Tuesday, 15 May 2012
In my last blog, I was waiting with baited breath to hear my crush's response to my confession that I had feelings for him that were more than friendly. He emailed me back the next morning at 8:20 AM. I knew it was not going to be pretty. It wasn't, he informed me that he had zero desire for a relationship with anyone, other than friendship and that he doesn't see himself "coupling" with anyone.
Although, he absolutely dotes on his nephew and has frequently expressed admiration for his sister's marriage. I was hurt and devastaed, but he has acted completely normal around me and we have resumed a friendship of sorts and I am beginning to be able to see that Oh yes, the man is not "Prince Charming," in fact, he's a little bit froggy. So, after having the blues for a few weeks and shedding more than a few tears, I was able to let that go... ummm, for the most part.
So, last Saturday night I get a friend request from a close friend's brother. I didn't really think that much about it because we all attend the same local college and he and I are acquaintances. So, I clicked accept and went to bed. Sunday afternoon, he started talking to me on FB messenger, just random stuff, school and life. But, Sunday night, he got back on and it quickly went from friendly to WOAH! He started saying how he thought I was cute, that I turn him on and that he wanted to hook up.
I asked him how many girls he had been with and he said, "I don't brag." Then I asked him if he was with anybody now, he said, "yes." I asked if I knew her and that was also an affirmative. When I asked who it was, he told me it was a girl I knew by sight, but not really even an acquaintance. I was surprised because I have been around her enough to know that I don't like her and she kind of comes across as a bitch who's masquerading as sweet.
I was dumbfounded that we had talked casually numerous times at school and had been talking online for hours about hooking up and he had failed to mention a girlfriend, he didn't strike me as that type. I said, "I didn't know you were with anyone." He said, "yeah, me either, she must have slipped my mind."
May I just say that I abhor cheating? I think it is an abominable thing to do and I am NOT that kind of a girl. But, I was already in. He is so cute and funny and I like him. We never hooked up, but we talked about it, planned it (he kept backing out) and we sent flirty/dirty text messages. Then we fought because he wants to make ME the bad guy. Like I'm Deliilah for tempting him. Yes, I have pushed, but then I back off and he starts egging me on again.
I KNOW I should just walk away, this is a horrid idea, it would make me a horrible person, and I don't want to be THAT girl. Yes, I do not like this girl. I already disliked her before I knew they were together, due to the fact that she is just bitchy "sweet" to everyone, but that doesn't justify cheating with her man. There is something about this "bad boy" though, that I just can't seem to walk away from. He makes me feel alive and sexy and weak in the... "knees."
I don't think I am the bad guy for unwittingly kinda falling for him while he has a girlfriend that I had no idea existed, right? But yes, I should've backed off after finding out about her. I did unfriend him on FB Friday night, deleted all his texts messages and his number from my phone, but low and behold, who should send me a message via FB last night, but him? GRRRR!
Oh, and did I mention he was a lot younger than me? Which is another reason I am trying to talk myself out of the whole idea. I am a woman, I KNOW what I want, he is young and indecisive and HORNY!
I think I'd rather be alone, knowing I did the right thing, rather than having to live with the regret of knowing that I helped wreck someone else's relationship, even if I don't particularly care for this person. And I think deep down, he won't respect me if I go through with this or keep pushing for it. Besides, she is moving to California in two months and I am not!
Okay, y'all weigh in with your opinions and thanks so much for all the love and support on my last blog.
The Single Girl