Sure, I've been dumped over an email -- when I was 18. We were both young and I forgave him because... well, we were 100% incompatible and fought all the time.
I met a new guy and we dated for a few months and I relished the fact that maybe he and I were in many, many ways 'perfect' for each other. Not one single fight, not one single tear. Until about a month ago, out of the blue, he decided (over the internet) he didn't want to be in a relationship anymore. I was upset about it, but a couple days later, he came by crying and apologizing, saying that he wanted me back and that he cared for me deeply. Okay, okay. I took him back, strike one.
Everything was perfect after that, yet again. We went to some gardens, the movies, dinner, camping... we had so much fun together. But, c'est la vie, he had to go back to work, which consists of 4 weeks on the gulf, pulling barges to and fro. When he left, I made him promise that he wouldn't try that shit on me again... because things were literally as good as they could be between us since that incident. He goes to work and 4 weeks later, he comes back.
I gained a new job and recently decided to go back to school to finish my degree for elementary education... things were great the first day we saw each other. That day, we had made plans to go on a double date with my sister and her girlfriend. I had to work the next morning, but since we made plans to go to the movies at 5ish, to meet me at around 3 or 3:30, so that would give me plenty of time to get ready. He agreed.
The next day, I get off of work, thinking everything was fine and dandy. I rush to the bathroom to shower and then I go get ready... and 3 passes... 3:30 passes. I wonder where he is.
So I hop online. He usually sends me a message when he's having car troubles or whatever. Only to find that he sends me this extremely long message about how we're not going to work out and blah blah blah.
So, of course I was pissed off. A) For not telling me the night before that he wanted to end things, and B) For sending so many mixed signals. I told him he was bi-polar, where he continued to call me a moron, an idiot and other things. So I was fed up. Then I decided to call him a coward, because people who dump people online are exactly that. He then proceeded to call me a bitch, when I had more than a right to be angry. Of course, I'm angry! This is the second time he'd done it and he promised he wouldn't do it again.
The breakup doesn't bother me, no. I promised myself that I wouldn't get worked up if he DID decide to dump me again. And I didn't. But the fact that he called me a bitch for being rightfully angry, the FIRST time I'd EVER been angry at him. The fact that I didn't stoop so low to call him a dickhead or an asshole tells me that I was the better person in the situation. Tell me, people: should 23 year old men really act like this? Or should I go for someone even older than that? Seems like I need to, because I tend to date men who don't have a clear set of balls between their legs.
Have you ever been dumped over the Internet or a text message?
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Comments (54)
The hell is with this dude? the guy got issues if at 23 he behaves like a child. seriously, email?! wow. you have more than a right to be angry.
in young padawans, strong is the fear of commitment
yes 23 year old guys are flaky with releationships...that continues for several years actually , some never grow out of it :)
I can see why girls like dating older guys
I haven't been in your position, but I can understand your frustration. No one likes their emotions to be messed with. Surely you don't want to be the butt of a joke, or otherwise treated with such disrespect. The only thing I will offer is that age is not a great indicator of maturity. He may have been 23-years-old, but in my opinion, based on his behavior, he was not a man. Meet more men, make some friends, and see where things go.
Ugh, that sounds awful. In my experience though, when a guy calls a girl a "bitch" it means that she got to him. So, good for you for being strong and confident.
And unfortunately, it's hard to judge maturity by age. I've dated guys that were younger than me and more mature than some of the older guys I've dated. You have to get to know someone in order to truly judge their character.
Ah.. yeah. I've been dumped online, on facebook by my at the time 24 year old, now ex-boyfriend. At one fine day he decided to be "Single" and that was it. Most guys at 23-26 still behave like young boys that don't want to/are afraid commit in my experience. My fiance has 6 years over me, and I couldn't be happier with the way things have worked, and are working out. That's just me though. I'm sure there are mature and awesome 23-26 year olds out there who know what they want. One guy isn't the next, so all hope is not lost!
this isnt an age thing, this is a "he doesn't have his act together" thing
Yes, I have.
Yeah... looking for reasons is an entertaining way to waste time, but ultimately, no. It doesn't matter if he's 23 or 50. If you don't want to be with him, don't.
All this self-deception shit has been getting under my skin lately. It's like... if you're not going to take the time to record your statistics and analyze the data from your experiences, there's no point in trying to pin down the causes other than convincing yourself your actions are justified.
My ex dumped me over text message while I was at work, so I wouldn't get the message until it was too late to call him. I was livid, to say the least. We'd been together for 2 1/2 years, and the last six months had been rocky, but I expected him to have more balls than that, and to at least respect me enough to give me a chance to say how I felt.
