If you'll please pardon me for a minute while I get on my high horse, as the "who pays for the date" debate has been brought back into the circle alongside its relation to feminism, I can't help needing to express my opinion on both ordeals (especially since I feel like I started this mess).
A fellow reader made a comment on the recent post that most women hate feminism. Any woman who says she hates feminism either doesn't know what the word means or is an alien. Without getting too much into a history lesson here, there are three waves of feminism.
The first being in the early 1900s where we earned our right to vote. The second being in the 60s and 70s where we exerted our equal rights in the workforce and pushed to dissolve the gender roles granted to us by society at the time (housewife, stay at home mom, dependent on husband/man, limited career options, etc.) The third being a current wave giving us the beautiful option to choose whether or not we want to be homemakers (and proud of it) or own a business... or both!
The last two waves, I think, are still overlapping today.
There's a battle going on between those two waves, the second one not understanding why some women of today would choose to stay at home and not work after their predecessors have worked so hard to pave the way for women to become a powerful figure in the workplace. On the contrary, we're grateful to have the choice.
If you look at statistics 50 years ago, you wouldn't see women being the dominant sex at most college campuses. You wouldn't see a woman in the White House as Secretary of State or Defense. You sure as hell wouldn't see one trying to run for president.
While we may still feel the word "feminism" has a negative stigma, I find it hard to believe that a woman would reject the idea so completely mainly because half of the opportunities available to her would not be possible if not for the feminists movements of the last century.
For instance, this crazy woman who told an all-male audience that dating a feminist is a bad idea would not have been able to give such a talk to an all-male audience were it not for those same feminists who paved the way to allow her to do so. I mean, for heaven's sake there was a time women couldn't even talk about political issues with men. At all. Whatsoever. They were sent out of the room.
The movements have certainly garnered respect for women, and in that regard I could see why there would be a logical connection (perhaps a bit of a stretch) for a man to want to split the bill with his date.
If a man asks me out on a date that he planned, I would absolutely expect him to offer to pay the bill. Would I still make sure I was financially ready to take care of my half? Absolutely. And would I offer to help? Of course.
I would not feel disrespected or less equal to a man because he offered to buy me a steak. I would be flattered and look forward to a future time I could pay him back, whether that means a home-cooked meal or a fun date within my own budget.
Would you agree or disagree? Have we beaten this dead horse enough to put it to rest?