Hey, men. come here for a second. We got to talk about something that's very important.
Now, I hear tell from your girls that you guys aren't treating your women right. Either that or you haven't been what you used to be. I don't know whose side is right. I don't know what's really going on. I'm just saying that perhaps a little change in the game plan is in order.
You see, I'm what they call The Maintenance Man, every soon-to-be-ex-man's nightmare. I'm romantic, friendly, a good listener, and open to fulfilling any girl's fantasies. I'm the type of guy that women think about whenever you had your 7th fight with her, whenever you cheat on her, or are just plain neglecting her or her needs. I'm not just talking about sexually, neither. But emotionally, spiritually and, perhaps, in various other ways. To put it in another way, girls either call, text, or approach me to do for her what some of y'all won't do.
Now, I'm not trying to rile you up or nothing. I'm saying most guys have lost their girls to guys like me before. I'm single and might be looking, and as long as they have that "single woman" mindset, discrimination is nothing.
Now, I love seeing girls happy with their men. That makes my day and wish for a girl of my very own. What I don't understand is how some of these women wind up so unhappy with you. What's the deal with that?
In fact, you don't have to tell me what's up. Just listen up, dude. Make her feel like the only one she should have stepping to her and romancing her is you. Make your girl a little happy. Because if you are not, then you might want to get used to the idea of her being with me for a little while.
True
Comments (31)
Thanks, Whoopi Goldberg.
"I'm romantic, friendly, a good listener, and open to fulfilling any girl's fantasies."
i dunno man, you seem to sound much more like her proverbial gay best friend (who is straight but will never get to bang her) to me :/
Why does the guy in the picture look like Al from Home Improvement?
aren't you the guy who wrote a post about hitting his girlfriends? and then another one about threatening to leave them if you guys fight?
You seem like a mangina. The type that puts the pussy up on a pedestal.
I guess some women like lap dogs...
Yes, becuase you are the shit right? You're cockyness is a turn off, bro.
If you're all that, so alluring that women think of you when they aren't being satisfied, one has to wonder why you're single. Oh, right. It's because you're full of shit.
I like every single one of the above comments. Hilarious.
@kev1nccho1@xanga - Before you throw a cheap shot at me, pull up your damn glasses, boy!
@Insomnia_Pickles_XtraTomato@xanga - Nope. Wrong guy. I know who you are talking about. The dude who never apologized for it, right? I read about that one.
@UnconventionalButterfly@xanga - Actually, I do think I am the shit. I think it would be pretty damn useful to do so, what with the world's self-esteem issues and all.
@Crossed_Out_Name@xanga - There's nothing like the random diss that signifies so little. An -ish post is not complete without them. But it's a correct response. If you know good and well that you treat your woman right, then telling the man to step off would be the right answer. Unfortunately, it could also be the temper of someone who knows they might lose their woman. Please, be careful as to how to approach any man who befriends your gal.
@Super_Andy@xanga - The funniest part isn't just that some would rather make fun of the post than heed it (because this does happen with plenty of women, I hear). It's that they think I am actually the maintenance man. It's obvious I'm not writing about myself. Who in the right mind would right this, if they assigned themselves such a character? This is a first person character study, based upon plenty of women friends who, in real life, constantly complain about the shortcomings of their men and some men I saw on a talk show who claimed such an identity.
When I saw these men who called themselves the maintenance men, I thought of the logical mantra in a relationship: if your girl is not happy, one of these men (or women) will take your place. The same rules apply when it comes to a woman's man. And all the scathing disses in the world won't help you, if you lose her. So, I'm not a pushover by any means, but I'm not above making any girl I have appreciate having me on her arm, rather than some other dude.
Now, I'm not Don Juan by any stretch of the imagination, but I do the best I can to keep the maintenance man from being around my girl. There will be nothing for him to fix.
@AmorVomnia7@xanga - What is this? the 40-Year Old Virgin?
@mynameisblueskye@xanga - Cheap shot? You really do look like her lol!
@kev1nccho1@xanga - Heh! Anyway, you do know this is me playing a character to spread a message. Right?
