Tuesday, 22 May 2012
-
Losing Your Virginity
I'm 19 and still a virgin (no shame right here). It's not that I'm a prude; I just always felt it should be with someone special. (You can ask my boyfriend--I'm definitely not shy about sexual matters, I just want it to be the right timing.)
Everyone my age has casual random sex and that just seems like an invitation for diseases to me. That and how many pregnancy scares can one girl have before she realizes she should use more protection or just stop having sex?
I mean losing your virginity is supposed to be awkward, right? Why would you do that with a stranger? I'd rather do it with someone I could laugh about it with later. Someone who I could talk it out with and learn how to get better. How do you ever get better or learn good techniques if almost every one of your sexual encounters is with a different guy?
Every single one of my friends has lost their virginity already and they all act like it was no big deal now. But I was there afterwards when they felt guilty or looked like they lost something special. But none of them could tell me why they did it besides "it just happened."
Everyone will say, "wait until you're ready." But how do you know when that is? Especially with this day-and-age where, if you haven't had sex, you must be a prude. So basically everyone is going to look at you like a weirdo until you do lose it. How is that fair?So what I want to know is how you lost your virginity. Not the play-by-plays, thank you, but how you knew it was the right time. Or did it just happen, like with my friends? Or is it really not a huge deal anymore and I should just bite the bullet?
(Image Source)
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to datingish's Datingish Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in datingish's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: LocaCubanChild@xanga
- Name: LocaCubanChild
- Location:
- About Me: I play guitar, I write lyrics, I sing made up songs in my head and real ones out loud in the aisles in the store. I have so many inhibitions that I no longer care what the world around me thinks. I do what I can to hide myself because I think that when I'm invisible, I'll be able to do what I want without reprimand. I'm that girl everyone sees, some remember, and and few actually talk to.
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 3 Views: 0 11805 Comments: 0 122 View all posts by LocaCubanChild@xanga
Comments (74)
Mine just kinda happened. It was quite wonderful. For me at least. The lady not so much, especially since she didn't know what happened when men reached climax. Wewps.
PS, eff what everyone else is doing, your sex life is your business. Those same people who would call you a prude, are the same people who fall in line because they can't stand to be different. Do it when you can honestly say "This is what I want"
I love this post but prepare for a butload of hate. Making love and losing your virginity should be something special. I,unfortunately, lost it without that luxury and I regret it to this day. The media glorifies having sex with a lot of people but its really not glorious at all. Its cold and lonely.
I was deeply in love, it wasn't actually planned and it was very exciting and very terrifying at the same time but I did it out of love, being loved by my boyfriend (married him later)...I never thought I'd ever regret it but now I think I should have waited though.
I was pretty young at the time. I had a bf and we were just making out and it happened. It's weird because we had made out lots of times before and we didn't take it too far. However, chalk it up to being young and in "love, hormones and curiosity, but I thought it was the right moment. We were each other's first. It was protected. It was nice, but not what I expected. I thought I would hear loud bells and whistles. lol!
Anyway, it's a very personal decision. Sex is an expression of love. Or at least, that's how I think it should be. Do what you think is best for you because it's you who matters. No one else.
eta: One thing I will say is, though, I should've probably postponed having sex until I was a couple of years older. I was still a kid.
Yeah, last time I saw a post like this, it got a huge amount of hate, and I took your stance in my own blog, and got a lot of hate too. Don't bite the bullet, wait until you are ready. I don't know what knowing feels like - I'm 22 and still a virgin - but I think then you know, you'll know.
whether it is a huge deal or not depends on the individual. you are not them and they are not you. thus, it is up to you:D
losing your virginity doesn't have to be awkward, but quite often it is.
@eatdrinkandbemaryy@xanga - I bet you were a pro the first time. *trollface*
i had sex fairly young, with a guy i sincerely loved but didn't end up with in the end. i have zero regrets. it wasn't awkward at all, or even painful. i was on the pill, we used a condom, so we were definitely safe.
to me, it wasn't a very big deal. i don't define my relationships through sex. i don't think you're a prude, but i also don't like holier-than-thou virgins who think they're special because of the choice they've made.
the orgasm is the mysterious feeling that virgins wonder about if they've never experienced an orgasm to know what it is like, so when they have sex and have an orgasm, then that is the "mind blowing" thing that happens-you get a freefalling feeling throughout your body and wonder wtf just happened
so you want to try it again
the orgasm itself isn't that special because you can have one without having sex but on your own
you don't have to have sex to show your love or to experience orgasms. I'm not a prude either, but I'm not a skank. I think sex itself is overrated, but the moments leading up to sex, are what I find the most exciting. there were some guys, who wanted to hookup with me, but pfft, no way, they haven't even seduced me yet
some people give it up too easily and that's their choice if they are consenting adults. oh well, people nowadays are spoiled and want things convenient and fast; fast food, fast wifi access, fast downloads, fast cars, fast and easy sex buddies, etc.
