Wednesday, 22 February 2012
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When Love Turns Into Pain
This post was submitted anonymously.My ex and I dated for 4 years before we broke up. He claimed that he lost feelings and he did it over texts.
A few weeks ago, about 5 months since the break-up, he confessed his love to me again and asked for another chance. I agree with giving us a chance but not running right back to him because I want to see how he has changed (he claims that he has changed completely).
We met up a few times and talked, then all of a sudden, he stopped speaking to me, texting me or contacting me. It's been about a week and most of my friends tell me to just give up altogether and never even talk to him again.
He destroyed me when he broke up with me 5 months ago. And now all the pain has come back.
Should I talk to him or should I just let it go? Why did he stop talking to me when he was trying so hard to get me back just a week ago?
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Comments (31)
Something may have come up in his life that made him no longer have time to talk. That still doesn't excuse him from not giving you a heads up that he'd be unable to talk if that's the case. You may want to wait until he explains himself for not talking and, if he has a valid reason, then give him a second chance. If he gives you a bunch of bull, then just forget about him.
Good Luck
He breaks up with you by text after 4 years? And then burn you again when you consider lettin him back in? Let it go, unless you're a masochist. Who needs that in their life? Move on to better things.
Is this really a question? Sounds like he's not the only one with issues to work out
That looks like my cat.
But in regards to your relationship, it may hurt but you should just walk away. I've been where you are and I feel like I held on to something that was over too long. It held me back in numerous ways and it took me a good year to get over the breakup and move on with my life and emotions.
Remember, thereare 2 sides to any story. If it's bothering you this much maybe you should confront him and ask him what's wrong. Perhaps then and there you guys can break up for real this time?
more often than not it's a bad idea to be seeing your ex for any reason after a breakup. even if you are on good terms, there's always strong feelings that can lead to bad situations, such as showing up at your house unannounced, threats, one of you guys being totally confused and suffering emotionally, arguments etc. remember, you guys don't NEED each other to be happy.
How old is he? My first love did this to me and now that I am older and he is, we understand that it was because he wanted more experience with women. He wasn't ready to settle with the first woman he had sex with. It devastated me but years later I see it was for the best and happy I didn't end up with him. I say move on. There is someone out there who will love you and keep loving you. A man who won't break your heart and that's who should have your love. Not this guy.
The same exact thing happened to me just recently. My ex and I had been broken up for about 2 months before we started talking again. He would text me and call me saying how much he missed me and that he made a mistake breaking up with me. We hung out as well and even slept together (my bad) and he basically led me to believe that we would end up together again. Then out of the blue he stopped talking to me. No texts and no calls. I found out a week later that he was dating someone else. It hurt pretty bad. I couldn't understand why he would say all those things to me and then just go be with someone else. My advice: move on. He's not worth it. As much as it hurts you don't need that kind of instability in your life. Everyone deserves to be with someone who ACTUALLY wants to be with them. If you love someone or truly care about someone you don't ignore them or break up over a text message or out of the blue. It sounds to me like he just doesn't know what he wants out of life so you should find someone who does.
Guys like this are toxic. Don't get back together with him, don't engage in any form of communication with him. Let him go and move on.
guys always complain girls are hard to decipher? see what guys are doing now. haha
Seems like he just wanted to see if he *could* have you if he wanted. I've had an ex do this to me, before and the best thing for you to do is just move on.
un...If I were U,i would like to talk to him WITH FLIPPANT ATTITUDE..
Why he ask for another chance and apologize to you???
Because he cant get rid of you and want to possess you again and feeling a sense of loneiness!!
And why dont he talk to you again etc after you two meet up again?
To be frank,because he can possess you easily and think that you may not leave him alone,and after you may become not very important in his life.
Therefore,if you talk to him with a flippant attitude,he will more cherish you and feel more fresh because you change the new one.As u know,some boys are so.......suck and disgust but we still love..!!!
For example,He called you and said,''Hi,honey.Where are you??Can you buy something with me???''
And u can say something indifferent,''hi.I'm not available now.Next time,okay?bye''
Finally,he would like to say more thing and send more texts with you in order to draw your attention!
This is my experience.Hope that u can success.
This is my experience.Hope that u can succeed
He didn't give you an explanation and just vanished. Uh does this really need to be thought over? No offense. If he can't take the time to explain to you why he just did that, then he's not worth it...unless he got locked up in jail for a week? I dunno.
hmm I think this song suits your situation right now:
He better be deadHis house burnt down to the ground
He better have two wheels hangin off a crumblin cliff
Way up in the hill
I swear in his head
Better be pressed up against a gun
After all the things we said
If he still ain’t called by now
He better be dead
Cant change the font oops. Anyway, he broke up with you BY TEXT?! That is a reason in itself never to speak to him again.
He has disappeared because he just thought he wanted you back, because he didnt have you. But now he knows he could have you back,
so he's over it. It sucks, but you are better off without. Hearbreak is one of the hardest things to get over, but you will see it with time
FUCK.THIS.GUY. (as in, you should completely forget about him)
This doesn't sound so good to me. He is clearly less concerned about how you feel than about how he feels. Chances are he just got tired of the relationship when he first left you, and now that he's single, he's decided he doesn't like not having someone to bang, so he figures that if he goes crawling back to you and begs really hard, he can have everything back the way he likes it. Ha has not "completely changed" in such a short amount of time - that's a total cop out and an attempt to manipulate you.
I'd let him go if I were you. It may be hard, but if you don't, the pain is only going to get much worse. You might miss an opportunity to meet and/or date a really great guy by letting your ex play you like this. You sound to me like a girl who deserves better.
forget about him!
I would not let him drudge up all those memories again! You've come too far! *Hugs*
I'm sorry, and I know how it feels. My situation ended up working out, though. It was more of a matter of him wanting me back yet he expected me to be the one to fight for him and us weighing out the pros and cons of 'renewing' our relationship, and etc etc...so we were at a standstill, but I didn't budge.
As for you, I'd say drop it. It's dumb and you don't deserve to be strung along and confused like that.
If it were me, I'd talk to him. Not to get back together with him though, because at this point, he's not worth the heartache. But who knows what's going through his head...it might help both of you to clear the air. It won't be easy, and you'll probably end up going your separate ways anyways, but at least you'll gain some closure instead of being left with a hundred questions. Hopefully that will make it easier to move on.
Just let go.
Makes me think of that episode from How I Met Your Mother. Unfortunately for Ted, the chick knew Krav Maga....
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That's quite unfortunate...
Maybe he's going through a tough time or he has issues that he needs to work out. Either way if he really has feelings for you, he would talk about it with you.
The way I see it, if he can't communicate with you, then he wasn't really serious about getting together with you again. So, why should you suffer for someone that comes and goes...there is no certainty in him.