To be in Greek Life at my university, one must sacrifice an entire semester as a pledge. Jay and I pledged in the same semester. He was tall, cute, muscular, caring, and had not only a great sense of humor but also a great personality.
While his physical attributes were often hidden under baggy pledge attire and his face was usually cut up and bruised from the brothers, his kind nature remained. We shared a "pledge romance," if you will. The hardships of pledging brought us even closer, creating a special bond between us. This is why it never phased me when drunk sisters would cry to me about their problems as I held their hair in the bathroom.
"Never...date...a frat guy!" they would garble in between dry heaves. I patted their backs with sympathy and thought to myself how lucky I was to have a person with a good head on his shoulders.
I was ecstatic the day I had finally earned my letters. I brought Jay to my date party; he brought me to his semi-formal. We weren't dating but I was extremely confident that we would be official someday soon. That's why I was devastated over winter break when Jay took my hand and said, "You're such a cool girl, what's gonna happen when we get back to school?"
My heart sank. I mumbled an insincere "what?" even though I knew exactly what he meant.
"Well I mean we both just got in, don't you want to enjoy Greek life? I like you, but I also want to experience it." Being a fiercely loyal person, this thought hadn't occurred to me.
I genuinely only wanted to be with him but I didn't want to hinder his fun, so I had to let him go.
Fast-forward a month and Jay had completely evolved into a species I like to call "Frat Daddy."
He was temperamental, rude, and got with just about anything that walked. He even slept with my suite-mate, disregarding how much I still cared for him and his knowledge of my disdain for her.
I was sad to see his refreshingly grounded character tarnished by his idea of what it means to be in a frat. Although it still irks me, I took it with a grain of salt and learned from it. Not everyone is who they're cracked up to be; sometimes the idea of something is a lot more satisfying than its actuality.
Readers, have you been in a similar situation?
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Comments (11)
Good for you for realizing that and moving on.
People are so dumb. I'm sorry, but if "greek life" is what you're describing, I have no respect for any who join. I try and try to change how I see sorority girls and frat guys, but they keep doing THAT, which only supports my dislike.
@wildchildofthebluemoon@xanga - Not all are like that. I'm in a sorority (NEVER thought I would be because of the stereotypes I previously had) and I've remained true to myself. I know several guys and girls who are not like that in greek life. There are good seeds and bad seeds everywhere, no matter what organization they're in.
To the poster, I don't know what you went through for pledging but when I pledged, there were no "hardships"....odd.
@weirdgirl017@xanga - See. I have friends in sororities who are awesome. And I want to think of sororities and fraternities differently because I know some people in them stay true to who they are...but when SO MANY people who change and become drunken, sleezy party animals...its just hard.
See, if he really cared about you he wouldn't care about going out, drinking himself stupid and sleeping with everything with boobs and a vagina. You're better off without him - he obviously wasn't that great of a guy if he could change that quickly. It sounds like you had a lucky escape!
I fratted so hard in college that my Jager Bombs literally exploded in my hand and my popped collars sprouted popped collars. Anything less would be a violation of The Brotocols, a secret and ancient code that has governed frat life since it was invented by the Ancient Greeks two thousand years ago. To refuse to frat is to refuse The Brotocols themselves. The punishment for this is death.
there isn't a quota to sleep with sluts but they do it anyway to win the unofficial slut badge
Yes, and I learned to let go and keep my distance. You can't count on the person changing back. You just can't wait forever, so you move on and friend-zone them because that's all you can give.
Even if he did try to change back into his "pure" self if I were the OP, I would not give him another chance. Idk, I've always been someone who cares about who got with who and how many. It's important to stay safe that's why I ask and want to know and it shows how a person views sex if he's just going to hit it and quit it or if he values sex as a relationship thing. I don't want anyone's sloppy seconds and I especially don't want get with someone that someone I hate got with. Ironically the guy I'm seeing now lost his virginity in high school to one of the sluttiest bitches in my class. I figured he did because she gave it out pretty easy and people did stupid things in high school so now it doesn't matter because it happened a long time ago. If it's recent like the guy getting with your suite mate you hate and he knows you hate her, I wouldn't bother with him. That would have turned me off immediately.
I've never understood the desire to join the organizations that require you to pay to be treated like crap.