@npr32486@xanga - dude, for all 3 minutes of it hell yeah. HAHAHA.
I lost my virginity to this.
I waited till I was 19 too and was with the right person. All I wanted was to trust the person and to hopefully not regret it. It worked out wonderfully for me. I'm still with the same man (2 yrs later) and I never regretted it. How did I know it was right? Because I knew he was a good man and his feelings were genuine for me.
For all the build up though, I have to say I felt no different afterward. I did feel a little excited initially, simply cause yay I was no longer a virgin. I had some shit friends at the time that made me feel bad about about being a virgin.
Oh and 2 years of sex and no pregnancy or std scares. For the most part if you're with the right partner (one who wouldn't cheat and is tested) and take your sex life seriously, that kinda thing doesn't happen often.
And about it not being a huge deal. If you feel like it's a big deal then it is. That's all that counts. Don't over-hype it but take it seriously. Wait until it feels right. Good luck to you when it does happen!
Mine didn't just happen. It almost happened several times. When it did happen, it's because I wanted to. We both knew it was time. I waited for mutual love.
Also, it wasn't awkward and most surprisingly didn't hurt... thanks to my boyfriend's long slender piano playing fingers! It also helps that he wasn't a virgin. Also, I'm 20, almost 21 and it happened one month ago. Oh wow! Exactly a month ago! ... :D
But definitely wait until you're ready.
I didn't "lose" it. I shared it. I knew it was the appropriate time when I realized I was madly in love and this guy would never hurt me. For me it was a big deal so I held on until I met someone I felt was a big deal too. I waited until I was 23 and it was worth it to wait.
It was uneventful when I lost my virginity. I'm not with that person anymore but I have no regrets. I think that sex is something you learn to appreciate more as you get older, like wine =)
I lost my virginity three weeks into my first relationship. I trusted my boyfriend based on who I knew him to be and based on the way he approached it. It was discussed beforehand and I was certain I wanted to before it happened. I did it because I wanted sex and I trusted him not to be a douchebag after the fact. I did not do it expecting anything to change or expecting to stay with him forever (although it's been three years and we're still dating).
I don't think there's a wrong way to approach or lose your virginity, provided that you're making your decision based on your morals and desires. Don't "bite the bullet" and lose it because you'll be looked down on if you don't or because you feel like you should - but don't be afraid to lose it because you're afraid of being looked down on for being a non-virgin, either.
Decide what it means to you, decide where your morals stand, and decide what your priorities are. If you want sex because it's fun, go for it. If you want sex because you want to be more intimate with your partner, go for it. If you don't want sex because you're not ready to deal with the consequences - because you'll feel guilty, or because you couldn't handle breaking up afterward, or because you don't trust anyone enough... or a pregnancy - then don't.
No one can tell you what "ready" means for you, because it's personal. Think about it and reach a level of self-understanding that will allow you to figure out what it means.
I was 17, he was 18. We loved each other, and still do. (By that point I had learned the difference between thinking I'm in love and actually being in love.) We talked about it beforehand; discussed past experiences (or the lack thereof), the need to get tested (minimal), what we would do if I got pregnant (do whatever we had to to keep our child and raise him/her on our own - we were both a month away from graduating), how to avoid getting pregnant (triple threat of condoms, birth control [it took a month to get on it, though], and spermicide), etc. We didn't get caught up the heat of a moment or anything like that. Even when he wasn't making me horny, I knew I wanted to share myself with him in that sense. I wanted to share everything with him. It wasn't awkward in a bad way, but in a funny way. I'm 22 now and we have a wonderful marriage
I lost mine at 19 to a friend across the country, it was planned out when we were 13. Weird, I know. Best decision I made though because I did love him (still do, but a little less intensely) and we are still friends. So I can be like "man, remember when we lost our virginity to each other and a bled all over your bed? Good times."
