Saturday, 10 March 2012
So - I've been seeing this guy who is currently taken. I know, I know. Spare me the lecture. Last night we were out having drinks and he had to step out to take a phone call from his girl. After returning, he looked at me and sighed and said "Is it bad that I want to spend more time with you than my girlfriend?" Hah. Not for me!
I know what all the women reading this are thinking about this comment: "UGH! What an asshole! What a slut!"
I see it differently. This situation is a classic example of the old "chicken and egg" conundrum. Let's rewind a little bit. This guy and I worked together briefly and never so much as flirted during that time. He's an attractive, nice guy - respectful, sweet, great sense of humor and smart. A normal guy. So what drives a normal guy to go behind his long-term girlfriend's back and start an illicit affair with a chick like me?
She's a psycho.
This guy had to get two phones because his girlfriend insisted on having the password to his first phone. His Facebook page is a barren wasteland consisting of one picture and under 60 friends. Having a publicized social life apparently caused him too much grief. Long before he and I even acknowledged any sort of attraction, she was questioning my name in his phone... at the time I was his manager. Everyone that I work with has my number, in case emergencies arise while I am not present at work. That explanation did not suffice and was relegated to the "secret phone."
Now - given that he's cheating, all of that behavior makes perfect sense, right? He can't be trusted.
All of that took place before the cheating. The only difference now is that he's actually getting laid rather than just being accused of getting laid. Which option seems more attractive to you?
Here's the point. We all have a reasonable expectation of privacy. Going through every electronic communication medium that your partner has access to does not make you attractive and frankly, it's an indicator that your insecurity and paranoia have already reached critical levels. On top of that, ANYTHING you find will set you off. OMG! He said, "Hey" to a girl that I don't know and didn't tell me about it? HE MUST BE CHEATING!
Please, do yourself a favor and channel all of that pent up craziness into something more useful - like the stair master or becoming the world class sniper on Call of Duty.