Monday, 06 February 2012

• Not Again...

  

  Whenever one of my brothers had or has a girlfriend, she always wants me (in a way, more). Every single one of them every single time... even with my oldest brother's girlfriend. It's flattering but I can't begin to tell you how incredibly awkward it is sometimes. My younger brother's girlfriend has been hanging out at our house every weekend now for the past 2 months and I never so much as looked her directly in the eye and for the very same reason I just described. My conscience: "Just look straight ahead and keep walking."

  He's chubby (okay, he's pretty fat to be honest) but since he's nice and not a bully or anything and apparently in school he's really funny like a young Chris Farley, I guess it's not so strange that his girlfriend is actually really pretty. I would always see her watching me out of the corner of my eye when I would go and come back in from outside (yeah, shut up, I started smoking again) and when walking back to my room or making something to eat or doing anything she would stare at me intently. It's not just how you feel it when someone is watching you... I mean, I very much felt it, but I could very plainly see it too.

  Finally, today she had the balls to ask me, "What's up?" Without thinking, sort of automatically I said, "The usual. What's up with you?" and she responded "Cool." My first thought was "Fuck. Big mistake." I could tell she was lovestruck and not just by her irrelevant response. From that moment on she was hanging on me, making sure to be in the same room all day, just staring at me enchanted and would ask the most random questions whenever an opportunity presented itself, laughing at even the most ubiquitous comments I made to anyone.

  Now anybody at this point is probably thinking "Oh, you're just over-analyzing" or maybe "How do you know she is watching you unless you are watching her?" or "You're just way too into yourself" and unless you knew me in real life, you'd probably think I'm bragging but I literally hate undue attention and everyone who knows me knows it. I would've rather stood outside in the cold until she left than face the awkward situation that I knew was about to unfold if I wasn't so sure she would've followed me out there as well.

  It's no exaggeration when I say that by the end of the day, it's 6:00pm, I'm sitting on the couch in the living room watching "How It's Made" on the History Channel and there's this 15-year-old girl that I've really only known for the past 5 hours cuddled up against me laying in such a way that her neck is on my shoulder and her head is pressed up against my cheek (I'm sure the soft white hoodie didn't help) and my brother is sitting at the other end of the couch, physically separated from her by at least 12 inches.

  Whenever he would leave the room to get something or go to the bathroom she would put her arm around me, literally one arm around my neck and the other on my thigh with my mom and dad in the same room. The worst part? They found it hilarious and were quietly laughing, making sure she didn't see and acting like they didn't notice because I have the same effect on every single one of my brothers' girlfriends and now that my 2 older brothers are married, wives, and literally every girl that is introduced to our family every single time. 

  I don't have to do anything and I'm a magnet to this kind of attention. My 2nd oldest brother's wife had mentioned it before in conversation with my family in a humorous tone, and I was beyond relieved because it's funny when it's out in the open, "I actually had a sex dream about you the other night..." and everybody laughed and she talked about how she had/has a crush on me/finds me attractive, obviously trying to make my brother jealous but in an overt way so that he would (and did) find it funny too. It should be noted that in this case, I'm 23 and she's nearly 30, making it that much more awkward for me.

  I know I am better looking than average, but there's just way more there that looks don't seem to account for.

  It's been this way with every girl I've wanted to date as well, but as soon as I show any interest, it's like all of a sudden I'm "back on their level" and I've even been flat-out rejected by the same girl I've gotten this kind of attention from shortly after I show even a fraction of the same amount of interest...

  http://t3hz10n.xanga.com/photos/d08ae274698145

  ^ Yes, the same thing with the girl from the comments.

  Is it really because I don't want attention that I get this kind of attention?

  Has anyone else ever had anything like this happen to them? What the Hell is wrong with girls these days? Are they really into guys that don't want them?

  • 12:30 PM
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