Monday, 02 April 2012
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10 Reasons Why Some People Cheat
The thing that I learned in all my years of dating is that things can really go beautifully. Love is sweet and it is empowering, but like life, it can have its glitches. For some strange reason whenever a woman or man sees a woman or man cheating, no one ever looks on the inside to find out what may be the reason why they did.
Here are some of the reasons I have found why people cheat. This isn't in any order:
1. They feel like in some way, the relationship is already over.
Has anyone ever had that point in a relationship where it just doesn’t feel like love or a union anymore? At some point in the relationship, either the relationship is about you or him. It’s about something, but it's not about you and them. Whenever you lost that connection with each other, you eventually find a connection with someone else.2. You lost the very thing that made you special.
If you want a significant other to not cheat on you, it helps to have something to bring to the table about them. Not just anything physical, but something else. The easiest part is having something special, often times the hardest part is keeping it or having it evolve in the relationship.3. You left what's practically yours out for grabs.
Has anyone ever heard of the phrase “finders keepers losers weepers”? The same rules apply for a relationship. If you aren’t up to remind your man everyday who keeps his attention and his heart, someone might feel the need to swipe it from under you.4. To satisfy your insecurities about being cheated on.
While a little bit of jealousy can be good for a relationship, too much of it will push a person to defy you just to spite you. Not a lot of men or women understand that being openly afraid of being cheated on is reverse psychology. The more you tell someone not to do it and having nothing to show for it, the closer and closer they will get to breaking your heart, just to show you who is the true owner of their body and soul. None of that would happen, if you only gave them some reasons as to why they shouldn’t. Substance, substance, substance.5. Because, the truth is the girl or guy they are interested in has something you lack.
It's a fact of life: wherever there is someone good, there is always someone better. And a person that isn't in love will always search around for the bigger and better sell.6. He/She is not that relationship person anymore or they lost their ability to love.
There’s a point in a person’s life where after so many disappointments in their relationships, all a person wants to do is something till they feel ready to love again. Sometimes, they want to be the first one to disappoint before they ever get a reason to be discouraged. Which one do you think will be easier? Breaking up something decent for free ass or some healing solitude or simply going to get it?7. You don’t really have what your lover is looking for.
Whether you are sexually inflexible to his fantasies, physically unsurprising or just all around predictable, some people cheat to satisfy the hunger of getting something new.8. Because there may be no passion in the way you love someone.
If it doesn’t seem like there is any fire or interest in the way you kiss, the way you touch them, the way you have sex, or even the way you look at the person, eventually they'll feel the need to look for some passion. So, where are they going to get it? I don't know, and nobody has a clue about what form it will come in. They’ll probably not get lovemaking from another person, but at least it feels like you are wanted and desired.9. He/She simply wants it right now.
Some people wait, some people masturbate. Anything to see to it that they don't complain. Some people just pluck a person off the street to screw. They'll have to do something if they can't do you. The sad reality is that not everyone's penis or vagina waits for anyone. So, if you want to keep it yours, work it out when you can.10. Because the guy/girl has the weakest willpower you ever known. Plain and simple!
The ugly truth is that everybody has fantasies about anyone or anything at anytime any place. It happens. The trick is to remember that if it is simply a fantasy, it should also stay a fantasy. The reality is you have a lover you can always work it out with or talk about it with. If by chance a person cheats, this could mean his willpower is lacking.There are thousands of reasons why someone would ever want to cheat. Most of it can have to do with the state of the relationship or the things the opposite lover did. But before anything happens, somebody better talk to somebody about their issues!
Do you agree with this list? Why do people cheat?
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Comments (32)
I can sum it up in one sentence: Becuase they're too stupid and selfish to break up with their boyfriend/girlfriend when they feel like its over.
I was cheated on. It was awful.
Now, I want to cheat on her for making me hurt and for ruining what we had.
@mr_flo@xanga - Wronging a wrong does not right the wrong. You shouldn't prove how low they are by stooping to that level yourself. It's better to just leave and move on with your life; find someone who treats you with respect.
Why people cheat? Because they care more about their selfish desires than treating another person decently.
I think it is pretty sad when someone's aging causes a lack of physical beauty- a lack of appreciation and will to improve the relationship and then it drives the partner to cheat.. like with aging women being left for or cheated on with younger/prettier/Other women- I think cheating and losing commitment in general are one of the most hurtful things people can do to others.
Actually, cheating isn't all about sex and well... "cheating"...
Sometimes, people have something lacking in themselves and someone starts giving them that specific attention. Sometimes it's not "oh, I want sex", sometimes it's emotional and eventually it starts going down other paths.
Heh, cheaters are definitely motivated by their own selfish needs. They have little concern for those they hurt even though they claim they care for the person they cheat on. Why is it always about placing blame elsewhere? Why the need to justify bad behavior? If a person is that unhappy/unsatisfied in a relationship then get the hell out.
Number 8 is screaming at me.
these are excuses, not reasons.
I think it can come down to just three reasons:
1) Not having the character to own up and say "it's over," first. (I think about 8 of the above 'reasons' are actually this in disguise).2) Loss/lapse of good judgement (e.g. drinking, or anger) and associated giving in to temptation.3) Unclear expectations in the relationship to begin with; i.e. 'cheater' wasn't aware what they were doing would be construed that way.
I expect 2 and 3 are followed by genuine remorse and can be, in some situations, forgiven once. But I've never actually had to deal with it, so there's that grain of salt.
I can't think of reasons being anything but excuses...reasons are for good things....excuses for bad...all equals out to be the same. That's just how I see it though. Not defending just another way to look at the definition I suppose.
