Wednesday, 11 April 2012
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Crushed By My Crush
This post was submitted anonymously.So, in my last post I wrote how I confessed my feelings by email to my crush and was anxiously awaiting his response. He emailed me promptly back at 8:20 the next morning. With bated breath I eagerly opened his email. In the first tersely worded sentences, he told me he didn't want anything other than a friendship and didn't see himself "coupling with anyone." He then apologized if he gave me any indication of anything other than friendship.
I felt like someone ripped out my heart, and slammed it on the ground, shattering it into shards of glass and then shoved it back in my heart again. I emailed him back saying I was sorry and I didn't want to ruin our friendship (LIE!) and have things be totally awkward between us. (True.) Nothing. Now, I know he gets his emails directly on his phone (Hello, this is 2012 and almost EVERYONE has smart phones!) so I knew he got it.
I texted him the same thing and he texted me right back saying, "No problem, it's fine, blah blah blah." Fast-forward to Tuesday, I was looking over the balcony at school looking for my friend, and as fate would have it, at the very moment I was looking down, whom should be walking up the stairs, but my crush! He smiled and waved and I waved back and walked away.
I did NOT want to look like an idiot standing there with the shards of my heart in my hands saying, "Here ya go, please stab me again." As I was making my way across campus, I ran into one of my guy friends, whom interestingly enough, has the same name as my crush. I stopped to talk to him and my crush walks by us, stops, waits for me to wrap up our conversation (I made a big deal over saying goodbye to my guy friend with a longer than necessary hug), and proceeds to walk with me clear across campus!
I can't figure out what is going on with him! Why can't he just be like every other guy and be all weirded and freaked out and keep his distance? I am so confused!
Thoughts or comments?
Thanks for all the support and comments that y'all left. keep leaving me feedback. Relationships are complicated!
With Love,
The Single Girl
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Comments (44)
hmm he doesn't seem to be doing anything wrong. a guy friend should be able to walk with you without it being weird. i guess you only want a relationship or nothing.
You'll eventually stop hurting so much. He's just trying to be your friend, because you lied to him and said you wanted that. Try to stay calm, accepting, and mature about the situation, otherwise it will consume your thoughts. There will be other people you'll really want to date soon enough.
He really just wants to be friends...for whatever reason.
Well he's probably really flattered by what you said, and although he doesn't want a relationship, he wants to be friends and kind of soak up the good feelings as a result of being complimented. That doesn't mean he's trying to take advantage of you or anything; it might mean he just respects you for coming forward like that and he may feel like he discovered a new side of you. Maybe he likes being your friend, like a good guy. I would stick it out and see what happens with your friendship. Hopefully he's not just taking advantage of the situation and he really has good intentions, but only time will tell I guess.
At least he didn't fling his hand into your face or have you executed or pervert you in some immature show of power. I didn't even text my crush. He just happens to be a celebrity or a dictator. Love is blind to reason.
You know why? Because he actually want things to be like they were: not weird and not awkward. Not all guys shy away like you have leprosy when you confess you like them. You'll learn to move on and continue the friendship. No need to make it complicated.
i think it's really nice that he still wants a friendship with you! even though you guys aren't a seemingly good match, he seems like a good guy and you should be happy that he's mature enough to still want to talk and be friends :)
He probably just thinks it's cute and flattering that you like him but doesn't have any interest. LOL but I know it must suck being rejected like that...kudos to you for having balls.
well he's being mature... idk why you're getting upset about it.
Well you told him you wanted to be friends and nothing to be wierd, and although you didn't mean it...he is not a mind reader so he thinks you did actually mean it and hes doing the right thing, and he obviously does want to keep you as a friend. Try to be happy with that and move on. He is obviously not the one for you right now. There's plenty more fish in the sea :)
I remember my feelings used to be this dramatic when I was 18. Now I'm like, "He doesn't like me? Ah fuck em." But seriously, it's not the end of the world. He mentioned he wants friendship, so he's not going to just avoid you now. It will probably sting and be awkward for a while but try to maintain a friendship with him just like you would anyone else. Who knows, one day he might come around. Sometimes feeling change on down the road. I mean, don't count on it but you never know. It's happened to me.
Just offer to sleep with him already
I know my crush's twitter and can publicly profess my feelings for him on that, but I can't, because he's married and I'll lose my job, which I don't think is worth it, so danx gawd mi crush is my boss and I can't really do anything about it unless I wanna be unemployed and homeless. no way.
You got friend zoned?
Classic.
@MissAshley@lovelyish - Ummm not 18, but yeah, it just sucked being flat-out rejected, but I have been able to let it go and we are good friends again. We text, hang out and my heart didn't even skip a beat when he told me my hair looked good the other day. It's all good.
Don't lie to him then. You told him you didn't want things to be awkward and that you wanted to be friends like before...so he acted like he always had. You're just upset that he won't date you. You either accept his friendship or you cut off contact, but don't lie to him and expect him to read your mind.
Probably because he truly doesn't want to hurt you. Why would he make it awkward? You just did a very confident thing.
In fact, YOU need to stop acting weird and taking everything he says and does into account!! If you just relax and be a cool chick, chances are, you might fall for you! He could have the idea of being in a relationship with you in his head and eventually ask you out on a date.
Seriously, don't play games and don't act like it's the end of the world 'cuz guys see right through that.
He's trying not to be an asshole. He stated how he felt, so no accusations of mixed messages. If you can't be "just friends" with him, that's understandable, but that means you adjust your behavior, not that he must adjust his to make you feel comfortable.
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http://www.shoes4world.com/
he knows you've got interest and probably just wants to hit it and quit it. now he's trying to play you emotionally and have you hanging off his little finger. don't let him mess with your head, unless you want him to. probably gonna try to get in your pants and ditch you, leaving you even more confused. on to the next one!
i thought the picture was of an ecstasy pill and so i clicked on this article.
MY MISTAKE.
Crushed by your crush? I don't see how a rejection could've possibly gone better. You got off pretty easy.
I think he's truly trying to continue with exactly what you said, being friends again without making things awkward. I'm sorry you didn't get what you wanted, but there are always guys that will fit you better! Also, look at it this way, you'd be more crushed if it was actually something you invested in. It could always be worse, like a broken engagement or a divorce =.=
OH and good job for having the guts to let it be known to him how you felt. Otherwise, you would have been left too curious and maybe even angry at yourself for never getting to know.
Maybe just being truthful with him is a better idea. Guys will take whatever you say seriously. When girls go "Oh you don't have to get me anything for Valentine's Day blah blah" but secretly want something, the guy isn't going to read her mind.
Just be honest with him and say you need some space. He's not doing anything wrong.