Wednesday, 08 February 2012
My boyfriend isn't very sentimental or romantic. He usually has a hard time opening up and expressing his feelings. He isn't even real big on holding hands or being all PDA when we're out. He shows his affection in other ways, such as putting a lot of thought and effort into making me something for a holiday gift or sending me encouraging texts when he knows I'm having a rough day.
But, I still love him, even though I am an affectionate person.
After "kind-of dating" for eight months, and then "officially dating" for seven months, I decided to bite the bullet and tell him exactly how I felt about him. Yes, after thinking long and hard about it, I finally decided to tell him "I love you."
We recently took a road trip to Florida to attend his friend's wedding. On our way back to Ohio, we stopped in Georgia and stayed at a hotel for the night. After having some late-night-extracurricular-activities, we settled down and got ready to go to bed. I decided that this was it. This was my big moment.
Suddenly, I started to get really shy. I just kept going, "Hey...Hey..." and did some weird thing where I would poke him and giggle and turn my head away. Yeah, I get weird like that when I'm nervous. Romantic, right? But he knew something was up. I was just so scared of actually saying it out loud, you know? I knew he had trouble with mushy stuff like this; how would he react?
So finally, like a volcanic eruption of word vomit, I blurted out those three words.
He got tense and nervous and replied with...
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I got Han Solo'ed.
Well, it all went downhill after that. I, unfortunately, got really emotional (I mean, I did put my heart on my sleeve for a minute there and didn't get anything in return). And we had a loooong talk about it. He didn't want to say it because he just didn't feel comfortable saying it. He didn't grow up with an affectionate family, and hasn't had a serious relationship like this. He just isn't used to all this mushy stuff. He said, "It just sounds weird when I say it." But he made sure to tell me how much he cared about me. And even though he just can't say it, he still feels it.
I eventually let it slide for the time being, mostly because it was getting late, I was exhausted, and I didn't want to fight. But it still bothers me. It just seems like he's making an excuse to not say it. I would never force him into saying or doing anything that he felt uncomfortable about doing, though. And now I'm just kinda waiting for the day when he finally tells me how he feels.
Or am I just overreacting?
Have you ever had an "I love you" situation go horribly wrong?
Or, do you think the whole, "I love you" situation is a little overrated and not worth the nervousness and anxiety that comes along with saying it for the first time?