Saturday, 26 May 2012
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Dating for 5 Weeks, Leaving for 2 Months
This post has been submitted by a Datingish reader.
I met a girl and we have been hanging out pretty regularly over that time. Some intimate times--lots of hugging and kissing. When I met her, she knew I was going away for awhile and it didn't seem to stop us from continuing on. But now it is a week before I leave and it seems like she is pushing away.
I am trying to get closer and spend as much time with her as I can before I leave. I am not sure what is going to happen while I am gone; I'm sure we will still keep in touch, but two months is a long time.
I am afraid she won't be there when I get back. I would think that if she didn't want anything to do with me after I left, she would've ended it already but we are going out tonight and tomorrow. I am so confused!
I don't want it to be over just because I am going away. We have agreed not to try and control something that we have no control over, but I want more! It is breaking me apart inside! And I think it is doing the same to her, she just isn't as vocal as I am about it. I am scared!
Readers: What would you do in this situation? Have you ever been in a similar one?
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Comments (17)
Yes, and there is nothing you can do but make the best of what you have now and wait it out. Have fun now, have fun where you are going, and wait and see what happens when you get back. Don't miss out on enjoying a new location just because some girl "might" be waiting for you back home.
She may have solely been looking for a fling relationship, and the fact that you said you'd be leaving in a short time may have seemed perfect to her. Some girls just don't want to get attached to someone they've only known so long only for them to leave, who knows what could happen in 2 months.
I second what LupusInvictus said, don't miss out on the trip for a "maybe" girl.
while I agree with @specialxplaces I think a lot of girls end up falling harder than they intend to and then they become confused. I was one of those girls so the best thing you can do, I think is just to try to get her to be honest with you - tell her how you feel and that you don't want the distance to cause you two to lose what you have. However, reaffirm that you need to know she's in it enough to make the effort to keep it going too if that's what she wants or else maybe it's best to part ways. Then ask what she wants to do about the relationship. If you end up going the "we'll see what happens route", make an effort to talk to her if you see her online - i wouldn't work around trying to talk to her. If it's meant to be, you'll find ample ways to stay in touch and develop the relationship.
you are only going away for 2 months?
Sounds like you guys need to step up your communication... Have you tried talking to her about it?? Maybe she was hurt in a LDR in the past.. or maybe she is scared you are going to cheat on her....
You wont know unless you T-A-L-K to her.
unlike the others I think that a good relationship is worth waiting for.. and don't throw it away because you didn't want to talk to her.
Just talk to her about it.
Let's see... if it were me I would express that I wanted a serious relationship with her. Then depending on what she said, respond from there. Whether it be that it in two months you continue dating and get serious or get serious now and look forward to the big welcome back! But if you like her this much, tell her and see what she wants. All this going around it is silly.
Get her pregnant.
5 weeks? are you 12 or do you just suck with girls? there is nobody in the world that you have known for that little time who is worth worrying about.
if you really like someone, then 2 months isn't a long time to wait.
stay optimistic dude! 2 months is NOT a long wait at all. talk of being miles apart and not knowing when our paths are crossing again. if it's meant to be then it's meant to be, let the chips fall in place :)) and yes, just tell her how you feel before you leave! best of luck x
She's scared, that's why. I've been there. My bet is that she likes you, but doesn't want to really develop feelings for you in case you meet someone while you're away, or in case you forget about her. Talk to her - reassure her that you like her and see this going somewhere, and tell her that you're willing to be in a LDR with her if that's what it takes not to lose her while you're gone.
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Jeez. It's only two months. It's not going to kill either of you if you really want something more with each other.
My ex and I started dating 7 or 8 weeks before I left for BMT. We lasted through BMT and then my technical training, but as you can tell by the word, "ex"...well...he wasn't there when I finally could come home. Or rather, he was. But then he wasn't.
Good luck@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - That's not true at all. 5 weeks is plenty of time to decide whether or not someone is worth missing for 2 months. If I had been in the situation with my current boyfriend at that time I would have been crushed, and definitely worried about it.
My boyfriend and I dated for like six weeks (we became official 3 days) before he left for afghanistan for possibly up to nine months. You guys can call, text, skype, etc. It's not the end of the world. I haven't seen him in almost three months and I've had weeks where I will hear from him for ten minutes max over an entire week. If you two want to make it work then it will. You need to have clear communication. She may not want a relationship. Just figure out exactly what she wants!
Hhuhh.... I have a similar story, maybe I will put up a blog about this too-- but this guy I was dating for possibly less than a week left the country for three months -- at the time indefinetly.We thought to hold it off a bit but he ended up coming back. You're right, 5 weeks is a bit fast to decide if you want to be with them... but if it works out after two months with the current situation, then it's prolly a good sign.