Saturday, 25 February 2012
I love my future mother-in-law, I really do. So far, she has been like an angel sent from the good Lord above. She's sweet, helpful, funny, generous, caring, and other words synonymous with "good mother."
But, as our wedding rapidly approaches in less than three months, she's become a bit, er, controlling. It started with the wedding guest list a while back. Because of financial complications, I was forced to axe half of my family from my portion of the guest list. Knowing this, my mother-in-law chimes in, wanting to invite cousins that even my fiance doesn't remember/know. My fiance and I finalized the guest list by ourselves, listing only the people who were most important to him.
More recently, while sending out Christmas cards, I sent her a list, asking for a few addresses. She asked why and I told her I was sending out Christmas cards. Once again, she took the liberty to send me a list of people that she thought I should send Christmas cards to. Lady, I love you, but I'm very limited on Christmas cards and only the people who mean the most to me are getting them.
With the wedding guest list finalized, I realized there was only one more event before the wedding that we would need a guest list for: the bridal shower. This is where my frustrations peaked. She began messaging me about different people, had I invited them, and if not, why? I have always been under the impression that the bridal shower is for close family and friends - not people I've never even met or have only met once. Then, she proceeded to say that my fiance's grandmother would be mad at me if I didn't invite her sister to the bridal shower.
After the treatment I've gotten from his grandmother, I could give a shit less if she gets mad at me anyway. She hasn't liked me from the beginning, simply because she told his dad that I remind her of his dad's first wife. So basically, just because I had blonde hair, I didn't even have a fair chance of being in her good graces. Once we got engaged, she came over to visit and my fiance was so excited to tell her the good news. With a disgusted look on her face, she said, "With all that money, I would have bought her something she REALLY wanted instead of a piece of jewelry."
After my fiance and I had gotten engaged and been together for a year and a half, she presented me with a card at Christmas with "?" on the envelope. She said, "I couldn't remember your name, so I just put a question mark." My feelings were hurt, and as I told my fiance, I would have rather her remembered my name and not gotten a gift than for her to have forgotten my name and gotten me anything. So, pleasing her is obviously not at the top of my to-do list.
Today, his mother messaged me again, wanting to know why I hadn't invited her cousin and her cousin's mom and grandma. I asked for said cousin's address, because I didn't intend on sending one to the cousin's mom or grandma, simply because I don't know them. She replied with five addresses, which included two additional people that were not included in the previous text.
Then I realized something. This is never going to end. I may have a chance to relax... but soon after we get married, we want to have a baby and what happens with a baby? Baby showers. And then there'll be the Christmas cards again. And then the kids' birthday parties. And then the kids school functions that are sometimes invite only. And then the kids' graduations. I am literally exhausted at the thought of it.
And I know that some of you have way worse mothers-in-law, but this, I believe, is just the beginning for me.
Have you experienced similar situations with your mother-in-law?