Break-ups suck. There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Even the relatively clean, mutual break-ups sting a little. There's the sudden unburdening of emotions. The picking up things left behind at one another's apartment.
Some people like to get rid of the entire memory. Pictures burned. Texts and emails deleted. Sentimental gifts thrown in the trash. Others may pretend the little mementos don't exist and allow them to collect dust wherever they may be hiding.
I guess there are good and bad things about keeping mementos from a relationship. I'm a rather sentimental girl and, if I haven't already written some mediocre story about a love interest, I like to keep small things. I don't see harm in remembering them fondly or indulging in the emotions often entangled with remembering them.
Then again, we sometimes hear stories of current love interests who don't like the fact that you've held onto such and such that so and so gave you however long ago. It could possibly create quite a tiff.
Do you keep mementos from a relationship? Why or why not? Do you think it's justifiable for an SO to get mad about you keeping something from a past relationship?
(Image Source)
Recommend
Comments (40)
I wonder if people keep certain items from a relationship because they were the ones who initiated the break up. On the flipside then I wonder if they get rid of items because they weren't the ones who initiated the breakup.
I only keep the locks of hair I clip off my (ex)-girlfriends while they sleep. I like to sit and smell those sometimes when I get nostalgic or feel lonely. I now cry at the scent of Pantene Pro-V. True story.
Everything else gets tossed though.
I kept notes and pictures but have put them in a place I wont have to see them often. I think it's important to keep some small things that meant something to you at the time because they can remind you of a time when that person was a positive person in your life and when you're old it'll be a fun thing to look at.
My best friend has a box of stuff from when my fiancee broke up with me right before our wedding. It's been almost 3 years and I'm still not sure if I'm ready to see the stuff again, but I don't want to just have it thrown away either. At least he never gave me very much so it's not a bother to keep around for a while longer. God that's depressing....
I've only had one serious relationship, and nope. I threw that stuff away. Why hold on to remnants of a failed relationship?
@tokyoexpressman@xanga - OMG. i laughed so hard
regarding the post, i keep things i need and toss what i don't. i've got an awesome five speed mixer and a pretty bracelet, but i tossed the useless love letters and stuffed animals
i KEEP them, but its like out of sight, out of mind sort of thing. but the weird thing is, my ex still keeps the gift i gave him while we were together. when we were together, i ended up studying abroad, and he came up with this idea to get us bears to remind us of each other, so i got him one of me and he got me one of him. we both took those bears everywhere we went while together. now that we're over, i put mine on my dresser, because it's far too cute to throw away. he actually still brings it around, because he's so attached to it.
now i gave back the tiffany necklace he gave me. kind of wish i didn't...
on the other hand, if she chucked all the shit from her old relationships, she'll probably do the same with the stuff you give her. at least you'll know ahead of time not to buy her nice things.
i've never really gotten a gift for anyone. the most i've ever given a girl was a photo of the two of us at a formal event. i wonder if she still has it. i still have my copy, along with a note she gave me when i graduated--more because no one had ever done something so simple, yet so sweet for me (and since then, nothing has ever come close).
@tokyoexpressman@xanga - shit, that's SO much smarter than what i've been doing. i just save toenail clippings.
I kept some but its somewhere collecting dust. I do keep a watch, games, and stuff animals but it doesn't bother me anymore. I gave back cards and other stuff that I don't remember. I'm getting all the clothes that was given to me by ex and donating it to the less fortunate.
I know she keeps all the things I gave her. A few Tiffany jewelry, clothes, stuff animals, cards, pictures, and etc.
But if you're still attached to them and your wounds is fresh. It is best to put everything together and put them out of sight for now.
I like to keep mementos or write down detailed accounts of the experiences that had huge impacts on my life so I can look back on them when I'm older. I don't want to forget the most important things that shaped who I am, and who I will be, even if they're traumatic.
Also, my ex and I had five stuffed animals that we used as puppets: a red squirrel, a large toad with a Santa hat, a small turtle, a giant anteater (the species, not so much giant in size), and a long-horned cow. They brought us tons of laughter and entertainment for years. Our friends adored them. The stuffed animals all had individual personalities, voices, and elaborate backstories, and even though this may sound crazy, they were like our weird little family. Two of the stuffed animals were technically mine, but I let my ex keep them all when he dumped me. It felt wrong to break them up.
Well, I was showered with gifts. Purses, shoes, clothes, lingerie, fancy watches, gadgets, video games, galaxy tablet, treadmill, tv stand, ETC. So HELLL NOOO, I will not throw, sell, or give those away! --especially 2 years worth of that stuff! lol. I can't rid myself of my recent ex if I tried!
So really I put away all our pictures, little trinkets, and ticket stubs to all the events we attended together, because honestly, seeing ticket stubs and recalling old events and future non-existent plans hurt more. I just disassociate him from the practical things he's given me that I use often.
One life, one love.
I wouldn't be with a person who keeps shit from a previous relationship for sentimental reasons.
Well, I would still be with them, but it would certainly "come up missing"/disappear one day.
Me: "Oh no! Look hun! The house was robbed and all they took was the photo of you and (ex)!"
