My friend Anne went on a date with this guy last week that she really liked. They hit it off well, had great conversation, and, in her opinion, were both clearly attracted to one another. He was the one to initially ask her out despite being nearly a decade older than her. However, it's been a few days, and he's been silent. Should she throw in the towel?
We decided that there was a formula for when a guy would contact you back, if he was interested. It was actually confirmed by a few close guy friends of ours and we have both experience the "text-back" after this number of days.
The lucky formula? Four business days. Weekends don't equate. Why? Because we are busy people on the weekends. That's when we go out and unwind with our close friends and scope out the immediate pickings. So if you go out with someone on a Thursday night and you don't hear anything by that next Wednesday (or Thursday at the latest) then don't hold your breath.
Ladies, Gentlemen: How long do you wait to text back someone you like? When should we give up?
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Comments (41)
How about this for an idea? YOU TEXT THEM BACK AND SEE HOW THEY RESPOND. None of this waiting bullshit and just sitting there not doing anything. Be proactive if you want a relationship to happen instead of just waiting for the other person to do everything.
If he likes you, he'll contact you. Or, you can contact him. Just carry on with your life as if nothing has changed.
a couple of days. anything more than a week and he prob was seeing someone else too. if he was really into her, he'd do something about it and she'd know.
@laytexduckie@xanga - Didn't you know? It's a lot easier to "scope out the immediate pickings" than it is to send a text to a guy.
text?!
TEXT?!
Oh good grief... You know those neat little email checking, text sending, Angry Bird playing things have this other neat feature to them. It's a hidden secret, you can only access by entering a 7 to 10 digit series of numbers, but if you figure it out, you can actually hear a person's voice on the other end.
It's a game changer, let me tell you. The world will never be the same.
@laytexduckie@xanga - Don't be ridiculous. If she does that, she might find out he's interested, and that would completely rob her of her next Datingish Post, entitled "UGH! Guys That Don't Text Back:Woe Is Me"
I dunno. they usually text the next day...
If someone's interested in me, I usually hear from them several hours to a day later (or contact them myself within the same time frame). It's after that first week or two of communicating that things get rough and become make it or break it time.
@AgainstTheWind1@xanga@QuantumStorm@xanga - Oh no! What have I done?! Now the world is going to implode! How dare I introduce common sense and proactiveness to pursue a happy commitment!
@laytexduckie@xanga - You freak. Don't you know you can't mess with that stuff? This isn't freaking Pleasantville. It's datingish.
For her situation if he's 10 years older he might not be as "technologically inclined" to text. It's nothing wrong with her calling if things went that well. I have a hard time using rules of 'when and when not' to contact people so If i'm interested I contact them. Usually they contact me back and we leave the waiting games for people who enjoy waiting lol.
I usually initate the texting, and I expect a reply within 24-36 hours or he gets friend-zoned
i swear to god, it's shit like this that makes me hate girls more and more everyday. sometimes i wish i was gay.
Text? I've never texted anyone :P Why not just use the phone? It's more personal, more betters. Texting seems to say: "I'm too chicken to actually talk to you, please read my message."
Let me guess, she's saving it for marriage?
I was in the same boat as your friend Anne was in, except the guy I went out with was only a few years older than me. I went out with a guy on okcupid and he was the one who made the first approach. We definitely hit it off on our first meet (or date?) but ever since then, it took me about two weeks to send him a text back. Yes, i gave in. He's not the texting type of guy, i'm not much of a texting girl either. But we did meet up again, however, the second time we met up was 5 months after the first!! Yea, 5 months. But I think now in our generation, there really isn't a rule of who makes the first moves. Just go with it, if she wants to text him, text him. Why should she text him after he texts her? And if he doesn't text back and never hear from him again, well then that'll give her the answer right?
go watch the movie "He is Just Not That Into You".
Basic point? If guy likes you, he will call/text. If not, move on.
Thank God Im married and I don't have to deal with this BS anymore.
I usually can't help it and quickly text the guy multiple times, and I get impatient and mad that he isn't texting back as quick as I am sending new texts
then he is either too overwhelmed by all of my text message with emoticon combinations and can't believe that I'm interested in him, so he is speechless and doesn't know how else to respond except for..."cool." and then I'm thinking...I just poured out all of my undying cutesiness to you and all you can say is...cool?!
so I stop the texts and he is wondering why I've stopped texting and conclude that she's not interested
oh well, she was too needy anyway
so I don't want to seem needy to the next guy and play it cool, just like him
pfft...if SHE is interested in me, then she'll text me
wuteva, if HE is interested in me, then he'll text me back
the too cool standoff
Sit patiently by the phone and don't even think about texting him first. If you do, the world will explode!
Just text him and thank him for the meet up or good time.
Oh my God, text him first and stop whining.
Do it when you feel like it. There shouldn't be a set amount of time you should wait.
guy went on date...interest levels dropped = no contact. If the girl is THAT bugged about it, she should text/call/message him that she had a good time.
Three days top? If I'm interested, I'll text him the second day or heck, maybe even the next day!!!!