We've recently talked about what our "type" is and whether or not we're too picky. I can't help wondering if the vast world of online dating, having expanded our opportunities to find someone, has also made it easier for us to ditch someone for the next best thing.
Before online dating, one actually had to venture out into the world to find a mate. You know, social venues. Bars. Clubs. Malls. Etc. With online dating, those who don't find themselves drawn to those scenes (hi!), and even those who do but are having trouble finding someone, now have a new avenue to explore.
With OkCupid, they send you three potential and/or ideal matches every so often called "quivers." If your profile is intriguing enough, you could be bombarded with messages from all different types and percentiles every week. Suddenly one could go from not having any potential mates to having a whole line-up to choose from.
While it's healthy to explore options and certainly isn't a sin to do so simultaneously, I can't help wondering if maybe having so many options hinders the ability for anyone to have a proper chance with someone. Not to mention, those profiles can reveal quite a bit and first impressions are always important.
Does having so many options make us pickier? Do you think online dating has affected dating this way?
Recommend
Comments (12)
I just see online dating as an easier way to find someone who matches the idea you have in your head of what is an ideal mate. The trouble with that is that if we think we've found our perfect match, then begin dating them to see they aren't all lollipops and rainbows like their profile suggested, then we get mad and THAT'S when we ditch them for the next in line.
Having more options typically makes us more picky about what we ultimately settle on, be it traditional dating or online dating. I find that the guys with the most choices are often the ones that have the most difficult time settling down.
no, i think the mtv dating show gave us the idea of "next".
before i opened up this post, i thought it was taken straight from here http://abcnews.go.com/Health/online-dating-sites-scientific-stigma/story?id=15509389 . i have gotten to hate online dating exactly because i think girls think exactly the wrong thing--that some stupid fucking number that okc gives you is an indication of anything realistic. the worst offenders are under the age of 24ish. at some point i stopped bothering with messaging those girls (though incidentally, the best girl i ever met through okc was 20).
also, let's be realistic, an intriguing profile doesn't get you messages. being hot does.
finally: from now on, let's not phrase post topics in question form. (this is not pointed at just you :p )
Do you want to be stuck with someone and look at other "better" options for the rest of your life? No? Then you should be picky....
Online dating is for the desperate. End of.
Ah! I'm on OKC right now, and I see exactly what you're saying. It's pretty easy for me to weed out who I'm interested in and not, but I've never been the type to have my eggs in multiple baskets. I almost feel wrong talking and exploring too many options. It's strange to me because I'm wondering what the proper etiquette is for an online dating site lol. It's within its name, so obviously I'm going to expect guys hitting on me. Yet, the whole idea still feels weird to me.
It's not even the fact that I'm meetings someone online then meeting in person. I met a boy off a video game first and we ended up have a good relationship of 3 years. It was long distance too, so we ended up flying coast to coast to one another. But you see? I met this guy on a video game, the dating just kind of happened eventually through shared interests and friendship. Just like it does when I meet a guy unexpectedly at an event or through a friend.
By being on a dating site and having profiles and matches, it kind of already sets up expectations...meh, help? lol
I don't think there's anything wrong with online dating and I definitely don't think there's anything wrong with being picky. I'd rather be fussy and not settle than be stuck in a mediocre relationship for the rest of my life.
I think it certainly makes it easier for women...
Isn't it a positive thing that having easier access to potential partners means that you aren't stuck in a relationship you're not happy with? I don't think it changes whether or not you're the type of person who is willing to actually work on your relationship or not, just how long an unsuccessful relationship gets dragged out.
I don't see anything wrong with online dating or being picky. And yes, I think the two are connected.
I agree with @TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - that an interesting profile usually is not what attracts people. to you. A hot picture is. I've noticed even on twitter, which I use to talk to people about baseball, not to find a date, that I have a decent amount of followers who commented on my appearance before something I said.
I have tried online dating and I enjoy the fact that if someone all the sudden creeps me out, I can stop talking to them. If their picture isn't to my liking I can do the same. In person this would be rude and harder to do. Some of you here may think I'm rude for making such statements, but at least I'm being honest.
I think online dating is a far better alternative than meeting people in bars and clubs, seeing that there are actually decent people worth dating on online dating sites.
i believe in good old fashion bumping into someone and having a meet and greet, or a blind date. The internet isnt much of a try, its judged solely on appearance not what your getting to know when u see or meet someone physically.
personally online dating has made it easier for people to move on and in that sense it is healthier.. kind of..