Saturday, 19 May 2012
I am engaged to a wonderful guy, and we're getting married in four months. He's everything I was looking for and more. However, I find myself still, occasionally, haunted by the ghosts of lovers past, and this is especially vivid during my dreams.
The only real hang-up I have is "my unicorn"--a guy I had feelings towards for over ten years (from ages 15-25, give or take). This guy and I never wound up dating--I was in a long-term relationship for the first half of that time, and during the later half he was studying abroad, in grad school far away, and/or in the Peace Corps. Long story short, we never got together, but I've never felt more powerfully attracted to anyone, physically, emotionally or intellectually. He'll always be under my skin.
So, last night I had a dream about him. I don't remember exactly how it began--we saw each other out somewhere, I think--and we wound up laying on the floor in my mom's living room and talking (and kissing gently) for hours. We had started discussing whether or not we actually wanted to pursue a relationship as I was beginning to wake up.
The last thing I remember in the dream was looking at him, realizing that I finally had him right in front of me, cupping his face in my hands and kissing him. The moment was so tender that it stuck with me for a long time after I woke up.
As the dream was ending, my fiancé was stirring in bed next to me. He rolled over and put his arm around me. I snuggled against him, but I was deeply shaken, and I've been thinking about this dream all day.
What does my dream mean? Who else has had a powerful dream about a lost love? Did you learn anything from it? How did you shake it?