Tuesday, 21 February 2012
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When Do You Stop Pursuing?
If you have been off and on with a guy for a few years, but never officially dated, what are the signs that we should recognize to know if we're just wasting our time?
May I say also, this person is friends with my brother...that is how I met him, so could that be a reason?
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- From: southbeachgirl
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Comments (32)
If it's been a couple of years and it doesn't seem to be getting serious, why are you still around?
There is way too little info to make any helpful suggestions. Sorry.
A few years? Hunny you should have kicked him to the curb a while ago.
A casual 10 minute conversation is all it takes to tell if someone is worth pursuing. Trying to force a round peg into a square hole can lead to a lot of wasted time.
LUL DUMP HIM HE'S TOTALLY NO GOOD
@sometimestheycomebackanyway@xanga - So your real name is Curtis is it?
@sometimestheycomebackanyway@xanga - You better believe it.
@sometimestheycomebackanyway@xanga - Actually you and I are both taking up space on the Original Poster's blog entry. See ya round.
If a guy is interested in you, you will know. He will ask you out.
Even the shyest guy will take a chance for someone he's actually interested in.
Abort, abort.
@sometimestheycomebackanyway@xanga -
Dear sir,
Why are you such an ass?
If it's been a couple years? Maybe you need to give it up. I hate saying that, but you obviously aren't getting serious. Have you ever talked about getting serious?
Could be a reason (the brother thing). Though if you've been on and off for a few years, there's probably no real future for you. I mean it's possible, and you didn't give much detail and you would know best. But just from what you wrote, I'd say there's no real relation there so you might as well move on.
Difficult stuation
if it's been years, it's time to move on and find someone who is worth your time.
well, "for a few years" says it all.
Let go now. kthxbai
Well if it has been years, it says it all. I'm sorry, but if you have been dating all this time and nothing happens, fuck the loser. If you are friends and show signs you like each other, but are just getting to know each other, I guess it give it some time, like a year or so at the most..
@Shadowrunner81@xanga - THAT'S WHO CURTIS IS!!! OMG YOU just made my night!!! I keep hearing people talk about Curtis, had NO idea!
:)
A few years is too long. 6 months is too long. 3 months is debatable.
I've been unofficial with the guy I'm seeing since 2008. Some people are just more comfortable without titles. We've both been trying to look for other people in between but we've had no success with others and it just keeps bouncing back to each other. This unofficial dating thing is working for me -- I'd have too much insecurities if it were official, constantly worrying if a guy is talking to another girl behind my back with the way relationships go these days. Sometimes unofficial relationship work for some people, but it may not be the thing for you. You don't have to stop being friends with him, but if you want more, then I think you should cut off your physical ties with him and just do friend things.
if it's been two years and you want more and more isn't happening, it's time to move on. I've been where you are with a friend's brother and with a brother's friend.
No one was every totally willing to cross that line. Putting my heart and life on hold made no more sense. I got on with my life with someone who was able and willing to commit to an actual relationship with me. When I got into a real relationship, it was a lot easier to get over the sorta kinda guy than I ever would have imagined.
@temporarilyinnocent@xanga - I'm making this comment public on my xanga feed. I've learned much more about curtis since I called him out by name like that. I had no idea who he really was or what his story was/is. Please leave him alone even when he tries to get a rise out of you.
And I agree with you about the timetable relevant to the OP.
@Shadowrunner81@xanga - Celestial Teapot and Gravy are the only psychos I know here on Xanga who are criminally obsessed enough to seriously investigate the personal lives of their victims.
Strange.. I feel like I have the same problem..
I'm in love with this guy for probably 3-4 years now, but we were never official.My thought is that you should talk to him. Straighten it out and see if he wants to be dating. Cuz for me, the guy I love isn't ready for commitment, so that's why we're still friends.
My husband was too scared to try and ask me out a second time, but even he was determined enough to get a friend to do it for him. While it may be considered cheap or cowardly that he had to get a mutual friend to play matchmaker for him, at least he took action. The point, in the end, I am trying to make is that if the boy (hell, girls too) is really interested, he'll make a move.
you NEVER pursue. if he wants you he'll be with you. end of story