Losing your virginity doesn't necessarily have to be about love or be special, but any time you have sex, especially the first time because it usually is awkward, it should be with someone you trust and are 100% are comfortable with. My friend was the first guy I didn't feel weird about taking my clothes off in front of. It should be someone you already talked to about having sex and knows you're a virgin. Someone who you have discussed protection and whatever with.
Losing your virginity is not a big deal in a romantic dramatic sense unless you really push for it to be, but it's a big deal as any time you first have sex with anyone. Also...once you get the hang out it, a lack of sex life becomes a bummer.
Honestly, Hold out! Wait until you are married and make love not sex. I had sex at 15 because the guy said some manipulative things and I was stupid to believe in him.
Don't give that up, you want to give that to someone that will cherish it. Just think of your husbands face when he pleasures you and KNOWS it is your first time, and he will be your first orgasm, your first everything, and your last.
It matters. I wish I was pure, sex also makes you lust WAY more. Meaning you want it more, meaning you have sex more, meaning you have better chance of getting STD or with child.
Just dont do it. You are not a prude, you on the right track. God bless.
Are you assuming that because they had casual sex they didn't use protection?
Anyways, the first time I lost it was awkward but it was the right time. We had been dating for half a year and the timing was so right. It was awkward as hell but I felt totally comfortable with him so it was okay but it hurt so bad.You should wait until you're ready for it. I waited until I was 17 and with a guy I was completely in love with. We dated for four years after that. We actually had sex before we were even official, but it was just something I knew I wanted to do with him from the beginning. We're still awesome friends and I still am so happy I had that moment with him rather than someone else. Don't listen to anyone else. You know the best about yourself.
If having sex feels like a loss, as in "losing your virginity", I think that is a sign it's not the right time, person and situation for you.
The idea is that expressing our sexuality enriches our lives and matures us, not that we lose something valuable that we can never get back.
Not all people your age are having casual random sex, I know a bunch, and that's not how they choose to express their sexuality. Maybe broaden your circle of friends?
And having intercourse for the first time is not automatically awkward...nor is it automatically graceful when it's your 100th time either!
It's your life, your body, your expectations and ideals. You most certainly should not "bite the bullet"...and just do it. If there are people who will think you are weird or a prude for not being sexually active...those are most likely NOT the people you want to be in that sort of intimate relationship with. Don't let other people's priorities for themselves alter your priorities for yourself.
ugh, as sick as i am of this topic, and don't feel like commenting on it again...listen. you are eventually going to lose it anyway (hopefully). don't delay. you're already pretty old for this, if i may say so myself. these are years you are never going to get back, and years from now, you won't care about how you lost it (though if youw ait too long, you'll wish you had done it when you were younger). as someone commented a long time ago on a similar post: it's like your first day at school. it might make you nervous at the time, but later on, you don't think much of it.
i know too many people who waited too long to do this. i have one friend who lost his v-card when he was 25, and two who are 25 and 28 and still have it (these are the three extreme cases). almost all of these people are afraid to be naked with girls, are uncomfortable with their bodies, feel unattractive to the opposite sex, and one is even afraid to get close to people (even as friends) because he doesn't want anyone to find out for fear of loss of reputation (and i certainly don't blame him).
as for who you lose it to, i suppose that's a personal choice...i lost it during a drunken hook-up with some random skank and am glad i did. girls are pretty judgmental of this shit and i wanted to do this with someone who wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
All these posts are making me feel weird butttttt I lost my virginity a couple months ago (at 19) causally and I've never looked back. Sex was something I thought was special, but honestly I just really wanted to get it over with at the time and its not a regret of mine. We had sex a few more times and went on our own ways. I think it was a good first experience, I knew him, even though we had no label he respected my wishes and never pressured me once for sex, until I did it a year after we had our thing. I think it depends on the type of person you are and if sex is really important to you, you wait until the moment is right, and you will know. I don't know if my moment was right, as for I haven't had sex with anyone else, and I don't plan to until I'm in a relationship. But I am really glad that I got it over with, it was fun and even though its not the best first time like some of my friends have had, and it wasnt with my boyfriend or all romantic, I don't feel guilty or ashamed. And I know my right guy will come around, and in this day of age, I highly doubt he will have a clean slate either, but that doesn't matter, everyone has a past, and if he's the right guy, it'll work out.