@mynameisblueskye@xanga - Lol of course, the advice at the end makes it pretty clear. I did thank you for the advice XD
@kev1nccho1@xanga - (as The Maintenance Man) "You're welcome. (tips hat)"
Maintenance Man; AKA guy who gets his ass kicked repeatedly.
lol people are taking this way too seriously.
Yay this is a good message everyone needs to hear! Your message is basically 'guys, treat your woman right, because if you don't eventually you may lose her'. I see nothing wrong with that. Then again this is xanga and it is rife with morons. Go you!:)
Why don't you smell your own shit before you go off thinking it doesn't stink. Women like confidence, not cockyness.
@Peppermint__Kisses@xanga - agreed :)
not that what your saying isnt true, after a bad relationship, women usually go to the nice guy, but that usually doesnt last. Most women seem to like the assholes. but there is a fine line between that cute asshole who they think they can change and that dick head in the corner who called all your friends fat. being an asshole gets you laid. being a nice guy gets you laid and certified as a therapist and possibly a fight after the chick gets back with the asshole she was originally with. i prefer to be the asshole. so much less hassle and IMO more rewarding. still a possibility for the fight, but usually for an asshole, that goes into the reward category...lol. but to each his own.
when i think of "the maintenance man" i think of luda's line from one-minute man. but i can't remember all the words to the line!
There's an old country song to this effect "lonely women make good lovers. They're all at the mercy of a good looking smooth talking man. Lonely women make good lovers. So if you've got a woman better treat her just as good as you can"
That being said, I don't want my man to be everything to me. I want him as my male partner, and yes, to remind me often that I am worth the effort. But not to meet all my spiritual and emotional needs. I don't want to turn him into my bff, or have him follow me around the mall when I am shoe shopping. His part comes in when I wear the new outfit and his eyes widen and he kisses me and tells me how great I look.
I don't have a checklist of what I want in a man. I meet people, some of them I am attracted to, and if he likes me too, we try out a relationship. No one guy is going to fill every role, but each one brings something to the table. We see if the tools both of us have are enough to build a solid relationship, if so, we proceed, if not we go our own way.
I don't leave one guy because I sense someone else as the perfect guy. I leave a guy because he and I can't make it work. There is no one type of guy out there that I can absolutely make it work with, no matter how amazing they feel they are. People want and need different things.
Men don't lose me because guys like you are around.We part ways because the relationship flounders, because we aren't deeply compatible.
It is NOT a competition, may the best guy win. It's compatibility, two people building a relationship together.
Your ideas seem sort of shallow to me, that if you present yourself as some textbook version of Mr Perfect, you will show everyone else up. That's not reality. There is no Mr Perfect or Ms Perfect, there are people that are a good fit for a certain someone.
There are a lot of women out there who would read your presentation of yourself and be totally unattracted to you.
Your idea of what other men should be doing is YOUR idea not Universal fact.
I love the people of Xanga. They take themselves and every single post way too damn seriously. But uhm, speaking from watching my friends fly from relationship to relationship and getting back with exes, this post is pretty much TRUE. Sooo.. maybe people should actually try reading it instead of going in thinking, "Oh, how can I find every possible way to disagree and bash this post?"
I thought this would be a post on how it's important to fix things around the house for your lady....cuz of how they like watching guys perform manual labor or something.
Or how you shouldn't flush condoms down the drain.
@Peppermint__Kisses@xanga - Finally, one of a few is getting the gyst of it! Haha!
@TheNotoriousGOD@xanga - That's what I was thinking, too. That's probably where the slang term "maintenance man" took off, I believe. That's the first place I heard it, and it wouldn't be the last.
@llxgrimxll@xanga - I can't say I've really got to know these men, but I'm sure not all of them are the nice guys that people commonly describe. Everytime I hear that term, I think of the boring end of nice. You know? But most present themselves as just your common flirt/gentlemen figure.
i definitely thought this was going to play on the porn trope like, 'men, satisfy your ladies or the next time i come to fix the faucets, i won't be able to tell her no!' hahahah.