It took me a while before I was able to trust again, and even though I'm incredibly happy with my current SO (we'll have been together for three years at the end of May), I'm still working out some issues with trusting him, especially when it comes to talking about things that are upsetting me because I'm TERRIFIED that he is going to think we're not worth it and break up with me.
I think using technology period, other than over the phone, is incredibly selfish and shows a complete lack of respect for the other person and their feelings. I believe it took me longer to heal because I wasn't able to express how I felt about the whole situation without being ignored. Yes, I sent him a string of text messages telling him EXACTLY how I felt, but he never responded. I'd given my heart to him and he stomped on it, not even ACKNOWLEDGING the emotions I was feeling.
So, umm yea. That dude that broke up with you in an email? Thank your lucky stars he is out of your life, and PLEASE don't give him another chance. He has already demonstrated TWICE that he isn't capable of respecting your feelings, and calling you a bitch for being upset is the height of disrespect in my opinion.
Yeah, it is childish but so is calling him bipolar and a coward. It's no more mature than what he did, and I'm sorry, but he's going to react angrily if you call him things like that. I'm not saying what he did was acceptable, but don't dish out abuse if you can't take it.
I've ended relationships online (because we were long distance and he refused to answer his phone), via text (again long-distance and all he did on the phone was scream and abuse me) on the phone and in person. No method is really any easier than the others. At least he sent you an explanation - a friend of mine got broken up with when her ex changed his relationship status and blocked her. No phone call, no text, no e-mail, no explanation - nothing.
I think probably in relationships in middle school. Not since then. But I've only been in seriously long term relationships most of my life so there wouldn't really be the possibility for that. I could see it being more likely if I was just casually seeing someone. Not very cool, but more likely.
A few years ago I was dating a woman (girl?) who was in her early thirties. She texted me one night to tell me she had written me an email to break up with me.
Some people just have no moxie. This day and age it's all too easy to send someone a message and be done with it rather than actually having to confront them and talk to the person. Age and gender makes no difference, some people are just that way.
no. last (and only) time I got dumped there wasn't any technology except regular telephones.
My husband is 21 and is WAY more of a man than that. We met when he was 19 and he was still more mature. 23 year old guys shouldn't act like that.
Yes I got dumped over Myspace once and well, I never saw it coming but almost a year later he told me it was because he didn't want to do it to my face but he was moving. I don't know if it's 100% believable because he was moving at the end of the school year and it was the middle of the first semester, really, who sees a relationship in college lasting longer than a few weeks to a few months?
I had to dump someone over a text because she didn't want to wait until that night to talk and she was also on the opposite side of the country.
The first time my ex and I dated he broke up with me over text. When we recently broke up, he did break up with me in person - but it was in front of his house, which I drove an hour to.
He was probably seeing another person ~.~ There's an underlying reason for him changing his mind
He's passive aggressive and clearly has trouble communicating his feelings. He had issues with the relationship that he wasn't able to express to you, and apparently they nagged him for a long time before he called things off over the Internetz.
My first suggestion is, instead of calling your ex names, ask him (after things have cooled down) what things you did that made the relationship unsustainable for him. Be clear with him that you will not get defensive, but you want to learn from the past so you do better in your next relationship. It's not always fun at the time, but it sure makes things easier in the long run.
Second, consider maturity, not age, when you're seeking your next partner. My boyfriend is my age, making him the youngest guy I've ever date, but he's also the most mature and responsible. We've both worked hard to learn from our past relationships.
My husband is nearly 40 and was
fired from his jobvia text message just 3 weeks ago.
the world sucks1. No relationship is "perfect" not fighting and never being mad at one another is a sign that something is wrong. It is the nature of human relationships for there to be conflict.
2. It sounds like he called you a bitch because you called him names first, not because you were mad at him. Also, calling someone "bipolar" is super offensive.
I'm by no means on his side, he was a dick to dump you like that twice. But I can't bring myself to feel bad for you because you went back to him the second time. "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me" But perhaps that's because I'm a bitch. *shrug*
I would prefer to be dumped by email. I only check it at home, I'd hate to be dumped face to face more.
Age is not the defining factor. Maturity is. And respect.
Forget him. You should have left at strike one.
He's an idiot.
My last relationship ended in January, and I was with the guy for six years. He dumped me with a few angry emails one morning out of the blue. He's 30 years old.
omg. im more of an idiot as i dsted a 44 yr old man who did this about 30 times in 5 years n i was stupid enuff to go back! i became a strong woman n finally the last time i was "kicked outta " his life within 2 mins i had every number blocked! he found me at wrk n out 5x cryin n beggin but when a woman os done shes done. i know what it feels like when a man waNTS u is into u n enjoys u... i now wont settle for less!!!