A few weeks ago one of my best friends was describing her last big relationship to me: "We never fought. Never. We dated for two years I can I only recall a handful of conflicts that we resolved effectively without raising our voices," she said to me, obviously very nostalgic of that relationship. "That's what I miss the most. That's what I want back, more than anything."
I started to giggle to myself. Not because I thought that it was particularly funny, but because it was in that moment that I realized that her greatest desire was my biggest nightmare. To her a relationship was meant to be relaxing and calming; life floating on a placid sea. For me however, there must be icebergs. My significant other and I must be in the middle of tempestuous waters.
Why? First, I need passion. And right now I'm not even talking about the toe-curling, can't-get-out-of-bed kind of passion. I'm talking about a person who is passionate about their ideas and opinions, and if they disagree with my own that is sometimes even better. I know that without a healthy debate every once in awhile I will get bored.
I have been in both kinds of relationships. And I found that the relationship where my boyfriend and I fought a lot to be the most rewarding. I was forced to stick to my guns and I became a better persuasive speaker. And it also taught me when and where to pick my battles. Plus, I was never bored. What kind of relationship do you prefer? How often do you fight with your SO? Do you think fighting can be healthy?