A friend of mine, Amy, was reading her ex's Twitter feed the other night when she saw that he written something about her. "Road trip log #13: it wouldn't be a vacation without a voice mail from my ex-girlfriend looming in the upper left corner of my phone". She had left him a voice mail a few days prior because she has still not gotten some of her things back from the break-up, which was a year and a half ago. He still has six of her paintings, a china set, and various items of clothing. They never speak, and she just wanted her stuff back.
Amy was livid when she read the tweet. And she felt like she could not defend herself. She knew that the tweet wasn't that bad or accusative, but she felt like he was trying to portray her as the "crazy ex-girlfriend" to all of his friends, when in reality she has only called him this one time to get her stuff back. She also couldn't really say anything in reference to the tweet, because then he (and all his friends) would know that she read it.
I feel like this is a common problem. An ex saying something about another ex via social networking. It isn't classy in the least, but I feel like it is so commonplace that nearly everyone is guilty of it. Why do we do it? Do we want to hurt the people we used to love on public platform?
Readers:
Has an ex ever talked shit about you on the Internet? Have you ever done the same to an ex? What do you do when someone tarnishes your name on a social networking site?Image Source
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Comments (29)
Why does she care? Its only the internet and her real friends will stick by her.
It's TACKY.
Before the net, to acchieve the same end you'd have to take out a ad in a newspaper, or magazine...now you can do it with a few quick strokes...but it's still tacky. And might be actionable. So do yourself a favor...DON'T.
I have and learned to regret it. There is no good thing that can come of posting negative stuff like that. But my question is...why's she still follow his twitter?
I do. Only about one, though. Is it trash? Maybe. Did those events that I talk about happen? Yes, they did. What events? Abusing me mentally, emotionally, physically; destroying my stuff; almost got me kicked out of Disney World. Maybe it's my way of warning others about her, but also, I use it as a talking point about what went wrong in that relationship and what I should avoid in the future ones. I'm sure she talks trash me about all the time, too.
"Do we want to hurt the people we used to love on public platforms?" - umm, yes! Fucking lying assholes :]
@laytexduckie@xanga - When you have legitimate reasons and it was a serious relationship, I also feel there is good reason to mention what happened. No one else is going to defend you, so you might as well defend yourself and speak your side of the story. It's not ALWAYS okay to act this way because it sends a signal to others about the way you handle situations but if the person has upset you in countless ways, a little honesty can't hurt you.
@DanceofShadows@xanga - It's the mature thing to do.
My ex talked/talks (I don't check anymore so I'm not sure but probably) so much shit about me. I feel bad for him - I just wish he didn't care. I've talked shit on my private blog that no one read (except he hacked).
@blasphemicluv1@xanga - I know. We don't keep in contact anymore, and last I saw before I blocked her, she reeled in another oblivious guy. So, eh.
@blasphemicluv1@xanga - Haha following on twitter or my having posted online before and regretting it?
not that I know of. if any of them did tweet something, it would probably go something like..."day 155: my heart sinks deeper into the depths of doom without her
I miss her cute ways
be cute again with me prease
"
My ex never wrote anything about me after we broke up. I only wrote one thing almost immediately after we broke up. I don't remember exactly what it said, but it was something like, "When life gives you lemons, just say 'fuck the lemons' and bail." Which is actually only a quote from Forgetting Sarah Marshall. That was the only reference I ever made to our break up on Facebook. I wrote about him a lot on here and still do, but nothing was ever bad. I think it's kind of trashy to talk badly about an ex so publicly. I think you can tell a lot about a person by the way they react towards their ex's and I've always believed that so I always try to stay on good terms with my ex's and it hasn't failed me yet.
@laytexduckie@xanga - Yeah, similar situation happened in my life before too. Guess the best thing to do is just walk away from it and learn from the experience. On my part, it was challenging because my ex effectively used the indecisive card to his advantage. Made me value and appreciate singularity more than ever now, heh. Don't lose all hope though. Although one relationship is over, there will always be someone out there who will appreciate what your ex did not.
@DanceofShadows@xanga - Well, the moral of the story is we all learn from our mistakes whether it be from being outspoken or silent, haha. It's just twitter!
