Thursday, 17 May 2012
I have been seeing this guy for a couple months now and have known him for a little over a year. It turns out we had been mutually interested in one another for quite some time, but due to our professional relationship we only recently had an opportunity to voice our interests and thus begin dating. I have been very happy and things have been going extremely smoothly so far, until the other day when he told me that his ex-girlfriend is coming to visit.
From what I understand, things ended quite dramatically when they broke up right around the time that he and I first met. To make things even more complicated, way back when his ex actually (falsely) accused him of cheating on her with me.
This was a very preposterous claim for her to make considering he and barely knew each other at that time, and eventually she owned up to completely fabricating this story to help put distance between them as their relationship was fading. Needless to say this woman isn't very fond of me despite how little she ever knew about me and from what my guy says she has been out of the picture for about a year now.
However, this prospect of her coming to visit has still been enough to make my heart come to a screeching halt. A few months after their ultimate break up she came back wanting to try things again, then a couple months later came by again hoping to "pretend" they were dating again for at least one night. My guy claims that she should know better than to try again this time as he declined her offers both times in the past.
I trust my guy, but thinking of this situation still sends chills up my spine. He says in her email that she wanted to "have a drink to catch up" and "come by to visit his dog," and in an attempt to not seem jealous or paranoid I just told him that I am sure he'll do whatever is best when she comes back around.
Despite wanting to put my full faith in him, I still have this creeping feeling like this just can't be the best idea. A woman that we know hates me, we know might still want to be with him, and probably doesn't know that he is now seeing me after all this time, is coming to town to stay for the remainder of the month. It doesn't make me feel better that it just so happens that I will be out of town for the majority of her visit.
He says he hopes that she will have enough other distractions (such as friends she is staying with) to keep her from chasing after him, and I've made little comments in a joking tone such as "I wish I could be here to protect you through this!" hoping that he will get the idea that I am a little uneasy when it comes to her intentions.
I don't want to make something out of nothing and I certainly don't want him to think that I don't trust him, but I also wonder if I should voice my concerns that being buddy-buddy with his hopeful ex is something I'm afraid is going to stir up trouble for all of us.
Is this actually something worth raising my concern or am I overreacting? Should I say anything about how this is making me feel or just ride it out?