It hardly matters whether it's a lover, a friend, or a blind date. Getting stood up sucks no matter how you look at it. And I can't think of any real valid excuse that would ever justify it (unless an emergency or something, though I'd think I'd be told about that eventually...).
I've had my fair share of the "fade-outs." You know the thing where a person responds to you less and less until they're no more. I've dealt with a few flakes too. I feel like being flaked out on differs from being stood up. Flakes don't ever really confirm plans. They kind of skate around the whole idea and when the proposed time comes, they're nowhere to be found or they tell you, "Hey I can't go because work tomorrow."
No, standing a person up comes after confirming plans with someone. After saying, "Yes, I will be there. I will see you at this time at this place. We will do this together."
That I've only had happen a couple times. Once by the last guy I dated. He was supposed to join me at a dance, though I never heard from him. To his credit, my phone was malfunctioning. I wasn't receiving texts, though I could send them perfectly. I chalk it up to miscommunication and hormones for the little dispute we had later once my phone was fully functioning.
My ex stood me up once and blatantly. Granted, we were going through a rough patch at the time but we had been dating for nearly seven months by then. I had asked him over for dinner one night and spent the day cleaning, going grocery shopping to get the ingredients, etc. Dinner time rolls around and I haven't heard a word. I start to make the meal, thinking he may show up a little later. Nope. There I was with two steaks and a bottle of wine for one.
When I asked him about it later that night, he skated around an apology. He knew we had plans and that he "dropped the ball on this one." His excuse was that he was too lazy. Someone needed to "light a fire under his ass" because he wasn't feeling like anything that night. Well, thanks for the leftovers.
Have you ever been stood up? How did you deal with it?
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Comments (19)
That's the saddest pictures ever @_@, and I'm sorry your ex was a git. "Too lazy?" To what? Go visit his gf? That's about the worst excuse I've ever heard.
I got stood up once, and it actually turned out to be a great night. She wasn't my gf though.
I figure if it happens again, oh well sure it'll suck at the time, but, that person obviously didn't have enough tact or personality to further a relationship with, so she actually did me a favor by not showing up.
standing me up is probably the best way to get on my shit list. and standing me up when you've made me wait for you to eat is *definitely* the best way to put me in a shitty mood. i won't go past a second date with a girl unless i know she's capable of keeping plans she makes (i have methods of determining this). i put up with it once during grad school and swore i never would again.
I once had a bf who sent me an "oh hey, is today 1 year? fuck! i should have planned something, now i have too much work!" text. we are no longer together.
i think things can happen; i've been canceled on, and i've had to cancel things, but there has always been 6 hrs. notice or so, never just vacant lonely space, though i must say, it's better to be stood up while you have steak and wine than while you do not.... still sucks though, sorry girl!
I've never been stood up. I've had dates have something come up and they are no longer able to make it, but I've never been somewhere waiting and have them just never show up or try to contact me. Depending on the situation, that would definitely be the last time I would try to hang out with that person though. Well, if it was a date I'd end things, but if it was one of my good friends and they really just forgot or fell asleep or whatever, I'd probably just let it slide.
The last guy I talked to on a dating site was a flake.
Its never happened to me. But most of the guys I went out with were losers who literally NEVER took me out so I guess I've never had that opportunity. (Me and my current boyfriend go out quite a bit). But I had a friend who would do that to me a few times. Doesn't really matter who it is, Im sure it sucks to be stood up by anyone.
What your ex did was shitty, but why start to cook dinner before double-checking with him? He hadn't told you a time or gotten in touch with you, so...personally I wouldn't have started cooking (I mean, it's steak, it takes ten minutes max) until he'd arrived.
I was stood up recently. We made plans the day before for hanging and on the day we concreted plans. I called before leaving with no answer. Thinking that maybe he was busy at the moment, I went ahead and drove an hour. I called multiple times (with plenty of time in-between calls) but no answer. Drove back and haven't heard from the guy since. And he's definitely alive because he posts on Facebook.
Those I've told about it say I should de-friend him, but I'm not that angry about it. Why should I be angry when he's the one missing out? Totally his loss. I moved on.
Nope.
Very simple. If one stands you up, you need not bother ever having anything to do with the one. What's the problem here? It is not even worth the effort to think about this.
Yes...Twice....I just brushed it off and moved on. Their loss not mine.
I kind of figure that is someone is really standing you up, then you've won out... you don't have to see a person that is obviously not very interested in seeing you. Hopefully you picked a spot with something else that's fun to look for, so your evening doesn't go completely to waste.
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - I have kind of gotten the impression you don't do many second dates anyway? Please, correct me if I'm wrong... just an impression i've gotten!
i've been stood up by the same person too many times. my hope stood in the way of my vision and seeing what a total jerk this person is. each time, he offered over the top excuses that i didn't believe but when he persisted in seeing me again, i gave him the major benefit of the doubt. now i just know that he got a thrill out of the lying and playing with my hope. he's out for good now. i hope any person that stands you up is out the first time. Mostly, I hope you never are stood up again!
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@PassionFruit06@xanga - hahaha that's not true!! well, it is, but for a different reason than you think. the girls in my city are generally pretty bitchy, and i have a really low tolerance for that. i'm usually not going to waste my time if i get a bad first impression.
grow up, it happens
nope cant say that i have. Everyone i dated i usually knew fairly well before going out with them.
My only time was once earlier this year. She and i had made plans to go to dinner with a couple of friends. When i showed up to pick her up she didnt answer her phone, and she lived in a gated community so i had no way of getting in, nor did i really want to since it was our first date. I waited for like 25 minutes and then left. She claimed to have not heard her phone and was incredibly embarassed when she called an hour later. We ended up hanging out later that night, but it definitely was a knock on her character. It's funny because i gave her the benefit of the doubt at first, but it happened again later. Funny thing was, our mutual friend told me she was head over heels for me. But im not going to deal with someone that's going to be that irresponsible. All in all, just forget about it and move on. If it was an honest mistake, you'll be able to tell. If not, they werent worth your time in the first place.