Sunday, 18 March 2012
Hello Datingish readers! I follow this site adamantly, looking for advice. I may not be a very active member of xanga, but I really just joined because I love to read all that is going on! However, I could not find the advice I needed for this one particular problem I am having, and I'd really like some support and reassurance. Now, I follow Datingish pretty regularly and I've seen the kind of comments people receive about their problems. It's not nice.
I don't really understand why. If a person is facing a problem, nasty comments don't really help all that much. So do not judge me when responding to this post. Take a step back and really consider the situation. Not each person is the same and difficult situations for me may seem stupid to others.I have a boyfriend of over one year, he is my best friend. I love him with everything I am; he knows everything about me. But for some reason, lately I have been getting feelings of discomfort with the relationship. A good friend of mine, who had feelings for me, and visa versa, is constantly on my mind. He told me we can no longer be friends because he cannot stand to be just friends with me after everything. And for some reason this is leaving me at a crossroads.
When I don't think about this friend, it isn't an issue. But it's hard to really keep it out of my mind at all times. It comes up and puts a damper on every happy thought I have.
I feel as if I'm doing my boyfriend wrong by staying with him because these thoughts always cross my mind. I want to do everything I can to stop this. I love him so much, and I don't have a single doubt about him. But sometimes I get to worrying that these thoughts are coming back into my head because I missed out, or I start to think that I will never be able to comfort myself unless I see what could have happened.
I had strong feelings for him as well, almost like a first love. But my current boyfriend is my first really serious boyfriend and treats me amazingly; I could not have wished for anything better.
It really kills me to have these thoughts and I end up really hurt over everything and truly thinking that I don't belong in a good relationship because I don't really deserve it. My boyfriend is everything I could have asked for and more, and I feel as if I'm ungrateful. I just want to learn to be happy with what I have. I've talked to my current boyfriend about possibly taking a break to really see what's going on in my mind, but he takes it very hard.
He loves me and it's absolutely clear, and even me just asking really got him extremely upset. I chickened out a bit because I could not stand to see him so upset and we ended up back together almost immediately. I don't really know what else to do, but I just need some form of advice that's beneficial.
Has anyone else felt this type of situation? Any advice would be appreciated! Thank you!