This post has been submitted by Datingish reader, M.Hi, I'm in my first year of uni now and sort of never dated. Well, it's complicated. I ended 'it,' but we started talking again and I sort of miss him. I'm just really confused and need some clarification, I guess.
Through a group outing, I met this boy who is finishing his last year of high school. He was fun and invited me several times to Skype with him and I did. I found myself having a crush on him. Then he asked me out and I obviously agreed to it. There was another planned outing in the week that he confessed. He said that could sorta be a date.
It was kinda awkward with our friends around but it was nice at the end. Obviously, I wanted a separate one with just us and so we planned one. A few days before that, he says he can't make it because his parent won't let him. I was disappointed but he couldn't help it so I let it go.
We continued to Skype and text and I really wanted to see him. He asked me out to his formal (two months from then), but I told him that I wasn't sure because of my exam period and that he should find someone to go with him. That was the first time he actually called me. I remember missing him A LOT but refrained from texting or calling because I didn't want to be clingy.
There was a public holiday coming up so he asked if I was free that day and we planned an official "first date." I was looking forward to seeing him. I was excited, until he told me a couple of days before that he won't make it because his mum won't let him and that he's got to study. I was very, very sad and disappointed but like always I said "it's okay."
Like the last date we planned, I went out to cheer myself up. What got me feeling worse was that he texted me telling me that there's a slim chance that we'll be on a date anytime soon because he's got exams. He continued to text to check up on me but I just ignored him. I was tired/annoyed/sad so I ended it.
Thinking about it, we were "together" for like 3 weeks.
Reasons as to why I ended "it" (I don't even know what to call that. We weren't "dating" Were we?):
For me it was hard to maintain a connection simply relying on Skype and text. I didn't feel like we were at the stage of gf/bf (although he called me his gf). I was really hoping for the date because I felt that it would get us closer. I got my hopes up each time we organized one but I was let down.
With HSC keeping him busy, I knew the date wasn't coming anytime soon. By the time we do get our date, we probably won't like each other anymore and so I ended it. I was really hoping for the date because I liked him. Also, my mum was right. When you crush on someone you feel happy when thinking about them. Once you date, you miss them and start to hurt a little bit.
Were we dating/bf/gf? Can I still say I've never dated? Was I selfish for ending it? Am I desperate?
Lately, we started Skyping again and I find myself thinking about him and missing him. He asked me to go to his formal but I refused and I think now he has a partner (gathered from reading his tweets). Sometimes I feel a sense of regret.
What should I be feeling? Did I make the right choice? What should I do? Please help me.
(
Image Source)
Recommend
Comments (5)
this is not a relationship. this is not dating. you are not his girlfriend. you haven't even seen the guy irl (since the first time you met), is that right?
school is arguably the easiest time of your life to meet people. instead of pining away about this kid whose mom is being a huge cockblock, maybe you should meet one of the thousands of other guys with whom you go to school.
there's a bunch of cute guys at uni and you're crushing on this high school guy. he's a senior but if I'm in college, then I'd view him as "freshman" that is below me
you like who you like, so to each their own, but once I graduated high school, I left it all behind, so dating a h-schooler is never ever. I started to think of harry potter's british accent and imagined that geek reading this blog when you said mum
to answer your questions: no, yes, no, yes. this is easier than the scantron tests
feel free to date guys from uni
yes. celebrate with a pizza party.
You don't know what you got that was a boyfriend. Maybe you dont have anything to offer, maybe he doesn't have anything to offer either, without permission; It's just more relationship problems. Ask yourself, who would you rather be in your relationship Just you, or Two? Let him know you didn't understand and you want him to take another chance with you. Tell him you will wait if he needs you. Tell him, you miss him and you dont want to hurt for long time, if it could be avoided. So if, he is not willing to try again, if he could, hurry and break your heart, So you can heal. It would be better.
You didn't go on any real dates so no, you weren't dating. Maybe you'll get together after both of your have finished your exams, but until then, don't worry about him. :)
I wouldn't necessarily say you were dating because you've only met in person once, also it sounds like there wasn't much communication when you claimed to not want to text or call him to avoid seeming clingy. You didn't really get to experience the relationship at all and did not face many of the problems that come up in them. I don't think you were selfish at all; nor do I believe you're desperate. You weren't really enjoying the "relationship." My personal rule of thumb when it comes to dating is that once you stop enjoying it, it is probably time to consider ending it. You honestly liked the guy and it didn't turn out how you wanted. I think you have a sense of regret because of what might have been. No one can really tell you how you should be feeling because everyone handles their emotions differently. I do believe you made the right choice though. My boyfriend was a senior in high school my freshman year and that put a lot of stress on our relationship. His mother was also much like your guy's mom. We were only able to make it work because we had a stable relationship before I left for school. Yes, you had a crush and feel sad that it didn't work out but think of how great it would be to be able to feel the same way about someone else and actually be able to spend time with them. Eventually, you'll get another crush and be able to give dating another try. Just try to move forward with your life, maybe do something special for yourself and have fun :)