There are many dimensions to a relationship and as much as I'd like to believe I could find someone to exist with me at all levels, some aspects of a person's life may simply not suit an SO. There's certainly nothing wrong with that and I imagine a relationship can still flourish and be fulfilling regardless.
But let's say your SO is heavily into the BDSM scene or some other fantasy that simply doesn't tickle your fancy. You've tried a couple of times, but it simply doesn't suit you. Your SO understands and doesn't bring it up again. How sweet.
Your SO still has this strong urge to live out that fantasy, though. Sure there's plenty of porn online. There are also plenty of opportunities to build a rapport with someone interested in the same sexual fantasy.
So your SO finds a little domme or sub online to have a little sexy banter with. He or she may live thousands of miles away, but your SO is communicating with them and in a sexual way--with the idea that talking to you in such a matter would cross your line of comfort.
Would you consider this cheating if it was strictly a fantasy being act out virtually with another?
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Comments (48)
Yes
Does nobody know what cheating is anymore? From all of the "Is this cheating?" posts..I guess so.
My expression, when I read this post: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-A3G8iENshdw/Ttt9eKHW0vI/AAAAAAAAAK0/3ZqA2vMvK2I/s1600/neutral-suspicious-l.png
Another troll post???
I wouldn't consider it cheating, but I would be furious.
cheating? no. still a dumbass, unacceptable thing for my SO to do? absolutely.
It doesn't matter if it's "cheating". What matters is how you feel about it.
dur dee dur
Under that specific hypothetical situation, I would not consider it cheating. However, I wouldn't entirely deny a partner's BDSM fetish in the first place. I'm not really into that fetish, but we could come to a compromise about what's fun for both of us and what's off limits.
if he does that, then there's plenty of other guys out there for me, who would be more respectful. however, I like tease games and likely wouldn't mind roleplaying with him. he can be the mousey while I'm the mighty tigress battling it out with him over the delectable slice of cheese. if he doesn't want to roleplay as the mouse, then I won't participate, and he can leave. I make the rules
I never considered role-playing as a part of BDSM before.
General rule: if you don't want your SO finding out, there's a reason.
If it's something you have to do behind your SO's back, then it is probably cheating.
Why wouldn't it be? You're deriving sexual pleasure from someone other than your SO, and if they're not okay with that, then it's cheating.
It's like if your girlfriend isn't into anal sex and you proceed to bang some other girl in the butt on the side to fulfill your needs. Only, virtually, of course.
Yeah... no. If he has to hide it, it can't be right. So yeah... no trust after that.
three words: shaking my head...
It depends on what your SO thinks not us.
it's probably not cheating, but i definitely wouldn't like it.
If you aren't into the same stuff as your SO, then why are you with your SO?
Well, it wouldn't be a smart thing to do behind someone's back, that's for sure. I think you'd need to discuss it with your partner before going ahead with it, though. I know I wouldn't consider it cheating but I also don't think I'd be okay with it happening either.
why would it be cheeting
If it's a big part of their sexual needs and you aren't into it at all then you are probably not a good match to begin with.
The post title asks the question, "Is Roleplaying Cheating?" but your content is about more than that. If it were just roleplaying amongst you too then I see absolutely nothing wrong with it, but I am totally against going elsewhere for sexual fulfillment.
I'm not sure if I would consider it cheating, but I definitely think it would make me or my partner uncomfortable to find out the other was doing it.
When someone finds out that you aren't into their kinks, I think the relationship should end. I'm sorry but a strong sexual relationship is just as important as an emotional one. I honestly believe this is why a lot of men and women cheat is because while they are compatible emotionally, sexually they are off. Ask any sex therapist, sexual compatibility is important to a relationship. Dan Savage actually dealt with a letter like this not long ago on his column. There is nothing wrong with being vanilla in the bedroom but don't expect to be able to last long with someone who is GGG.
:( i don't know what it is, but if he's THAT sexually frustrated within the relationship i'd just let him go be with someone who's into the same shit. it would make me sad, but i'm uncomfortable doing a lot of weird shit myself, i wouldn't want to feel like i'm limiting my partner just because i'm uncomfortable.
WHAT is it with the "Am I cheating?" or "Is this cheating?" posts I have been seeing recently?! I have said it at least twice, but here it is again -
if you have to even ask this type of a question; it's a red flag.Also, as stated there are at least two different types of cheating: emotional & physical. [There may be more who knows]
Yes, I would consider online role playing to be cheating. Looking at porn is different. There is no actual human to human connection with looking at porn pictures or videos. I would consider it cheating because my SO is getting sexual gratification from someone OTHER then myself. So what, they're thousands of miles of away? Well, to me it matters. Whether it's the guy/girl next door or some random stranger miles away. Sexual gratification from someone other me - in my eyes is cheating. It also blurs the lines of respectable boundaries. I don't want my SO having phone sex or cybering another, just like I wouldn't want them to actually be fucking someone in the flesh. Unless it's me of course haha.
Cheating comes in all shapes & forms..if you're in a mutual closed relationship - your SO shouldn't be by themselves getting sexual anything from someone else.