I have a sort of dilemma. It stems mostly from the fact that I'm 18 and have a strong potential to be engaged soon.
I just started college this year, and there's this guy, we'll call him "A", and he and I have a bit of past. We dated my junior year of high school, broke up when our religions clashed and he got to possessive of me, and we didn't speak for a year. He always treated me well, except he would get moody if I didn't do what he wanted (like sit by his side at the beach instead of swim, or stand near the wall instead of dance at prom), and he would get incredibly jealous if I talked highly of another guy (such as one of my many good guy friends).
Needless to say, when he went off to college at the start of my senior year, he got anxious I would meet someone else while he was gone. So he drove a state over from where he was going to college to basically yell at me in my driveway for me talking to my ex (who was also a good friend at the time). I threw the gifts he gave me at him and told him to leave. That's when we first broke up, and we didn't speak for almost a year.
I casually saw a few guys my senior year, went to senior prom single, and then me and A started talking over the summer, before I went to college.
By October we felt we were in love again, but we weren't sure if we could handle a LDR, so we waited until winter break to see how things went (we had tried an LDR for about two weeks but mutually ended it). By the end of break we were dating, and basically, he said he could see us being married some day and I felt the same at the time...so we were unofficially "engaged," unofficially because our parents would kill us if they knew (since I'm 18 and he's 19). He was in MA for college still, with me being stuck in CT.
Then I got a job, on my college campus, at a sandwich shop. I met another guy, we'll call him "K," and he's got an attitude and a strut and thinks he can boss anyone around, despite him being a lowly student worker such as myself. And he gets away with it because everyone loves him...because in reality, he's a sweetheart who wouldn't hurt a fly. He drinks like a sailor though, and although he's never come into work drunk, he still parties late at night and comes into work exhausted.
I loathe drinking but he has a hold on it apparently. And recently my boyfriend and I started arguing over everything, from me working longer hours to pay for tuition (where he feels like I'm ignoring him) and feeling he's too clingy (because he still gets crazy jealous at the mere mention of another male). Needless to say, as much as I loved my "fiance," I'm newly single.
I'd be able to see how things with my "crush" K go, except I'm torn between "K" and "A"...and if I date anyone while on "break" from A, he says he'll never date me again. Ever.
But I feel like I'm too young to be in a hyper-committed relationship. "A" has his life planned out and is following it to a T; he's a sophomore in college, with a major in chemistry and a minor in math. He's tailoring his studies to work for Phizer (a huge science/pharmaceutical company) one day, and he wants to own a place in Cambridge, MA with me as his wife. He knows my deepest secrets and fears, and wants the best for me.
"K" on the other hand is more laid back...he parties a lot, and is a 5th year in a four-year college, but he also has a steady job, an apartment, a car and aside from his overactive social life, he seems to have his act together. So we just met a few months ago, he doesn't know me all that well, and he doesn't know what he's doing in terms of an actual career...but at least he appreciates I have my own life.
There's a saying, "Don't give up the one you love for the one you like,"...but what if the one you love comes off as a clingy control freak at a time when you want/need your own space and freedom?