This post has been submitted by Datingish reader, M.
Hi, I'm in my first year of uni now and sort of never dated. Well, it's complicated. I ended 'it,' but we started talking again and I sort of miss him. I'm just really confused and need some clarification, I guess.
Through a group outing, I met this boy who is finishing his last year of high school. He was fun and invited me several times to Skype with him and I did. I found myself having a crush on him. Then he asked me out and I obviously agreed to it. There was another planned outing in the week that he confessed. He said that could sorta be a date.
It was kinda awkward with our friends around but it was nice at the end. Obviously, I wanted a separate one with just us and so we planned one. A few days before that, he says he can't make it because his parent won't let him. I was disappointed but he couldn't help it so I let it go.
We continued to Skype and text and I really wanted to see him. He asked me out to his formal (two months from then), but I told him that I wasn't sure because of my exam period and that he should find someone to go with him. That was the first time he actually called me. I remember missing him A LOT but refrained from texting or calling because I didn't want to be clingy.
There was a public holiday coming up so he asked if I was free that day and we planned an official "first date." I was looking forward to seeing him. I was excited, until he told me a couple of days before that he won't make it because his mum won't let him and that he's got to study. I was very, very sad and disappointed but like always I said "it's okay."
Like the last date we planned, I went out to cheer myself up. What got me feeling worse was that he texted me telling me that there's a slim chance that we'll be on a date anytime soon because he's got exams. He continued to text to check up on me but I just ignored him. I was tired/annoyed/sad so I ended it.
Thinking about it, we were "together" for like 3 weeks.
Reasons as to why I ended "it" (I don't even know what to call that. We weren't "dating" Were we?):
For me it was hard to maintain a connection simply relying on Skype and text. I didn't feel like we were at the stage of gf/bf (although he called me his gf). I was really hoping for the date because I felt that it would get us closer. I got my hopes up each time we organized one but I was let down.
With HSC keeping him busy, I knew the date wasn't coming anytime soon. By the time we do get our date, we probably won't like each other anymore and so I ended it. I was really hoping for the date because I liked him. Also, my mum was right. When you crush on someone you feel happy when thinking about them. Once you date, you miss them and start to hurt a little bit.
Were we dating/bf/gf? Can I still say I've never dated? Was I selfish for ending it? Am I desperate?
Lately, we started Skyping again and I find myself thinking about him and missing him. He asked me to go to his formal but I refused and I think now he has a partner (gathered from reading his tweets). Sometimes I feel a sense of regret.
What should I be feeling? Did I make the right choice? What should I do?
Please help me.