feelings for me during our relationship...just a high school thing haha.
But if I ever part with my current boyfriend, despite how badly I would want to have him in my life forever, I know that realistically we can never be friends. I consider him to be my first everything and I am the same to him.. being just friends would be painful and awkward
If there's no children involved, and it wasn't a short term relationship, that's just sketchy as hell. I wouldn't date a guy who was bff's with a serious ex gf just for no reason... probably just to keep tabs and rebound or hook up again if they felt necessary. After a serious relationship you break up and move on, keep the past in the past in respect to your future... (a new bf or gf)
NO, fuck them all! Staying their friend is letting them have their cake and eat it too. I am so sick of all the weepy "I can't live without you!" phone calls! Oh yeah? Then you shouldn't have broken my heart asswipe.
Honestly. I don't think it's as easy as she's making out. It's not easy to stay friends with an ex, and unless you've been friends with them for years or you were very close, I generally don't see the point. All it is is awkward, it gets people upset and it's just a waste of energy most of the time.
LOL, not friends with my ex-- fuck buddies? Yup.
my best bud and i had on-again-off-again relationship for almost 3 years. We have been through so much together.. but every time we tried to date, it just didn't work. So we'd go back to being friends.. the night before I left for college he told me he loved me and asked me to marry him. I said no... because even though I did love him, we were meant for different people. One of the hardest things Ive ever had to do was let him leave that night... but he called me just before I left for the airport and asked me if we were ok.. and i knew we would be... 2 years later I married my husband, and 6 months after that my best bud married his lovely wife.. and we are as close as always.
I don't really talk to my exes. Maybe it's because by the time we break up I just feel there's nothing there, but they usually annoy the shit out of me. A couple stalked me for awhile, which was fun.. I've just never really had an interest in staying friends, although being in school was the exception because I usually dated withing my clique.
I'm okay with my first ex, which means we were friends but have since drifted apart with distance. But I mean it would have happened despite our history anyway since long distance takes a lot of effort. My second ex and I are friends. I'd like to think we're pretty close.
I think it depends on the break up and the couple involved. My ex and I tried the whole friends after relationship thing but it didn't work out too well. We couldn't keep our hands off each other whenever we were together. He didn't want to be with me while he was away at school, but would try to get in my pants whenever he was home. Back then I was blind but now I know he was only using me. We haven't spoken in about 6 years and I'm completely ok with that.
Seems their feelings for each other weren't that deep to begin with if they can end it so easily.
I'm friends with my two ex-girlfriends. I'm not friends with my two ex-boyfriends, because like with Anon's experience, they're too immature to maintain friendships.
i haven't had a relationship, but i don't think i'll be able to do this when i do. it would hurt too much, and i just can't handle seeing someone i like/love with someone else. i'm too jealous. i'm not proud of that, but i've learned to accept that that's the way i am. that said, i think maybe if it was a relatively less serious relationship that didn't last very long and we just realized we'd be better as friends, then maybe i could handle it. i admire people who can handle this though.