Wednesday, 14 March 2012
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Facebook Official: To Display or Not To Display?
When Facebook was still relatively new, being a "Facebook Official" couple was all the rage - if you weren't, it seemed seedy. "WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO HIDE?" said all those teenage girls with no lives (psh, totally not me...).
Nowadays, not only can you hide your status, but no one seems to give a crap: friends marry friends, it's complicated, and you can be in open relationships. It is rather fun to see who out of touch friends are with and I've definitely done my fair share of Facebook digging after a faraway friend gets into a new relationship.
Back in high school when I was in a relationship, I did the "In a Relationship with..." thing, but I quickly got rid of the status all together after my significant other and I broke up when I got to college. It seemed too public for me to display something like that and I wanted to experience dating without everyone knowing what I was up to.
A few years later, I find myself in the first settled relationship since then. It'll probably never make the Facebook wires, mostly because I don't take it too seriously besides some good ol' stalkings.
Do you display your relationship status on Facebook? Do you find these statuses more annoying and petty or are they simply fun for you? Or is your Facebook status true to your actual relationship status?
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- From: fromlusttolove@xanga
- Name: fromlusttolove
- About Me: obsessed with everything lust to love - relationships, dating, hooking up, cuddling, flirting, kissing. i'm just trying to find my true happiness, but i know i have a lot to experience out there. follow me on my journey or not. i'd love to hear about your journey as well, though :) there's nothing unique about me - i spew whatever's on my mind.
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Comments (48)
My boyfriend and I are Facebook official, but we've also been together for almost 4 years. I normally don't care whether people have their relationship status, but it does get a bit annoying when people break up and get back together over and over again. And when friends get "married."
My ex and I were Facebook officially and I forgot to hide it when we broke up in October. That was fun to get all those texts and messages from people who I knew really didn't care. We had been together for almost four years. We're still talking and might get back together in the summer after we're both done with school and can live in the same state, but I probably won't make it Facebook official again. I'd much rather hide it especially after dealing with all of that.
I am but we waited a while to see how we felt before going public. I can see why some people dont want their business out there but you can put "in a relationship" without telling who it is.
I do put mine on Facebook, but only when we've been together for a while (unless he sends a request to me first, then I'll accept).
I stopped that two years ago, after he changed his status and one of his exes "liked" it. This sparked rage in him more than I did, and after that incident, we decided it was just not worth the drama, wherever it came from.
Besides that, he also deleted his facebook. Now I just hide it, but it still says I'm in a relationship, haha.
My boyfriend doesn't have facebook so it doesn't really matter... I did put "in a relationship" however simply because I am in one. Easy as that.
I refuse to update my relationship status on Facebook. In fact, its hidden. I don't think its anyones business what I do in my relationships, and if you are privelaged enough to know, well you would know regardless of if its on Facebook or not. I really also despise when people "like" or comment on relationship status updates.
I also updated my relationship status when I was in high school. But, after that...well, whatever. No longer will I. Its also not like I use it to seek out significant others.
I put that I'm "In a relationship" but do not include my GF's name because it's no one's business. I do it more to put her mind at ease and just let any girl I befriend know that I am taken so they don't get the wrong idea. I'm a friendly guy, sometimes it gets misinterpreted.
if I was in a relationship I might change it after we'd been together for a while, but I don think Id put the name
Whether or not you like it, facebook is a big deal. It connects people around the world to each other. If my significant other DIDN'T agree to make our relationship facebook official, I would be highly suspicious. If you're in a serious relationship, why would you hide it? What need do you have to keep it private unless you're planning to go off and trick others into thinking you're single? It's just shady to me.
Plus, I had a coworker who was dating a guy that used your same logic. He said he didn't want everyone in his business, so he wouldn't make the relationship "facebook official".
As it turns out, he was cheating on her the entire time and using that excuse with several other women.
Just some food for thought. I wouldn't tolerate my relationship not being facebook official because I see no reason to hide it from people.
