Wednesday, 22 February 2012
I'm growing bald; I've been growing bald since I was 15. Because I have genetic baldness, it's something that I don't have much control over. People have always told me that I have no reason to be upset about it; after all, I have little to no control over it, so why should I be upset over something that I don't have the resources to change? Even still, getting used to the fact that I was growing bald, that I was going to lose my hair that I felt helped me look physically attractive, is not something that I can just get over and accept.
Being 15-16 years old and already experiencing noticeable hair-loss, I was scared; not because of something I'd have to get used to, but because I felt like no woman would ever find me physically attractive. I understood the basics about DNA, and I saw no reason for a woman to be interested in me as a life partner. Why would a woman have a child with me when she would know that the child's chances of developing baldness would increase?
I was single for several years, and I considered my baldness an imperfection that prevented me from getting a girlfriend. I couldn't come to terms with it, and thinking about it only made it worse. I wanted a relationship, but felt that I was doomed to be single for the rest of my life. I sort of gave up "trying" to find a girlfriend.
What's this got to do with the title?
Well...the biggest mistake I made when being single was I didn't really understand the difference between a preference and necessity. Whether or not women want to admit it, most women would prefer a man that has good hair. Just because I was growing bald didn't really mean that it was going to prevent me from getting a relationship, it just meant that I wouldn't have the chance to date every single woman in the world.
When I was single, I wanted to impress every woman because I thought that it would increase my chances of finding "the one." However, when I actually sat down and realized that I only needed to impress ONE woman, I gained a lot of motivation because I didn't feel that I needed to prove myself. I started to focus on myself, joined a dating service, and I just wanted ONE woman that mattered rather than several women that didn't have anything that I wanted. Now...I'm almost celebrating my 10 month anniversary with my gorgeous girlfriend.
I'm sure you could spend all day naming off your imperfections and about why you're single or why you can't keep a relationship, but just because someone has a preference against your imperfections doesn't mean that no one will ever want to be in a long-term relationship with you. It's not about impressing everybody; it's about impressing the one person that matters. Love has no preferences.
The person you thought you'd never consider dating may very well be the person that you'll end up growing old with. Don't ever think for a second that you aren't beautiful...because you are. Maybe not to everyone, but to one person you're the most beautiful man/woman that he/she's ever seen.
So at the end of the day, do your imperfections really matter?