Overall, everyone is selfish. We tend to do everything out of selfishness. Or, maybe I'm just good at turning a good thing into a bad example. For example, anyone who does good things does it for selfish reasons because they want everyone to see how good they really are. Then you have those who don't care about the good, and do things selfishly because they want to feel good in other ways that aren't so good in other's views. Really the discussion of cheating is overrated and over discussed. It happens, it won't stop and yeah, it's because people are selfish and every reason/excuse posted works for any individual. Reasons/excuses are different for each person because they each have different needs.
Now my question is, should our culture really been taught to believe in monogamy when it's evident we're a species that has a hard time practicing it? (Not happy with how I questioned that but I hope it makes sense to what I'm trying to ask.)
People are opportunists. If they think they can get away with it, they'll do it. It's only when they get burned, that they learn their lesson. But then again, sometimes they never learn.
Because he/she is too cowardly to break up.
I've been cheated on by an ex and then cheated on the next one... cheating sucks
They are selfish indeed. I was cheated on and it was painful. I'm sure I wasn't the perfect boyfriend but I did my best to give her all that I can. I worked hard at my job and I was faithful. She always wanted more and more, it was never enough. Four years down the drain and half a year later, she still have yet to give me a valid reason/excuse. Even though she seem happy in her new relationship, she still stalk my social network quite often.
@redlight3@xanga - I agreed that people are opportunists, that's how my exgf. She still have yet to learn her lesson.
No one is perfect, but there are no excuses or reasons for cheating. If you don't enjoy your relationship or you feel your as if your partner isn't fulfilling your needs for whatever it is. A simple talk will help, if not then break if off and find another. Do it the right way!
Because you get sick of having pizza every single day. After a while you want to try tasting tacos or hambugers or salad or........ ;)
Because people don't have the balls to end their relationship first.
because they are a big pile of poo that likes to spew bullshit. he/she thinks they are the smooth criminals with their love affair/secret second life
to spite that matherfackin biatch for cheating on him/her
both be cuhrajeeO.o don't cheat on a psycho or else they might hunt you down and beat your ass, then nobody will really feel sorry for you. no justification for cheating nor physical retaliation against the cheater, but they cuhrajeeeeeee:D the cheater doesn't feel that bad for cheating on another cheater. they feel that they "got even."
he called me purdy
and most of his words just touch mi heart
my boifran doesn't pay attention to me, but thinks I'm annoying and calls me needy
he's an insensitive asswipe.
you listen and understand me...but she degrades me and make me feel like I can't ever do anything right
this girl...she makes me feel wanted. I can't wait to talk to her. (this one is something that a married guy actually told me. not his exact words because it was a while ago and I don't remember, but similar to this.)
I was drunk and it was a one time thing. I never meant to hurt you. (savage horndog alert)
the "new" feeling. some people get anxious when things settle down and get comfortable, which is suppose to be a good sign, yet they are greedy and keep wanting more and keep wondering what's out there. they constantly have schoolboy/schoolgirl daydreams
when they have the chance, they might carry out their fantasies.
pompous bastards. he/she doesn't care about the relationship anymore, but doesn't break up, not because they are afraid, but they want their s.o. to catch them with another. the jealousy feeds his/her ego because seeing a catfight between his/her angry s.o. and the other man/woman is a sick fix. the cheater probably doesn't care if he loses either one. they'll find yet another unlucky victim to continue their serial cheating.
there's possibly more that I've heard but I'll leave it at that.
@LKJSlain@xanga - Agree completely. I have read multiple accounts (male and female) of individuals cheating on their partners, but not due to any fault by their significant other. Most were molestation victims that as they grew up, craved constant attention/affection of any kind, from anyone. Whether or not they were in a relationship did not matter. They claim that they "couldn't control the urges, no matter how hard they tried".
Honestly I think people cheat most often because they themselves are insecure. Getting the attention of another helps them feel wanted, and helps them feel that if and when their current relationship ends, they will not end up alone.
I think that people rarely ever cheat because of anything their partners did or did not do, they cheat because of their own insecurity. They are trying to prove something to themselves. Or at worst, trying to hurt the other person...again, only people who are insecure in themselves get off on hurting another.
people cheat because they are cowards with no self control. They don't want to deal with whats wrong in their relationship, so they cheat, get caught, so the other person will dump them.
Ive been cheated on... and the scumbag who cheated on me got the 14yr old pregnant and he landed up in jail for it.
(this is just based on my personal experience)
Excuses all. I understand there are always two sides to a story, but the person who cheated made a choice. The biggest, worst choice. And they still chose it. Sure, they have reasons (excuses) such as these, but they made the choice to do the ultimate wrong instead of fixing whatever the issues were the hard grown up way.
Immaturity and selfishness. A relationship deserves honesty, and if a person isn't willing to be honest then they don't deserve a relationship. If a person feels they must be with someone else they owe it to their mate to terminate the relationship.
This list is an absolute cop out. It's plain and simple: if your heart is no longer into a relationship then have the courage to break up first before you go sleep with someone else.
If you can own up to your mistake and work through it, that's great. If I was ever told any of these excuses though I would laugh and be gone in two seconds. Ridiculous.
cheating is so creepy, how can anyone want to be with someone who is so full of lies? I mean the person who the cheater dates, like if she (or he) knows the guy cheats????? He (or she) will do it again, come on. People don't change, once a cheater, allways a cheater. So don't date cheaters, or accept you'll be cheated on, later. How difficult is that to figure out?