My friend, Rayanne, became really close with a guy, Tom, eventually developing into romantic feelings for him. After months of this going on, Rayanne confessed to Tom her feelings. Since they were good friends, he was very nice about it but turned her down.
Rayanne is obese. For health reasons that she was born with, her metabolism has been failing and no matter how healthy she eats, her body doesn't process food correctly and it becomes fat. When Rayanne asked Tom if her weight had to do with it, if she wasn't overweight, Tom did admit that he wasn't sure and that he probably would have been able to date her was it not for her weight. When Rayanne told me this, I told her how much better she could do and how great and beautiful she was. She thanked me but told me that she really appreciated his honesty and understood his reasons.
I wasn't sure what to think. Rayanne is beautiful and such a great person. But you can't force physical attraction to someone, and Tom wasn't physically attracted to her. Now, Rayanne and Tom are back to friends, both moved past this, and perfectly happy with their lives. Rayanne is even dating someone new! Still, it left me thinking: was Tom's reasoning a legitimate excuse?
Of course, when in a relationship, it's never (or shouldn't be) all about the physical. However, physical attraction is still part of a romantic relationship, what differentiates it from a friendship... right?
Do you think being overweight is a legitimate excuse not to date someone? Is it physical shallowness or just a natural part of physical attraction?