Settling is getting married.  Dating someone is not settling.  Good luck.

Damn html on these cheap blogs. I hate them! That's why I use wordpress.

Stop and ask yourself this question:  why does it matter that you're single?  Be really honest with yourself.  

And then maybe:  What do I want out of a relationship?

And even:  How do I value people? 

These are the questions (IMO) that you should be asking yourself.  

Good luck.

"I've been single for 22 years." So I'm guessing you're what, 22? You sound absolutely ridiculous. Did you expect to start dating as soon as you came out of the womb? Or in pre-school, maybe?? Your life is just starting and you have decades of adult life ahead of you. No need to think you're ugly or cursed. Stop holding yourself back, just go out there and try to get to know guys you find interesting or attractive -- and build from there. Dating isn't settling, dating is about getting to know yourself and other people.

No, don't date around to see what you like. Figure out what you want first, and then look for that within other people. You'll figure yourself out as well as gain confidence in the process.
If you date around to see what you like, your tastes and standards will change depending on the person you're with and you'll never have a consistent set of standards

There are many other ways to build confident. You don't have to date, but you can. Work on yourself and what you want in life while you're single, because once you get into a relationship.. there's a whole shit more to think about and it might distract yourself from your own goals in life. Feeling confident is about doing good in life, not just about finding the right guy. The right guy will come along eventually, and it would just be an added bonus to your already happy life !

just because you date doesn't mean it's already serious. doesn't it build up to that

I understand where you're coming from since I'm the same age and I believe in true love as well, not settling for anything less than my soul mate. But I also believe that before you can love someone else, you need to love yourself, as trite as that sounds. I've been an independent type of person from a young age and though I think it'd be great to have a strong, loving relationship with the man destined for me, right now, I'm not ready for that kind of commitment so I'm really glad I haven't met him. Honestly, based on the short-lived relationships in my past, I learned I'm not good as part of a couple because I like doing things by myself, not having to consider another person's thoughts/desires/etc. When I'm alone, I don't feel lonely; I don't need other people, whether an SO or friend, to feel happy.

I say all that to say this: learn about yourself, your strengths, weaknesses, personality, whatever before diving into the dating pool. I think it's fine to date so long as you're not going to break someone else's heart just because you want to learn something about yourself. Whether a romantic relationship is casual or serious, each person deserves respect and courtesy because they're human too. Most people are nice and understand this so I think you over-exaggerate when you view dating as "settling." A lot of our peers date exactly for the reasons you mentioned, to ease back into the relationship scene, learn more about themselves and others through their experiences. It's really not a morality issue at all.

"It kinda seems like I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't. I
could die and rot single or I can date freely to seek validation and
have it all blow up in my face later."

Again, I think you're blowing things out of proportion. Though I believe there's a soul mate for everyone, I don't see singlehood as something rank that signals the death of someone's happiness. In fact, I think people are and should be responsible for their own happiness. That kind of joy is the most important, in my opinion, because you nurtured it on your own. You don't need validation from someone else to feel good about yourself. I think you're trying to get into relationships because you're not comfortable with introspection so you feel that you can gain confidence through others' opinions of you. You're the only constant in your life so you need to KNOW yourself inside and out. Revel in being alone, don't despair over your circumstances. That will only lead to starting something with someone that will definitely blow up in your face. How can you expect someone else to love you when you can't love yourself? How can you commit to someone else if you can't commit to yourself?

Sorry if this sounds harsh; I'm just trying to be honest without sugar-coating anything. You're young; WE'RE young. Stop rushing yourself, it's not that serious. There's so much more to life than having a SO. Figure out what you like, dislike, love, hate, want, don't want; then the rest will come. Just believe in yourself! If there's something you don't like about yourself, figure out a way to fix it. I'm not a full-speed-ahead-go-getter; it takes time for me to adjust and act accordingly but when I do, I know that I will get what I have been working towards. Finding yourself is about the journey, not the destination, because as you experience things throughout life, you will change and so will that destination. You'll have multiple pit stops on the road and changes in the route but enjoy the good and roll with the punches when it comes to the bad.

With that said, once you've got a solid handle on yourself and feel confident not only in what you want from another person but also in knowing yourself period, start sending out feelers. Pro tip: you will always get hurt; it will always be there waiting to pounce, trying to bring you down. If you care about someone, you are giving them power to hurt you. You can't control their actions but you can control your reactions. Don't be afraid of pain; wallow in your self-pity, mire yourself in hurt, then find a way to move on, whatever that path may be, confrontation or separation or something else on the spectrum. Introspection is only part of the journey to self-actualization; your experiences with others, whether direct or indirect, are another part of it. I know some of this may sound contradictory and I apologize for that as I tend to ramble but I hope you understand what I'm getting it. Find a balance between feeling and analyzing. At the heart of a good relationship is the fact that both people know of and believe in themselves. That's why they have something to offer to the other person, something meaningful and worthwhile.

My guess is that some people prefer singleness over dating, purely because of boy's immaturity level, and partly I believe it's because of isolation to an extent, where socialization is not needed. yeah, because there is a lot of people who are forced into relationships that end up broken. Once you break something, it's harder to put back the pieces into it's original state, I totally feel where you're heading toward with this arguement, but the gist of being single isn't all that bad. We can see and try to set goals.....on a higher ground. Peace and love, girl~ haha :)

People think that you reach a certain age and you magically become that comfortable and confident person you image the grownup you is. As someone about to turn 30, let me say that it does not just happen. I still feel like a kid.