Unless, of course, you are a superhero and you want your loved ones to be protected from evil villains.
I find it silly how Some people seem to think if a relationship isn't "facebook official" it somehow is not valid. Mine is not posted, I still get the occasional person freaking out. "Why?! What's going on?" Even, "Soo, are You the other woman?" It drives Me bonkers because really, anybody that needs to know Does; Besides, I've learned that it's just not worth the kerfuffle whenever My status gets changed XD
My whole profile is "friends only" and I really only add friends, so I don't mind if they see my relationship status or who it's with. I remember being so angry that my boyfriend wouldn't put our relationship on facebook, because he was doing it in our daily lives too, just so that he didn't have to tell his parents. After we both went off to college, he finally told them and I could say, after nearly a year of "sort of dating", that we were in fact dating! *Angels singing!* It was nice to get that off my shoulders.
Did you get this idea from my boyfriend's USA Today article that reached Gawker yesterday? You really should, you know, cite your sources. Dumb. Guess that should be expected from Datingish.
I always hide any newsfeed updates when I change my relationship status because people comment on that stuff and it is weird.
That being said, I am conflicted about this. On one hand, it's facebook, who cares? I shouldn't care, and I mostly don't as long as his facebook doesn't say he is single. But then I think...why wouldn't he want people to know he is in a relationship? It comes off like he is trying to hide the relationship to me. It's something I never pushed, but I still tell him that I don't get the reason he is opposed to it. But then again, this was along aside another issues. This only happened once to me and he was hiding our relationship from his parents and younger brother (He was Chinese, and apparently it is frowned upon to have a girlfriend when you should be studying to become a doctor...or something.) So I guess if I know his friends and family and they know I'm his girlfriend, I wouldn't care about facebook.
Mine's usually hidden, as people really don't need to know.
But I just ended things with my boyfriend, and rather than having to go through all my friends and tell them we weren't together (because all of them would notice...) I showed that I was single.
I'll probably hide it again soon, though.
I didn't always think it was a big deal. Until I was the sketchy cheater, and realized...."WAIT, I can't explore my options if guys believe I'm off the market." Well it's been years and I grew up from that, but remembering the existence of that mindset changed things.
My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. I don't see us putting a relationship status up as too big of a deal or annoying. As for those people who enter a new relationship every month...
Also having a relationship status other than "single" helps to ward off most creeps. That alone is worth the effort.
@honeywings@xanga - I think it's quite sad that you feel things need to be on Facebook for them to be "valid". What if your partner doesn't have a Facebook? Or never gets on there to change his status? It's just a website, and honestly if you need to have your relationship status displayed online to make your relationship valid, that's a little...pathetic, sorry. People will still cheat regardless of what their Facebook profile says.
@mirrorslie@xanga - hah, wow. no? it was something i randomly thought about after just getting into a new relationship. i've been studying for finals for the past few days so the only thing i read is my own self-centered blogs.
Yes...we're married. Haha.
But, before that I didn't put him up there, because he wasn't on facebook and I decided to make one late in the game anyway. XD
@honeywings@xanga - I HAVE THAT LAST PROBLEM ALL THE TIME. I hate dating superheroes!
Anyway. Lol, my boyfriend and I aren't Facebook official anymore just because we didn't feel like it. I think it's cute and exciting when others change their relationship status. He IS in my profile picture though, and I'm in his, but I'm changing mine soon. I should probably warn him first...
Nope. None of my relationship statuses have been or are shown, and I have no intention of making anything "Facebook official". Neither my boyfriend nor I are public people, and we value our personal lives as personal. It took a year for most people we know and are both friends with in real life to even find out.
It's ridiculous
My relationship status is displayed, and my boyfriend and I are tagged so it shows. I've never really paid attention to who's with who, who's DOING who with "no strings", etc. I know some friends that play around with it for fun : ] I'm hardly on, anyways, so to me it's not a big deal.
♥L
-SM