Her: "Bullshit, you got rid of it, didn't you?!"
Me: *says like a gangsta* "Do sumthin'."
Is it of value? Is it something that looks nice or that I can use to decorate? If yes, I will but I'm not that emotionally attached to things. Once we broke up, it lost all emotional meaning and just became another piece of junk. No lie, it's tough for me to get emotionally attached to people and harder to get attached to things. I have almost all the things an ex gave me but most of it, I couldn't tell you if I bought it or if he did. If my current has a problem with something, he replaces it and I can gget rid of the old one with the new. He has no problem and the only thing I had a problem with was a lighter case he carved his ex's initials in. He carved his initials + Hers 4 ever and I made him get rid of it but other than that, I have no problem with it and neither does he.
I keep things my ex's have given me because I'm not about to throw useful things away - that's just stupid. Also, you can never erase someone's ex from their life - they can throw away all the mementoes in the world but unless you plan on giving them amnesia and erasing their past from their brain, you can NEVER get rid of those memories.
The only thing I kept from my last relationship were my kids.
Anything before that were unimportant little things that I used. Like a little ring holder, that isn't used now....but it looks pretty.
I keep a lot of the stuff. They're memories and sometimes it's nice to flip through them and relive that time in my life. Unless you are constantly pulling your ex's stuff out and sobbing over it, I really don't think a current SO has the right to say anything. I wouldn't want to date a guy who asked me to deny or forget the life that I had before I met him.
I got rid of a lot of pictures of my ex and me. Any cards for holidays and birthdays too. I only kept a few mementos. 1 being a mini fridge that is of great use. I really don't think of him when I see it. He also bought me a small, silver jewelry box with my name engraved on it. It's beautiful and I keep small earrings and good jewelry in it. Again I don't think of him when I see it. We've been broken up for so long he doesn't really cross my mind that much these days.
I have a bracelet from a guy I made out with once, which I borrowed from him the next time we met (at the same friend's house party) and he said I could keep. Lol. I've only met him those two times! And when I was in primary school, I used to keep broken-off pencil leads that one boy gave me. I was a weird kid. :P Then again, I guess he was a weird kid for giving them to me.
I am very sentimental too but I prefer not to keep anything from a past relationship. If it's over, it's over and when a relationship comes to an end there is a big bonfire in my backyard. My friends do the same, except one who keeps certain stuff like cell phones or things like that which are kind of expensive gifts. And no... no SO should get mad of you keeping something of a past relationship if its just because you liked the object or whatever
I keep everything! It's funny that I read this article today, because over the past weekend, I was cleaning out my room at my parent's house, because I'm about to graduate college and I'm getting ready to move down south. Through cleaning my room I came across boxes of old notes, pictures, gifts and all things ex-boyfriend. I threw out almost all that I had saved, because I felt that it wasn't relevant to my life anymore. I am now happily dating a guy from college and am moving down south with him after graduation. I figured there was no need for all of the old mementos. I also thought that it might be offensive to my current boyfriend if I had those old memories laying about. I didn't ask him how he would feel, but I know that if the situation was flipped that I would be a little upset if he kept mementos from his old girlfriends. I would just be wondering why he would keep them if he was happy with me, you know? I feel that keeping all those mementos, at a certain point, is just irrelevant. After you've been apart for ten years, why do you still need those old letters that you wrote to each other in high school? And why do you need pictures of him laying about to remind you of old, probably not so good times?
It depends. How messy was the break-up? Does leaving things of his, he gave me or left at my place cause me pain & grief? Does a respectable amount of time go by before he's with another girl? I mean these all questions that depending on their answer would pull me on keeping a few things or a lot of things of his around or trashing every little aspect that reminds me of him.
If it's a mutual break-up etc. I don't see any harm in keeping a letter or a stuffed animal around to remind me of the good times. However, I have a pretty good memory so it's not really needed for me to keep physical things of a break-up around me to remind me. I figure this is an 'each to their own' type of deal here..if you feel okay with keeping things around post break-up do it. If not, burn it all! haha.
I used to get rid of things. From my past 4-year relationship, I refuse to throw/burn/whatever things that we shared. Other, less important relationships I've had I've definitely gotten rid of things and I can't say that I regret it. But I think keeping things from past relationships [in some instances] is good because then you can still look back on a period in your life and remember what you were, how you've grown, what you want in a relationship, what you don't. It's all little reminders. But I think it's best to keep them out of plain sight. Just things to keep like old memories in the closet.
I only memento I kept was something I wrote about an ex-boyfriend listing out his pros and cons. The cons definitely outweighed the pros.
I keep them because I keep mostly everything that is a strong or important or even just really good memory in my mind. Whether it's relationship gifts that meant something or cute letters or notes, I do the same for fun events with friends or family and gifts and things like that. It's really important to me that I remember these things. Cause they helped shape me into who I am and my memory is nowhere close to 100%.
No SO I've ever had has chastised me for it, and I'm glad because they have no right to. And most of them usually think it's cool or do the same. So I guess I've been lucky by not having someone too jealous or paranoid.