When I was about sixteen my mother told me that she did not believe in "soul-mates". This amazed me for more than a few reasons. Firstly, my mother has never been divorced and is still married happily to my father. They got married when she was only nineteen and have just miraculously celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. So by all means I thought that my mother had found "the One".
My mother told me that if my father ever left her that she would be fine. Coming from someone who has spent more than half her life with someone, it amazed me. I wasn't sure whether or not my parent's marriage wasn't what I thought it was, or if maybe she had a point.
I think that I share my mother's philosophy. I don't believe in "the One". I think that people have multiple "soul-mates" and they don't even have to be someone that you are romantically involved with. I don't think that makes the people you love any less special either.
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Comments (98)
There can only be one.
"One ring to rule them all..." (Did I really just make a crack at my own post?) LAWL.
It's a lot easier for people to believe in finding their "one true love". It's easy to understand, digest, and require no though at all.
Things are never that basic though.
I think you have a quite developed idea about what relationships can be between people.
The main point is relationships are complex, let along human interactions. There are very few limitations with what defines a relationship, as a result of that.
It is a simple and elegant concept, but fundamentally wrong. It promotes a sense of fatalism when approaching matters of love and robs one of self-responsibility. It also promotes reckless and stupid behavior out of the irrational fear that the person you lose today might have been "the one". And it promotes an overly sentimental view of the past that fails to appreciate what one has in the present.
nah.
Lol I can't believe people believe in soul mates
No, I don't. Like you said, I believe in many "soul mates" (or some would say "kindred spirits") are put into our lives at different times for different reasons, whether romantically or platonically. I fully believe I have a choice with who I end up with and stay with--a successful relationship requires work, not fate.
I think part of the reason your mother stayed with your father is that she doesn't believe in 'the one.' If there's 'the one' then you might have not found them, meaning you're with someone that's 'wrong for you.' Whereas if there is no 'one' there is just what you make of every relationship you're in, including the current one. Not to say that it's all about the work you put into it; there is a basic level of compatibility and there is the chance that for one reason or another people will grow apart and be unable to repair that rift. But not having the idea of 'the one' might make it easier to say 'it's not him (her), it's just this thing we're going through.' So, in a word, no.
Also, I remember reading (somewhere) that they found that geographical proximity was incredibly important to couples (formation and persistence). Like, it was a better indicator of relationship success than matching interests, etc. Go figure, huh?
@makerm7@xanga - Yes, Kindred Spirits I can get on board with.
@LightBlue21@xanga - I believe where there is a will, there is a way.
If I were God, I would make soul mates.
http://xf3.xanga.com/d40f6613c0431280500843/o223455522.png
Believe it.
soulmates means to me that the person is treated like VIP because the person is your other lost "half" and you'd treat/value the person with honor, love and respect just like you'd treat yourself. you don't literally "need" anyone, but I'd like to feel that I'm very special to a guy and he believes that I'm "the one" for him. the difference between my current guy and past guys is that this guy doesn't think I'm needy like the others have, but he likes feeling "needed" by me. so neither of us find the other annoying since we're compatible and don't see it as being "needy" but mutual desire.
Personally if I really believed I had one true soul mate I doubt he would even be alive in this lifetime. I read somewhere that the majority of people marry someone within 20 miles of where they live.
Realistically, there's probably quite a few people even better suited for me than my current boyfriend. But the fact that we have took the time and work and patience to build what we have now says more to me than any other man could offer.
I also have a friend whose been in love more than once and she would say that "you love every person differently." I like that sentiment. Most people who lose a S/O/wife/husband early on in life eventually end up with someone else in the future. As long as each relationship is true I see nothing wrong with having multiple lovers throughout one's lifetime.
Sure, the belief in having 'multi soulmates' is the safe way to go. You can tell yourself again and again that you'll be fine, you'll find someone else, blah blah. It's so easy. But believing in the 'one' is much harder, it's a challenge, it's novel worthy. You find yourself in love and wonder, 'Is this the one?' And if you say no, well... that just spoils the magic of love forever.
You may see your partner as "the one" but do they? That's the crappy part about it. The only one thing exist is "the one" love both partners create and share together.
no.
i wish i did, but i don't really anymore. it would be nice, but it just seems unlikely.
kindred spirit for the win!
and i have many of these
I like the idea of multiple soul mates. gives me hope that someone out there is as crazy as mee
lol no. what a silly idea. i'm actually kind of surprised that no one here has agreed with that concept.
@reesa14@xanga - wow is that true? my limit is within 4 subway stops of me. i consider a girl long distance otherwise. there's also some statistic (with questionable reliability) that like 80% of alumni from my school marry someone also from the school. whoda thunk.
@corporatecrow@xanga - Odds do not exist in the absence of time. Your life took an eternity to make. Do the math.
yup and she failed. so, kinda a worthless ambition/investment.
no reason to save persephone if she will just consensually abscond your 'love'.
I do. My husband is my angel sent from above - he is the one who has been there with me through just about everything. He's the right one for me is what I'm saying. And that doesn't mean we don't work through things and try hard to make our relationship work. Every day that we are married, is a day to work thru our difficulties and learn to love each other for the rest of our days. Before I met my husband, there were several guys that I knew were not the one. There just was not the spark and connection I felt with my husband, and I knew it very soon after meeting him. Can't explain it but yes there is someone for everyone out there; just a matter of whether we find them or not.
no. I think I believed it as a kid, but I gave up on that.
Nope. I believe in multiple possibilities.
I think you kind of make someone you're one. I used to always just tell my ex that he was my person because I don't really believe in the idea of there only being one person. I think it's a very nice idea and if it is true then that's awesome, but there are 7 billion people in the world. What are the chances that only one of those people is right for you? I think that you can find the perfect person for you and a soulmate of types, but I don't think that means that that person is the only one for you. There is definitely a certain spark with people though. I always felt that spark and connection with my ex and he did, too. Which is probably one of the reasons that neither of us are really done.