Tuesday, 10 April 2012
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Tanning Your...Penis
So today I was talking with my friend Jake. Jake is a super sweet guy and we have been friends for a long time now, and talk about practically anything with each other. We began on the topic of spring break, and summer vacation just around the corner, too. He told me that he would be going to the the beach, and was going to get laid as much as possible.
Jake has a slight obsession with self spray tanning, so I joked that he would be able to quit it for a week or two, which he replied with:
"Not completely. I'm not going to a freaking nude beach. I still gotta spray (tan) my butt and penis." I could understand maybe spray tanning his butt. But his penis? Call me naive, but I just had never thought he spray tanned that, especially because that's just chemicals in a bottle. There's no better way to guarantee that his penis will shrivel up and die before he even hits 40.
In shock, I asked him if he really did spray that, and he answered with, "Of course, the ladies dig it." I like to think that I'm a lady, but I'm not digging that. It just seems like something that is so bad for your health. Not to say that spray tanning itself isn't bad enough for you... but on your penis? Really?
So umm, have you ever spray tanned your penis or vagina? Have you ever been with someone who has? What do you think about spray tanning your bits in general?
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Comments (41)
I'm sure it isn't uncommon. I personally HATE tan lines so it's understandable.
I don't spray tan anything, LOL. I thought this was going to be about REAL tanning and I was like OUCH...why? Sunburned nipples are bad enough.
"It's a Jersey thing"
I'm still trying to understand why any sane man spray tans in general.
I don't know how I feel about it. I guess if they feel insecure or dislike the mis-match colors of their skin, it's fine. I've never ran across anything like this.
Spray tan chemicals on penis, inside vagina..doesn't sound like a good combo in the long run if you ask me.
I don't think it's healthy, most things you use with lots of chemicals say to stay away from your genitals, nipples, and/or face. Sun tanning wise you're not supposed to tan your penis either, sooo. Is he a really pale guy? Maybe he has a complex about his skin tone. But hey if he thinks people are into spray tans it's his body to tamper with.
I used to just spray tan my junk and then leave everything else pasty pale. That way when the ladies would open everything up, this Oompa Loompa orange monster would spring out and I'd be like "My wang is orange but the rest of me is not! Is your mind not blown!?"
I think I'll pass on that. I'll just remain pale all over and count on a good physique and good fashion sense to get me by.
This post made me chuckle. I can only imagine what an orange-y looking penis would look like.
No, never - but that's hilarious..
Thats like the stupidest crap I've ever heard LOL but its funny too. Umm I think that part of the male body should be left alone, honestly I wouldn't want to sleep with a guy who spray tanned his ding a dong. It makes me wonder what kind of infection I can get.
@tokyoexpressman@xanga - i just choked on my soda i was laughing so hard. lol. epic
hahaha oh yeah he sounds like a really sweet guy
I honestly thought for the longest time that your penis was naturally supposed to be darker than the rest of your body. lol if it wasn't that way naturally I wouldn't be putting chemicals on it, and I wouldn't want to uhhh tan it with UV rays either. Sounds dangerous.
would it be toxic if you ingest that shit?
Wouldn't that... Hurt?.. I wouldn't know, I dont spray tan, or have a penis soo....
Geez, and to think, if a gal went down on spray-tan penis man, would she suck the tan right off him??
hahaha--- I suppose you could think that you don't dig the tanned P. But have you actually seen it to know or just guessing?
'have you ever spray tanned your penis or vagina?'
...I question some peoples mental health.
hahaha whaaat? I mean isn't it a little darker than the normal skin tone anyway? how dark is he getting spray tanned?
lmao it would look like a carrot!
You can't spray tan your vagina! It's inside your body.
But either way the practice sounds weird.
I don't need to; my penis is naturally tan.
Yuck all around. Just leave it be.
Hahahaha what?? That's just ridiculous. I personally think spray tans in general are silly, and this just pushes that belief further. :P