Monday, 23 April 2012
In case you don't know what a flake out is, let me put it into perspective: A guy meets a woman he's interested in and gets her number. They may talk a bit during the week, but ultimately the guy sets up a date and time to go out with this woman. The woman agrees and may even say "sure I'd love to!" The guy plans his weekly schedule around the get-together and, depending on how his week is or who he's meeting, may look forward to it all week.
Then all of a sudden, either the night before, the day of, or even just MINUTES before they're supposed to meet up, the woman calls or texts and says she can't make it, and usually it's a stupid excuse like, "My brother is in town this weekend and I have to meet him," or "Family emergency; I have to stay home all week and may not be around until next week," or my personal favorite, "I can't go out and spend money this week and I need to get the A/C in my car fixed."
Real emergencies DO come up where the get-together may be canceled, but when that happens, I'd think the woman would create some sort of rain check to meet at another time if she was really interested in meeting in the first place. Instead, it's nothing more than a lame excuse to get out of a meet-up which she could have easily said "No" to in the first place.
Unfortunately, this is one of those things women (particularly women in their 20s) do very often and men are baffled as to why they do it. Do women enjoy flaking out on men? Or is this just one of those illogical things women decide to do based on their insecurities? Regardless, it drives most men nuts.
I mean, think about it. You meet an interesting woman and ask to meet up, which she says yes to. You look forward to going out all week and even visualize how it's going to go in your head. You schedule your weekend around this get-together, only for her to call/text you at the last minute to cancel for some strange, random reason, thus your night is ruined. When it happens and the girl doesn't ask for a rain check, it's pretty much over with; this girl was just trying to get out of seeing you.
When a woman flakes out on a guy, the worst thing a guy can do is panic. The most common form of panic in this situation is the car salesman reaction. Have you ever been to a dealership only to dislike the offer(s) you were getting? If you decided to walk away to do business elsewhere, chances are the car salesmen would follow and offer some "unbelievable" new deal to get your business back. That of course is a sign of desperation.
Once a woman decides to flake, all the bargaining in the world will not win her back. In fact, a guy will just sink faster in quicksand because she knows she made the right decision after seeing how much of a wuss the guy was (and will get a good laugh out of it with her friends as well). The solution: when a woman flakes, don't say anything; just move on. If you feel the need to say anything, all I would say is "Your loss." That way, the woman will be derailed and knocked back down after attempting to take control or power over the man.
For guys, have you ever been flaked out on? If so, what happened and how did you handle it? For women, have you ever flaked out on a guy before? If so, what was going through your head at the moment?