Finance professionals need to be organized for their jobs. But when this extends into their personal lives, extreme organization can cross the threshold from helpful to creepy.
Last month, Jezebel reported on Dave, a New York-based financial professional and avid Match.com dater. Dave kept an Excel spreadsheet of all his dates, including basic information, when he and the dates had communicated, "initial date status" and "initial date comments." The spreadsheet, which also included people he'd met through other mediums, was divided between "Monitor Closely" and "Monitor Casually," based on how much he liked each one. You can see the spreadsheet here.
Mildly creepy, but it's a useful idea - especially since Dave, in a follow-up interview with Jezebel, admitted that "it was an extraordinarily dumb decision," but that it was an "honest attempt to stay organized." Except Dave decided to send this spreadsheet to Arielle, the girl whom he liked most. Arielle, of course, stopped seeing Dave, and forwarded the email to her friends two days later, where it went viral.
There's three things I find wrong with this. Firstly, organizing your dates is great, but spreadsheets are for numbers, not people. Also, if you're dating so many people you need Excel to keep track of them all, maybe you should date a little bit less.
Secondly, Dave, according to Jezebel, thinks that Arielle owes him a apology. Regardless of the moral implications of what Arielle did, he is the one who sent her the spreadsheet. If he's smart enough to work enough in finance, he's smart enough to know that anything on the Internet is permanent. At least he's learned his lesson the hard way - Dave ended up deleting his Match.com profile. Oh well, there's always OKCupid.
The third lesson is perhaps the most important, mainly because it's probably the most relevant to anyone reading this. No girl wants to know about the other girls you're currently dating. Past relationship history lets us know about you - are you a commitment-phobe? Chronic cheater? Never been in love? But talking about other girls you're dating while you're dating us just reminds us of the competition, and ruins our own egocentric illusion that we're so fabulous you couldn't possibly be dating anyone else. Even if we're dating other people - on a date with us, you should be focused on only us. The other people you're currently dating are only relevant when a) one of them shows up, b) we decide to be exclusive, or c) we decide to break up. Period.
What do you think? Was Arielle in the wrong? Was David? How do you keep your dates organized? Have you ever been told by a date about the other people he's currently dating?