Wednesday, 11 April 2012
So, in my last post I wrote how I confessed my feelings by email to my crush and was anxiously awaiting his response. He emailed me promptly back at 8:20 the next morning. With bated breath I eagerly opened his email. In the first tersely worded sentences, he told me he didn't want anything other than a friendship and didn't see himself "coupling with anyone." He then apologized if he gave me any indication of anything other than friendship.
I felt like someone ripped out my heart, and slammed it on the ground, shattering it into shards of glass and then shoved it back in my heart again. I emailed him back saying I was sorry and I didn't want to ruin our friendship (LIE!) and have things be totally awkward between us. (True.) Nothing. Now, I know he gets his emails directly on his phone (Hello, this is 2012 and almost EVERYONE has smart phones!) so I knew he got it.
I texted him the same thing and he texted me right back saying, "No problem, it's fine, blah blah blah." Fast-forward to Tuesday, I was looking over the balcony at school looking for my friend, and as fate would have it, at the very moment I was looking down, whom should be walking up the stairs, but my crush! He smiled and waved and I waved back and walked away.
I did NOT want to look like an idiot standing there with the shards of my heart in my hands saying, "Here ya go, please stab me again." As I was making my way across campus, I ran into one of my guy friends, whom interestingly enough, has the same name as my crush. I stopped to talk to him and my crush walks by us, stops, waits for me to wrap up our conversation (I made a big deal over saying goodbye to my guy friend with a longer than necessary hug), and proceeds to walk with me clear across campus!
I can't figure out what is going on with him! Why can't he just be like every other guy and be all weirded and freaked out and keep his distance? I am so confused!
Thoughts or comments?
Thanks for all the support and comments that y'all left. keep leaving me feedback. Relationships are complicated!
The Single Girl