I'd be annoyed, but as long I wasn't identified by name, then whatever. I wouldn't even be following the loser's twitter anyway. Bragging about a voice mail from an ex on a public forum just shows how badly he wants to show how tough he is, which is a pretty childish way to go.
Although I'd be tempted to reply to his tweet with something along the lines of, "You make it sound like I made a booty call. I just called you because you haven't given me my stuff back, you idiot."
@blasphemicluv1@xanga - Totally get what you are saying. It was about over a year before I got into the next relationship after her. Although I am no longer in the recent relationship, it was a great breath of fresh air compared to the horrible one. And now, I know the flags and when to walk away and give them the signal of "I'm not going to take this shit." I've also noticed that with people in general, I've taken more of a stand for myself, so there was some good out of it.
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http://www.shoes4world.com/
I have never had a boyfriend so I have no idea how it is to have an ex.
Nah, I haven't really done anything/had exes that immature. However, I know a couple that are freaking unreal. They have broken up and gotten back together DOZENS or times. And EVERY time they break up, the nastiest posts are all over their FB's. Like, things that is anyone EVER sad to/about me, I wouldn't give them the time of day ever again. I just don't understand it.
That's an easy fix - delete them. Unfriend them. Unfollow them. Remove them from your social networking pages and you will never see what they have to say, unless you two have a mutual friend or something who asks "Did you see what (name) said on Twitter?" To which you can answer, "No, and I don't care." Period. End of story. The problem with most people now days is that they do shit like this - break up with someone and yet continue to keep them on social networking pages or in other aspects of their life out of nosiness or social "propriety" but wonder why they can't move on! Stop trying to be friends with your ex's and expect to move on! That's like saying "I know the dog is dead but we can still keep it."
I'm sure anyone who has been in contact with people will talk shit at some point in time about someone else. It's life. And others who read that kind of stuff that don't know the situation well will always have an opinion. The friend should get her stuff back and even delete this guy's number.
Why was she even looking at his Twitter feed to begin with? If she doesn't want to be portrayed as "the crazy ex-girlfriend" why is she bothering to check his account? If they haven't dated for a year & a half now, never speak etc, there's no reason why she should be looking at his Twitter. Right? Let him try to paint her as the crazy ex-girlfriend to his other friends, you & she & everyone else with half a brain knows better. However, she shouldn't be looking his account[s] because in doing so she is giving the impression that she IS the crazy ex-girlfriend. She left him a voice mail, that should have sufficed. Looking his Twitter is only going to cause her more angst & frustration. Hopefully, she'll get her stuff back & be able to fully move on.
I have never been in a situation with an ex-boyfriend where any shit talking has taken place. We simply don't talk to one another & we move on. I don't look at his accounts & I am sure he doesn't look at mine. It's the only way to move on & feel good about yourself.
Yes. My ex sent a friend request on facebook a couple months after he broke up with me because we agreed to remain friends. It was fine with me until I saw a comment his younger sister made on his most current status that said "I found a girl! She's the sweetest person and damn I'm lucky". This made me smile because I hadn't been sure if he would be able to move on. However, when I went to leave a congratulatory comment, I saw his sister put "OMG FINALLY, you won't be with a girl who's psycho like your ex!" He replied "lol yeah I know, she added me as a friend x.x" and his sister put "Wow stalker much?".
It irritated me, but I already knew that I didn't want to get involved so I just removed and blocked him along with his sisters.
@MHYLMF@xanga - Lesson learned...never NEVER NEVER add your ex to your friend list. My ex husband is ANTI Facebook (thank goodness), and I blocked the in laws LOOOOOONG ago (since they believe his lies and bad mouth me to my own children - who no longer want to have contact with them).
Someday my ex will have the decency to drink himself into an early grave. Until then, he'll cavort with trailer trash and drive our kids nuts. I deal with him as little as possible, and pay for the therapy to keep our kids sane.
Amy's ex sounds like a douche bag and I'm glad he's out of her life. She might as well consider her stuff a complete loss if he is going to act all high and mighty like she's out to get him back. What a loser!
I think there are a lot of reasons why people do it and they're all different. I'm sure some of that stuff is justified and other times, like this instance, it's not. It could be to hurt the person or it could be just to make a point. Maybe it's a good public service announcement.