Monday, 04 June 2012
This article is inspired by this post.
When people hurt you, it's often not intentional. In my experience, people tend to take things personally (perhaps women even more so then men) and it's extremely important to remember that men aren't always trying to hurt women and vice versa. It's a lot easier to be inconsiderate than it is to be considerate, so sometimes we simply aren't thinking about how what we say might be perceived.
Smile4leena is right, it's necessary for your happiness and for your sex appeal to stay healthy. This is so key for everybody, young or old, man or woman. Take your body seriously! Find an exercise regimen that works for you and eat the foods that make your body feel replenished and energized (this means no skimping on the fruits and veggies!). Listen to your body and take days off when you see fit, but don't get lazy. You don't need to be a body builder or a marathon runner or the best golfer that ever lived, but you do need to stay active. Exercising produces endorphins in your body which will make you infinitely happier and it will show. It's easy to forget this, but your happiness is key to your partner's happiness. When you're unhappy, they probably are a little bit too.
As my father's always told me "you like what you like (and there's nothing you can do about it)." This pertains to pretty much anything and everything. You shouldn't have to explain to anyone why you're attracted to whomever you may be attracted to. It doesn't matter if you're gay and you're attracted to people who are tall and lean or if you're transgender and you love intellectuals. It doesn't matter if you love Dave Matthews Band and it doesn't matter if you don't. Don't let anyone discourage you about the things you like. You can't help what you enjoy and you can't help what you find attractive. If you meet someone who makes you feel bad about the things you are passionate about, they probably aren't the best person for you to date. It's not healthy to be put down all the time.
Learn to compromise. Relationships are hard work. The relationships that stand the test of time are filled with compromises. You shouldn't need to sacrifice the things that are most important to you, but you have to learn to be a little flexible. There will be nights where you want Mexican and she wants sushi. The more often the two of you can find ways to meet in the middle with the little things, the more likely you are to go the distance. If he's asking you to move across the country for him when your job is far more stable than his, you shouldn't be caving so easily. There will be times where you'll really have to talk it out, but it's not going to happen too many times. If you have a history of working together and compromising, the bigger decisions won't be quite so hard.
Communicate. It isn't enough to talk often. What you talk about and how you talk is just as important (if not more important). The sooner you learn to read each other, the better off you'll be. You will argue. That's just the nature of being with someone all the time and being so invested in each other's lives. What you need to do, however, is learn how your partner communicates his/her emotions. Some people shut down when they are upset or when they have arguments. Find out what your partner needs from you when they get in that place where they seem unreachable. You need to be the one person in your partner's world who can reach them. Talk about how you feel when you feel it. It will help you two to connect on a whole new level.
These are just a few of the things that I personally think are key to happier and healthier relationships. Remember, what works for you may not always work for everyone else. Find ways to make yourself happy, but remember to include your partner in achieving that happiness.