Wednesday, 02 May 2012
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A Skype Chat Gone Wrong
I've known this guy named "Lee" since February. We have been chatting on and off and even exchanged numbers last month. He was teaching me Korean through Skype and we were getting to know each other well. The video chat was okay; I mean there was a bad connection and sometimes I couldn't even hear what he was saying, but we ended on a good note and said goodnight.Days went by and he was literally texting me every day. He would write saying I was trying to ignore him, even when I was busy with school and had papers to write. I did text him back within the same time frame, so I didn't understand. He was starting to get clingy and then wham! He wanted to meet up. I told him I might be busy the weekend he wanted to go out seeing as I had something planned already. The day came and he asked me why I had stood him up when I never even agreed to go anywhere!
He also stated that it was very rude of me since I was his girlfriend. I said to myself, "What is he talking about?" Well, he went on the website we first talked on and told me that I was a cheater since it said on my page I already had a boyfriend. I explained to him I never said I was dating him. I could see he had a clear attraction before, but I kept it platonic and simply wanted to learn a new language. "Lee" told me he was hurt that an American girl could do such a thing.
He said that through Skype, I had agreed to date him when he never even mentioned dating to begin with. The only thing he asked me was if I wanted to meet up. I guess he misused the word meet, meaning he might have meant that he wanted to go on a date with me.
What do you think about this situation? How would you have felt?
-GossamerRhyannon
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About the Author
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- From: GossamerRhyannon@xanga
- About Me: college bound, and going to have a military boyfriend :)
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Comments (34)
I would have felt creeped out. Then I would have turned the computer off to make him go away.
OMG same here except this dude 40 years older than me pulled that stunt. We have a mutual friend he met through me and he sometimes vents to my friend about crushing on me and me not returning his feelings. One time he told my friend that we "called it quits." I was never aware that it was on in the first place. He thought we were in a relationship just because he bought me these "expensive" pair of earrings I've never asked for even though since the beginning I flat out told him I don't do grandpas. He had a failed marriage with his ex wife of 6 years and i guess latched on to any woman unfortunately me who gave him any sort of attention. he doesn't stop with the incessant e-mails always complimenting me when it's very creepy especially when it's not wanted. I never expected this type of behavior from a 60 year old man. maybe that's his way of wanting to "feel young again"
Sounds like he has some serious control issues. I would have ended things before they had a chance to escalate any further.
Sounds dangerous, be careful. You may want to consider your Korean language needs elsewhere.
Stop talking to this person.
Stop talking to him. Learn Korean here: http://www.ttmik.com
I use that site. The lessons are free! Its run by a guy who lives in Korea (I met him when I lived there). He's fluent in English. The lessons are written in English and easy to understand. You can listen to the lesson in audio format and look at it on a pdf file.
He's a wacko, run away!
I suggest closing down that skype account and blocking his number.
Just ignore it and buy a korean language guide book or something.
What a fruit loop.
Block his number, delete his Skype and thank your lucky stars he doesn't know your address or where you live.
in Korean, the word "meeting" in sino-Korean means "a date." Similar thing happened to one of my other friends, a guy asked her for a meeting to teach her Korean, and turns out he thought they were dating...#awkward..
I would have felt super creeped out. Then blocked him on all social medias cua that is just tooooo much.
Hi,
It didn't seem like he meant harm necessarily, perhaps he thought you were leading him on. Just try to distance yourself away from him, or establish the "friends" line.
Good luck!
weirded out...unless maybe english isn't his first language. "Meet" is a pretty neutral word.
@lila - Hm, that's interesting. I hope the OP reads this comment.
@lila - yes, but even then, his reaction is pretty extreme, especially as she never agreed to meet up with him.
he's a native korean? i know a couple native koreans and taiwanese people and they're all kinda like that....extremely clingy and get the wrong idea about dating and stuff. most younger people are so focused on school and studying they have little to no understanding about how to act with other people. while i don't think it's his fault, i do think you should stop talking to him. try interpals.net it's a great site for getting to know people who are more than happy to skype and do a language exchange without being weird about it.
seems like 25% cultural confusion and 75% he's clingy and a tad crazy.
I'd stop contact with him.
All my recommends are what I would have said. Plus, that has creep written all over it.
Find a sweetheart for you.Um, that's pretty creepy.
Something like this also happened to me, minus the creepiness. This guy clearly showed that he was interested in me, and asked to meet up. I was still feeling uneasy, and I told him I was busy and couldn't meet up with him. Next day, he says to me, "Way to stand me up, haha." I didn't even bother replying back to him, because I knew I told him I wasn't going to meet him up. So every time he tried to start a conversation, I'd just ignore it ._. .
Having lived in Korea, Taiwan and now Japan. I agree with @dead_poetic009xx@xanga - a lot of people from that part of the world between 18-25 tend to be a lot more clingy and kind of have this idea that once you show romantic interest you're instantly dating and should be together whenever one person wants the other. That being said, this guy's a creep even by East Asian standards I believe.
Either there was a language barrier there when he said "meet up" he meant date OR he truly is a stalker-ish nutjob. I would go with the latter honestly. Considering it seems he took it upon himself to say you were in a relationship with him & all that jazz - when you clearly did your best to keep it platonic. You did nothing wrong in this situation & it appears to be all in his head. Which is quite scary. I would delete him on Skype & block his number & move on. You don't need that drama being stirred up by someone who is clearly unstable. Regardless of ethnic backgrounds..he should never have assumed things..clearly he knows you are American..so he should have taken into consideration that you have different morals, values etc then he does. Sounds like he didn't though & got way too clingy & angry when he realized you weren't interested. Such as name calling you a cheater. Not cool. Move on with your boyfriend & good luck :]
If he's Korean this is not weird at all. When I first moved to Korea, I asked the guy showing me my apartment if I was allowed to have a pet. Apparently I asked him out and he thought we were dating. Talk about awkward.
Doesn't seem like so much of a creep as a control freak, and sometimes that can be a lot worse. Be careful.